DIET MOUNTAIN DEW. dave grohl (1)

036

December 31st, 1990
PORTLAND OREGON

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I felt so sickened by myself. I looked down to see this random guy who I had no connection to hurt badly sitting next to the table I pushed him into. I felt like I wanted to cry... why did I do that? And why did Danielle run away so quickly? Was she scared of me.... nobody was saying anything. Everyone was dead silent looking at my crazy ass and seeing this guy staring at me like I was crazy. Danielle was gone, just gone. I had really scared her, and that's the last thing I wanted to do.

Fuck.

I walked backwards and spun around heading for the front door of the bar. I had to find her, and apologize. I ran down the sidewalk looking for any signs of her but couldn't find her. She must've taken a taxi or something. I prayed to god she'd be at the hotel... I just prayed. I walked the whole way home. I walked in silence. I walked thinking about how cold it was, and how much I hated myself. I was a terrible person, and Danielle always saw right passed that. I didn't deserve it.

Nobody was in the hotel lobby it seemed. They must've been gone for New Years. I looked to the clock to see it was almost 12. 11:40 to be exact. I had 20 minutes to find Dani and apologize so I could kiss her. I raced up to the hotel room and saw the door was still open a crack. I opened it softly and saw Danielle sitting on the bed, lights off, knees tucked to her chest, eyes fixated on the TV. I looked away with embarrassment. She didn't even turn to say anything.

"I.... I'm sorry—" I tried to say.

"Don't." She quickly snapped wiping some tears from her eyes. I felt so terrible. So bad, I didn't even know who I was anymore. Some jealous psychopath I'm sure. I was cautious to join her on the bed by sitting next to her. She didn't say anything so I guess I was okay.

"Can I just have a minute to explain?" I asked her with the littlest bit of nervousness in my tone. She sighed heavily and switched the TV off. Thank god.

"I just.... I saw some other guy giving you a drink. And I didn't know really what to do... it's just— I want to be the one buying you drinks. And I guess that took over. I know other people are allowed to buy you drinks.... I'm sorry. I guess I got a little jealous. Well.... a lot of jealous." I tried to word myself normally. But I still had the same tone. That same apologetic tone.

"But, Dave. If two people love each other like we do... there's no reason to be jealous. You've done more for me than that guy could ever do. You know that." She said. She was right, righter and right. I felt like an asshole.

"I know, and I'm sorry. I just love you so much, and whenever I see you with someone else. It scares me. It scares me that you're gonna leave me." I tried to explain.

"But, Dave, I love you. And if you know me you'd know that I'd never ever leave you. For anyone else, I wish you'd trust me." She said. I looked to her eyes and saw the amount of love she had for me. I was out of my mind if I thought she'd leave me for someone else. I knew her too well.

"You're right. I don't know how I can ever make this up to you. But, I just need to know that when I got jealous like that it came from somewhere good. Somewhere that wants me to be the only guy you love." I said.

"You already are the only guy I love," she sighed, "and I want to put this behind us. I don't want to get into a fight again. I just want to move on." She said. I looked to the clock. 11:59.... shit.

Quickly and slid both of my hands on either side of her face and bent down to kiss her. Then the clock ticked once more and it was now 1991. And it meant so much to me that now I've spent 2 years with this wonderful girl. And I didn't want to stop here.