I don't need a doctor

~new nickname~

I woke up in the middle of the night all sweaty and shaky. I'd just had one of the worst night mares in a long time. I quickly sat myself up in the need of air and cried in silence. As I was lying beside Julia in the bed she happened to wake up by my sobbing. She rubbed her eyes and from the small amount of light that came into the room she could see my pale face and the tears that had escaped my eyes. She sat herself up and hugged me. "What happened?" she asked me.

 "Nothing but a dream" I sobbed.

 "Tell me" she whispered. 

"I can't tell you Julia" I tried to explain to her as I pulled away her hug.

 "Can you tell your therapist then?" she asked as she stroked my hair and pulled it behind my ear. I didn't answer so she made her way out of the bed to my side and took my hand. She then dragged me over to the patient bed and placed me there and then she sat herself on the chair she always used to sit on when I had my appointments. "So Y/N now tell me, what was the dream about?" She asked me just like she used to talk to me before everything between us happened. I looked at her confused but she just kept waiting for my answer.

"...the dream was about you and..." I started after a while. "Hmm..." She gave me as an answer. "...about you and James" I cried. "Go on" she said.

"I'm sorry I can't do this"

She stood up from her chair and walked over to me as she grabbed both of my hands. "What happen?" she asked me again. "He did something really bad to you and I couldn't do anything, I couldn't...I- I couldn't" I cried as my voice cracked from moment to moment. "It was only a dream Y/N, it wasn't real okay?"

"I know...I know but..." I sobbed.

"Y/N only a dream, not real" she corrected my doubts with.
She helped me to sit up and sat beside me. "He can't hurt us no more, sure he's out there somewhere but we're safe now okay?"

I nodded to an answer... "when they're coming back home again...could we not"

"Tell them?" she finished my sentences with. "Yes" I said but it came more out as a whisper.

"Alright darling...let's go to bed again" she said, putting her hand on my back. I nodded as I made my way off the patient bed and walked over to her bed instead. As I thought about it, a week ago I would never have thought that this would happen or that I would walk to Julia's bed like it was nothing special.

I laid myself on the bed and Julia besides me again. She made it comfortable for herself as she then grabbed my hand and held it. We stayed like that for the rest of the night until I could finally fall asleep peacefully.

The next morning I woke up to Julia making sounds from somewhere in the room. I slowly opened my eyes as the light from outside blended my sight. "Great dear, you're awake" she said as she noticed me opening my eyes. "I really need to pick up that medicine so I will have to leave you for a moment okay?" she said, getting dressed. "Alright" I mumbled.

After a moment she walked out of her bedroom/office and left me with my sleepy head behind.

I decided I wanted more sleep so I closed my eyes again when suddenly a weird uncomfortable feeling appeared in my stomach as I thought about the reality outside Julia's room. I wasn't able to sleep with that bad feeling inside so I decided to go up and make myself some breakfast.

I walked over to the kitchen in my pajama and just grabbed some yogurt and poured it into a bowl. I wasn't really hungry even though I haven't eaten a real meal for a long time.

After breakfast I sat myself in the living room waiting for Julia to come back. Sometimes I really really enjoy the silence and being alone where you just can be 100% yourself and let you fade away in your daydreams. Daydreaming has been sort of my new hobby. Especially dreaming about Julia and my dream life with her. Now lately I've been thinking it's turning into a reality and I'm not mad about it but it's weird as it never goes the way I want.