I don't need a doctor

~darkness~

Later that day Elizabeth had decided that all of us were gonna go into the town and we all crowded ourselves in the car. Elizabeth drove together with Barnabas and Vicky in the front and Julia, Carolyn, David and myself were pushed together in the back seat.

The drive felt like ages, especially as I was all pushed up against Julia.

While in town we all stood outside the old, fallen apart old company. Barnabas talked about the plans he had for the future successful company, Collin Canning Co.

It was chaos inside and a smell of rotten fish entered my lungs. I had to escape from the smell. I ran out to get some fresh air but the stank didn't leave. "Damn it" I said to myself. I walked to a bench beside an old antique shop and sat down. I could still sense the smell from far away since they opened that port and it was not beautiful, I think everyone near will suffer for the coming days.

I sat there a while until Carolyn came and joined me, "You having fun out here?"

"No not really, just needed to get away from that smell"

"Ugh feel you, anything new from Julia though?" She wondered.

"Nope, nothing yet"

"Oka-"

"Carolyn, I need you to help me with this one!" Elizabeth suddenly yelled from a far distance.

"Alright, back to work" she sighed and walked to her mother.

I was just about to go do something myself when I felt something weird inside me, a feeling of uncomfort and that smell that wasn't fish...Suddenly someone came up from behind, covering the both of my nose and mouth to keep me from screaming and dragged me into an old, abandoned shop right next to where I was standing. No one even seemed to notice I was being pulled away by a complete stranger, but that changed pretty quickly when his face was shown in front of me. My eyes widened with fear and I swallowed hard. "You dare come here after all, I'm not very happy with you, you know." A laugh from the devil himself "And you're gonna suffe-" he whispered in an evil voice but wasn't able to finish his sentence, he had to leave as a girl's voice was heard yelling my name.  He glanced one last time at me before he disappeared around the corner and poff he was gone.

"There you are Y/N, come and help me I don't wanna be alone"

"Yes yes sure Carolyn" I said while catching my breath. I stared at where he just for a second ago was standing. I stood there speechless, in shock before I finally catched up with Carolyn.

----

When we finally arrived home I only sat in my room for hours overthinking. He was back, he had been looking for me, and he said something right before Carolyn came but what was it? Horrible images and memories lived rent free in my head. Surrounded by overwhelming feelings, I tried to find someone sharp but every single one seemed to be gone. Who the fuck has been in my room?

A rush of panic shivered through my spine and it got hard to breath, like the air was thick or made of honey.

I made my way out of the manor into the late night air. The darkness was thick and you could barely see the streetlamps from the road. Considering the darkness, the full moon was lighting up what surrounded me. I sat with my back turned to the manor and just focused on my breathing. I was shivering sitting out there on the small plates that surrounded the pumpkinland. I don't know if the shivers was because I was cold or if my body related to my feelings.

"Y/n, are you out here?" I heard a familiar woman's voice speak in a calm tone after a while.

I didn't answer, I just froze, begging to god that she wouldn't see me but well.

"There you are, why are you sitting all alone out here, it's freezing" It was Julia. She shivered from the cold.

I shrugged my shoulders and just kept staring numb down at my feets.

"You okay?" she asked, trying to talk to me "no? What do you say about a therapy session?" she kept talking. I didn't answer.

"Come on" she said and gripped my arm "stand up". I did as she told me, no idea to even talk back. She helped me into the manor where the warm air met my cold skin. I didn't even realise how frozen I actually was. She walked me into her office and closed the door. Honestly I should get deja vu's more often now days with the thought of how many times I've been here.

We sat down as usual, in the same old patient bed and her old black whisky chair beside. A long silence filled the room.

"I don't wanna talk to you" I whispered.

"Listen, I don't want to fight with you Y/n. But did anything happen today? you seem a little... off"

Unbelievable, I'm so very tired of Julia's little games. One day she cares the other just nothing and then suddenly nothing for three days and poff she talks to me!

"Julia, just stop it. I'm very very tired right now and I'm tired of playing your little games. You did hurt me and I don't wanna speak to you, okay?"

Another silence filled her office again, it was like she wanted to tell me something but everytime she was about to open her mouth nothing came out.

"I was scared" A small whisper finally was heard in the room.

"How scared for you to possibly do something like this, if you know I'm hurt if you see something is wrong why didn't you do anything about it?" I confronted her, trying to push away the sadness in my voice. Honestly I wasn't thinking, this was my subconscious feelings talking.

"I'm sorry"

"Of course, it's always I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. Please Julia grow up for god's sake!"

Julia stayed quiet, she stayed still, not even a sip from the whiskey she was holding.

"You know I shared stuff with I'd thought I was gonna take with me to the grave, you know I really trusted and of every word you said to me, I even slept with you and you got 'scared'..."

"...I cried in your arms one time and the next day you think it's fine after not have been talking to me for days!?..."

"...You see Julia you left me in a horrible place and if it not was for Carolyn I would not be here today cause I have lost everything. I have nothing left and I mean nothing. I have nothing to live for and this world is just a big ass shithole"

She was absolutely speechless. I could see in the corner of my eyes her head made a regretting movement and somewhat tears filled her eyes. Was it too much?

I looked at her but not a word. Honestly I could feel the pain in her eyes. I was able to see she was truly sorry. She was hurt, only pain was shown.

Then I leaned back in the patient bed, staring up at the ceiling.

"I met James today..." I spoke after a long silence.