Fate's Cruelty

Chapter Twenty Nine: Adjusting After So Long

Chapter Twenty Nine: Adjusting After So Long

*April. One Month Later*

                I had never been good with dealing with my emotions- the bad ones. I could handle the good ones, the ones like happiness, joy; excitement but I could never handle sadness, stress; pain. I mean, I could but I just preferred not to. I didn’t like talking, I didn’t like expressing what I felt and I especially hated crying.

                So when Adam found me crying my eyes out late the night Ethan left for the army, he knew not to talk. He knew that telling me everything was going to be okay wouldn’t help, he knew exactly what to do. He held me and let me cry until I had no tears left. He pulled me into his lap, cradling me like a child and squeezed; letting me know that I wasn’t alone.

                Crying into his chest, I gripped his T-Shirt and sobbed, trying to hold it back, trying to push it back down deep within me. I couldn’t handle this right now, I couldn’t handle the ache, the heart wrenching feeling that I had lost him.

                He was gone.

                One night he was sleeping next to me and the next I was being cradled by Adam as I cried my heart and soul out.

                “Shh,” Adam hushed stroking my hair. “Let it out.” he whispered. “Let it out.”

                And I did. I cried into his chest until the sun came up from behind the horizon and then I sat up, whipped away my stray tears and showered, leaving Adam sleeping like a baby on top of my covers as he recovered from staying up with me all night, silently telling me that I wasn’t alone even though the man I loved, the man who was going to be my husband had left for the army just ten hours ago.

--

                The house was silent which I was glad for. My eyes burned as I flickered on the bright florescent kitchen lights and slowly walked towards the refrigerator. My body ached from being staying in one position the entire night. My head throbbed and my eyes were sore from crying all night long.

                To put it all together, I was a wreck and I was pretty sure I looked like one too. I had avoided looking in the mirror when I stepped out of the shower. I didn’t want to see how empty and hollow my eyes were. I missed my other half and already I was worrying if he was alright. He had promised me that he would call; he had assured me that he would write and call whenever he could but still, I was worried for his safety.

                 I pulled the sleeves to my hoodie over my hands and held onto the island counter for support. Dropping my head between my shoulders I inhaled deeply and squeezed my eyes shut. He was gone. One day to the next, he was gone.

                Pushing myself away from the counter I ran a hand over my face and through my hair, pulling at the roots for a moment. What was I going to do? It felt odd. Not having him around. We had spent so much time together that we had grown accustomed to having each other around constantly that now not having him around felt weird.

                “Pull any harder and you’re going to rip your hair out,” Gracie’s sleepy voice said.

                I looked up and uncurled my fingers from the wet and tangled mess I had as hair. Her brown hair was pulled up in a messy bun, random strands fanning her face. She wore a pair of grey yoga pants along with a black and red TTU T-Shirt and her black and grey fuzzy socks that she loved to wear around the house.