I don't need a doctor

~no words~

Days have gone and me and Julia have spoken from time to time but from what I've noticed, she's hiding something from me. Lately she has kept me from going inside her office. She always had an excuse for us to be in my room. Because 'it was better for me not to be in that environment'. I did not believe her for one second. I have confronted her about it but god what many excuses she had and neither were they bad. I honestly felt sad inside. What was she hiding from me? Even though only her presence made me feel unbelievably lucky and happy and just all excited, was there still something that made me feel this negativity. An unnecessary negativity that could easily pass but someone wouldn't let it.

Today I met her at breakfast but she left. As fast as she saw me she left the dinner room and disappeared. I didn't even have the chance to speak to her. She had been so distant really and I was ready to know why. She made her last move this morning cause i couldn't handle this sneaking around anymore.

I stood outside her office door deciding rather to knock or not. Of course I didn't want to invade her privacy or anything but well. I did the second I opened her door. The things that met my gaze were out of all things I'd imagined. It was...no it couldn't be. I was speechless. I mean. What. "WHAT THE HELL JULIA" I yelled to her in disbelief. She jumped out of her chair in panic, completely frightened. "OMG Y/n!" she said as she placed her hand onto her heart, panic stricken "I can explain" she breathed out. "OH you better be Miss Hoffman" I said looking straight into her eyes. "So uhm" she started off with but it didn't go any further. "OH GOD JULIA I KNEW YOU WERE HIDING SOMETHING, BUT THIS!?"

She was totally speechless, standing in front me. I walked forth and back in the room looking at the tank that was filling up with red, fresh blood. I was in shock. It was actual blood...in a big tank...not least but fresh blood. "Who's blood?" I finally asked her. "Barnabas..." she spoke noiseless. And all pieces were put together for me "Of course, that's why you've been seeing him. Isn't it?"

I pulled my fingers through my hair and just tried to take it in "Julia this is a lot of blood you know"

"Y/n calm down and let me explain" she said and sat down on a stool. I walked over to her and looked down at her. "This better be good" I told her. "Barnabas you see...is a vampire" she started off carefully. My eyes widened from her words. "Keep going" I said furious. "I'll make him human Y/n..."

I took a deep breath to not break out "Are you mad?" I asked her calmly. "No I'm not mad, he asked for it" she said while trying to act confident.

"He asked for it? A vampire? Weirdly enough I believe you but do you really think it's possible to make him human?"

"Yea sure"

"Julia"

"Yes I believe I can make him human"

"I don't believe you"

"Aghh what in the world can I do for you to believe me?"

I didn't answer. I didn't know what to think, what to say or what to do. This was just sick.

"I don't know" I said after I thought about it a while "I just don't think this is a good idea"

"You have nothing to worry about okay?"

"I don't know Julia, just promise me you're not doing anything stupid"

"I promise you sweetheart"

I took a step back and just nodded in regret, "fine" I sighed. She got up from the little stool and took a step towards me. "Let's not think about it anymore. Do you trust me or not?" she asked while stroking my cheek with the back of her hand. I looked up at her "I trust you" I said quietly to her. She pulled me into a warm, big hug and hugged me tight. She stroked the hair behind my ear. "Thank you" She carefully whispered into it. I didn't have a great feeling inside me but I will have to trust her. I didn't answer her, instead I pulled away from the hug. "Where are you going?" she asked me. I walked towards the door "away from here" I said and looked at all the blood. I gave her a last saddened look before I closed the door after me. I was meant to have a poker face but I couldn't, my sad expression lit through. I felt a little bad for just leaving her with that face but she lied to me, she hid this hideous thing for me. I guess that could be a reason I lowkey was mad or rather disappointed with her. She did hide all of this to me. Like I understand somehow but it felt like she didn't trust me. I don't know I shouldn't even put down my energy on it.

Soon enough I could hear footsteps running after me "Y/n wait, you aren't mad are you?" she asked me when she caught up. "What no" I lied but as mentioned earlier it's nothing I'm good at. She sighed my name over and over again. "I'm not" I tried again. "I know when you're lying dear" she seemed a little sad. I just looked down at my feets and started to play with my hands. "Stop that" she said and stopped my hands from moving. "Tell me the truth"
"I trust you okay"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes"

"Okay...come" she said and kept on walking. I walked after her until we reached my room. "Get in" she ordered me. I did as she said as I had more than needed respect for her when she ordered me something. I stepped in and then turned around to face her in the doorway. She rolled her eyes at me and closed the door. She then grabbed my arm and dragged me after her further into my room. "What?" I asked her, knowing this wasn't nothing. "If you're mad just tell me" she said. "I've already told you Julia, why can't you listen"

"No...no you're mad" she said like this was interrogation "if I would've trusted you for your words Y/n we would've had some problems huh"

I moved my gaze from her eyes onto the ceiling, it suddenly became very interesting to me.

"Y/n"

"Fine...I feel like you don't...you know...really trust me" I finally somehow got out. She sighed for herself. "I know it's silly Julia, just forget it"

Instead of answering she pulled me into another hug. My arms were just dingling down nonchalantly while she had her arms around me. "It's not silly" she whispered "I'm sorry". Those words didn't warm my heart. I started to feel guilt instead. She had nothing to apologize for or partly but this wasn't her responsibility. I'm not gonna get mad, sad or disappointed for her keeping that from me but I did. And neither did I hide it or successfully at least. I pulled her away from the hug "Stop apologizing" I nodded remorsefully with my head. "What's up?" I slowly started to tear up, I just thought of how horrible I was and I couldn't help. I didn't want her to feel bad for me, especially not after this. "Nothing, honestly it's nothing Julia" I said while trying to not crack. "No tell me" she said, so innocent, so sweet. "No no Julia stop it" I rushed "I'm horrible stop caring" I looked at both of my hands like I was evil. I felt so much guilt for not a good reason. "What on earth are you talking about?" She was so confused while trying to get in contact with me. "I'm so evil, so evil like the devil" I spoke and neither did I understand that. She was just looking at me like I was crazy. "My little finger is gone! It was probably Barnabas Julia...or did you eat it?" I mumbled in panic while shoving up my hands in her face, I felt so light and so dizzy. She moved my hands from her face, very confused but worried. She awaited little. "Y/n are you high?" she asked, trying to look into my eyes. "Are we gonna drink that blood Julia?" I asked her dead serious. "What the hell" she spoke for herself. "Y/n come here" she said and led me by my shoulders to my bed. "Sit down" she said, unsure of what to do with me. "What's wrong Julia? Is my father coming because...I know a place to hide" I whispered the last thing. "Juliaa" I out of nowhere started laughing.

"What have you taken dear" she talked to herself while investigating my eyes. "You dead high sweetheart" she said to me. "HIGH...like really high" I whispered while I made my way closer to her face. "Yea like really really high" she made sure. "Don't tell Julia...shhh...she can't know" I giggled. "Yea she won't know, you're so sneaky you see"

"I know" I giggle once again. "But seriously we have a big problem"

"I've noticed"

"Yea cause how is it when you say touch your lips won't touch but when you say separate they touch! It's like breaking the law, it's unbelievable"

She just looked completely scared for me, scared for her life. "Right..."

"It's like have no one ever thought about that before and if you get into the shower clean how does it com-"

"Okay Y/n I think it's enough, aren't you tired?" she tried.

"Tired!? Do you think I have time to be tired when I have to save the world?!" I yelled at her.

"But I'm feeling tired so I'm going to sleep" she said compassionating as she faked yawned and laid down. I just looked at her laying down in my bed. Soon enough I started to feel tired as well and laid myself beside her. It looked so cozy besides her and it truly was.