DIET MOUNTAIN DEW. dave grohl (1)

043

March 5th, 1991
SEATTLE WASHINGTON

-

"Dave?" After the silence became too much I decided to speak. He looked at me with his face just turning white. It was so white. Like he'd seen a ghost. Or he was the ghost.....

"Y-you're serious?" He finally spoke.

"Well... yeah." I answered back wiping some tears from my eyes. Dave slumped in his chair breathing out harshly. His hand covered his mouth from pure disbelief. I felt like an idiot for telling him... I wanted to leave.

"Dani. What... how are we...." he couldn't even speak his mind. I felt so terrible. I don't know how I let it happen again....

"I'm sorry, Dave. I- I should've told you sooner. But I just thought it would be better in person." I explained.

Moments of silence passed again. I couldn't even look Dave in the eyes. I was so scared, so confused. So.... petrified. I didn't know what to think. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say, or how to help him understand. I just didn't know. Before I knew it, I was trapped in a hug by Dave. I didn't expect it from him in the slightest. I thought he'd be distant from me.

But he hugged me. And hugged me tightly. I guess I had a bit of hope restored in that moment. I hugged him back very tightly and then he pulled away. Keeping eye contact. I saw his eyes get glossy....

"I love you, Dani. And.... we- we're gonna be just fine, alright? Don't you worry about it...." his words were soft. I forgot how much his words could change my mindset. In that moment, it felt as if everything was gonna be alright like he'd said. I nodded back at his words not knowing what else to say. He gently kissed my cheek and then softly pressed a kiss to my stomach. It made me feel like the butterflies were in my heart...

"We're gonna be fine...." he said once more. This time with a smile.

-

That night, we decided to lighten the mood. We went out to maybe 79 different stores ordering a bunch of shit we didn't need. Hoping to make this empty house into an okay one. We ended up bringing home a kitchen table, a bed and some blankets. Everything else was coming in the mail.

"Does anyone else know...." Dave asked sitting at the table with me. I looked up at him, "no, why?" I asked.

"I wanna tell everyone together. That's all. Hey, we're going to Tacoma on Friday..... should we tell them?" Dave asked. I could tell he was very excited to tell everyone. I shrugged my shoulders with a smile myself.

"Why not. I can't wait to tell my mom. She'll flip out. And Courtney too....." I said smiling. I hadn't seen Courtney in what felt like years. She wasn't as bad as people set her out to be... she was nothing but nice to me. Sure, she's a bit crazy. But that's only her personality.

"I wonder what's gonna happen...." Dave trailed off aimlessly. I looked to him with a little bit of confusion.

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know. Last time... was..... well, last time was sc-scary. I'm not sure what to expect." He spoke the truth.

"Me either. But.... I just— we'll have to wait and see." I shrugged. He nodded back not wanting to make the night any sadder. It was already 9:30 at night.

"I think I'm gonna head to bed, alright? I'm just real tired...." Dave said softly before heading up the stairs. I nodded keeping my eyes focused on my hands folded together. I didn't want to sleep right then and there. I stayed up awhile thinking. About stupid stuff.

What if it happens again?

What if I'm not a good mom?

What if something happens to the baby?

What if I'm... what if. What if and what if. I didn't know what else to ask myself. So, I soon went upstairs to where Dave was soundly sleeping and slipped in beside him trying to catch at least a little sleep.