DIET MOUNTAIN DEW. dave grohl (1)

042

March 5th, 1991
SEATTLE WASHINGTON

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"Are you ready?" Dave asked me. He had this whole plan to show me the house all set and stoned. I was lead into the house with a blind fold on like it was a game show. I hated not knowing what to think once I saw the house but I guess I'd have to.

"Okay. 3....2....1..." he untied the knot and the fabric that was covering my eyes was gone. And I was left in the middle of a bare living room. The walls were white, with a grey trim. The carpet was also grey and the lights were hung from the ceiling looking very modern. I fell in love with the house and spun around to see Dave looking concerned.

"I love it, Dave." I sighed at a loss for words. The admiration I had was out of this world. I locked my arms around his neck feeling the feeling I've always treasured. Dave returned the hug, really pulling me close to him. God, I was living with him now. Could my life be any better right now? I don't think so. I've never really lived with someone like this before and I was so ready to. I couldn't wait to wake up in a place I could call home and not have to rush to find another place to stay the next day. It was perfect.

"Wait. That's not even the best part. Look." Dave pulled me through the empty house and to the backyard. The kitchen had a door the slid to the left and brought you right out the the backyard. It was full of green grass, and a garden of flowers. It looked like some place out of a 50s TV show set. And I loved it.

"It's so beautiful, Dave." I sighed watching him lean against the doorframe watching me fan girl over.... flowers. He looked so perfect standing there. And it felt like the right time to bring what I've been keeping a secret up. Today was the day. I had to talk to him, or the secret would just stay with me my whole life and I'd regret it forever. I had to tell him. And soon. My conscience was getting to loud and overwhelming.

"So, I was thinking we could go furniture shopping today. And get a bunch of cool house stuff?" Dave read my mind easily. I nodded walking back over to him and standing on my tippy toes to kiss his lips.

"You always know what to say to make a girl happy, Dave." I complimented before walking back into the very bare kitchen. Not even a piece of lint was upon the house it was clean as a whistle. There was absolutely no furniture anywhere, so bare that my voice echoed. I spun around just falling in love with this beautiful house.

I felt two familiar arms wrap around my waist.

"I love you, Dani. And.... if there was one person I'd want to wake up next to every single day of every single year, it would be you." Dave started saying the most random... but cute things. I smiled leaning against him more.

"And I love you too, Dave. We're gonna make this work, okay? I promise...." I knew he was scared. So, very, very scared. But, I had to assure him that nothing bad could happen again. I couldn't let it, "and I want to talk to you about something. But.... you can't freak out. And you- you can't just push it away. Promise me, Dave." I said holding his hands in mine.

He looked very confused, "I promise, Dani. What it is?" He asked me with concern. I pulled him through the house and to the only area with a seat. We both sat down, me in front of him looking straight at him. I wanted the throw up, this was terrible. I wanted to sob, it was heartbreaking.

"S-so... I've been, um, thinking. I've been thinking a lot, Dave. About.... ya know," I paused not even wanting to think about it anymore, "it." I explained. Dave straightened his back and cleared his throat.

"Yeah?" He asked me with the slightest voice crack. I breathed out hard.

"And... I miss it. A lot, and I don't know if you do to. I couldn't ever place something like that on you. But, Dave," I held his hands again.

"Yeah." He urged me to go on. I fell sick thinking of it. I couldn't say this, but I had to. I couldn't bare thinking if he just didn't want the same thing. What would I do?

"I...." I could barely speak... "I want a f-family, Dave. I do..... and I couldn't ever ask that of you this quickly, and I never expect a response. But, I couldn't imagine living without having a baby, Dave. It's the only thing I really want..." I felt tears well up in my eyes. He bit his lip softly and looked away. I saw the gloss in his eyes.

"Dani.... you don't understand. There's nothing else I'd want to do than to have a family. With you especially. But.... I can't. I can't put you through that again and have it end up like last time. I could never take that chance again." Dave said. His words hit me like a bus. They were cold and the next thing I'd tell him would definitely end this whole thing....

"Dave..... I'm 2 months pregnant." I said the secret that I'd been keeping from everyone. Everyone. From Annie, Dave, my parents. No wonder I wanted a damn kid so bad, I was gonna have one. Well, hopefully. And it killed me knowing how much it scared Dave. But what else could I do. I found out just after he left for Los Angeles. And I didn't want to tell him on the phone.

He started at me. Blankly, stared. Not knowing what to do. He just stared. He opened his mouth once but didn't say anything. I felt sick at the sight. He really was speechless....