I don't need a doctor

~the governess~

We headed into the kitchen and I saw the governess for the first time when my jaw dropped. That couldn't be.... The face looked too familiar for me to just ignore. I didn't want to believe the first thought that popped up in my head but when a more familiar grin appeared on his face as he glanced over to me I immediately knew who was sitting there, the man who raped me a few years ago. HOW.

"This is the new governess" Elizabeth said. "Hello" he said. I didn't say anything and just sat myself on the other side of the table, from where he was sitting. Soon enough Julia walked in with whiskey and a cigarette in her hand and sunglasses on her face. She looked over to the new governess. "I see the governess has arrived" she said as she sat down opposite to me. I most likely looked down all the time. I could never look him in the eyes, ever. Julia noticed something was up as she tried to see me face from where I was looking down and then she looked over to the governess. I don't know if she made a connection that I was totally ignoring the horrible man and was sitting as far away as I could or if she just thought I ignored her. "What's your name?" she suddenly asked the governess. "Oh James" he said but I knew that was a total lie. I looked up at him as I met his gaze "Hi nice to meet you" he said and gave me an evil grin under his fake smile. I didn't answer, I just looked totally discussed at him and looked down again. I wanted to tell them who he really was, a man not named James but Richard who've been in jail for rape. I don't know how they could've missed tha- oh wait...the newspaper, I trashed it, damn it.

Elizabeth cleared her throat and didn't look happy with my welcoming to "James" but I didn't care.

Suddenly someone under a white blanket, supposed to look like a ghost walked in with small steps. I supposed it was David who wanted to scare the new governess. "David, that's James, he's going to be your governess," Elizabeth said without even facing him. He dragged off the white blanket and was kinda of mad "You ruined it...I was gonna scare him" he complained as he walked over to the dinner table. "I was gonna scare you, did you get scared?" he asked James. "Terrified" he answered and David looked satisfied. "You don't have to be nice to him just because he's nuts" Carolyn said from across the table. "Carolyn" Elizabeth sighed as David said something else, "Carolyn touches herself, she makes noises" now Elizabeth sighed "David" instead. I looked over at Julia a little fast as I got in mind when I accidentally walked in on her touching herself. She noticed me and understood exactly why I looked at her.

"You little shit!" Carolyn yelled to David.

"ENOUGH! Both of you" Elizabeth yelled over the dinner table and made an awkward silence.

After a while both Carolyn, David and Elizabeth had left the dinner table and it was only the three of us left, Julia, James and me. I didn't feel comfortable because of James and my situation with Julia but I hadn't finished my food or I hadn't eaten anything yet. I couldn't, the thought of eating with him around the table discussed me so my plan was to wait out everyone so I later could trash it but they both stayed longer than expected. "So is there anything I should know about David?" he asked Julia. "Yes David believes his mother is some kind of..." she didn't know how to finish that sentences really. They kept on the conversation for a while and I felt sick, how could he come here and teach a child after what he had done. Soon enough I left the table without even touching my food but I didn't care. Just before I was about to walk out I heard Julia. "And you Y/N don't forget our time this afternoon" she said. I didn't answer, I just walked out. I was still pretty mad at her or hurted...I don't know. As I left I heard them going on with their conversation in the kitchen.

Later that day I was sitting on the floor besides my bed only staring into the wall when I suddenly remembered I had an appointment with Julia. I looked over to the clock and it was 10 minutes ago I should've been there. I hurried up and made my way down to her office as usual, I was honestly a little bit nervous. I mean we kissed, patient and doctor and haven't spoken ever since. I knocked on the door a little carefully and heard Julia from the other side. "Come in!" she yelled. I opened the door and met Julia's gaze. "You late" she said and walked over to me. "I forgot" I excused myself with. She walked past me and closed the door, still standing behind me. "You gonna go sit or what?" she said as she made a guest to be patient. I'm not sure but she didn't use to do this, anyway I did as she said and walked over to the bed and sat myself there. She walked after and sat herself on the comfy chair besides. It was such a weird atmosphere between us but I still felt butterflies by even looking at her, she was such a pretty soul and human being. I met her dark brown eyes, looking into mine. I just deeply wished I could feel her warm lips against mine again and just hold her. My biggest wish I knew never would become reality and just in that moment she broke the eye contact by looking away. I sighed for myself or at least I thought but she apparently heard me and looked over to me. She leaned forward to be, grabbing my hand in hers. "Wh-what do you think about Ja-James" I stuttered. She looked a little surprised by my choice of question. She was right about to say something but she stopped herself, I started to wonder. A moment later she leaned forward and whispered "He's actually a little creepy, he makes me uncomfortable sometimes". HE DID WHAT!?

My facial expression changed immediately, "Something wrong?" she asked. "UH-uhm no, what do you mean with that?" I asked her. "I don't know, I guess he's looking down my body and making unreletable comments in a sexual way," she said as she leaned back. I was shocked...there's no way I was gonna let anyone go through the same shit I did, EVER and especially not Julia, she don't deserve that. I got really upset but I tried to keep myself calm. "I have to go," I said, trying to get out of there. "Really? Right now?" she asked. "Uh...yes...uh I think I just got my period" I said and made my way to the door. She looked a little shocked but didn't say anything really. I felt so bad for just leaving her behind but I needed a talk with James or whoever he said he was.

It didn't take me long before I saw him down the hallway upstairs and he saw me as well. My blood was boiling and I walked straight up to him and pushed him to the wall. He hit his head and that's when I realised my mistake. He didn't look so happy with me as he grabbed my throat and pushed me hard against the wall. I hit my head really badly and felt how my sight got dizzy. "I see you were looking for me?" he smirked as he got close to my face. I could smell his horrible breath in my face. "You little piece of shit" I yelled in a loud whisper. "Watch your mouth darling,'' he said as he started to caress my body with the hand that wasn't holding around my throat. He moved his hand to my boobs and then down my stomach down my private area. I tried to move but he was just pressing me harder. I knew if I tried something he would suffocate me and that would give him full control. I stopped moving and let him caress me, tears escaping my eyes. Not me again... He was just about to get under my panties with his hand when we heard someone walk up the stairs. He immediately stopped and let me go of his grip and left me behind. I took a deep breath and wiped my tears. I survived today. 

I hurried up and made my way to my room when I met Julia on the way. It was probably she who walked up the stairs. My pulse raised as I passed her and exactly what I avoided happened. She grabbed my wrist as I passed and made me face her. She saw my puffy red eyes and that I'd been crying "What happened?" she asked. "Nothing" I said as I forcefully took my wrist back and walked into my room and closed the door after me. Well in my room I broke down in tears, a quiet scream escaped my mouth as I was looking for air. This is a start of something that would become a nightmare. 

A/N: So I took stuck a little in the story but know I think I have some sort of a plan how this will turn out :) Also let me know what you think!