Not my fault,My fate

Chapter Thirty-four

Theme:Communication

   🤕😷TANIA'S POV🏥🤒

  "Do you have feelings for me?!" I asked Adrian just to be very sure and know if its one-sided or not.

  "Well,that is a very specific question....." Adrian said.

   "And I need a specific answer".

  " But I just told you that I found out about your illness all on my own after everyone else here already knows and I was the only person left in the dark,don't you think I deserve some explanation?! "

  "That's not the answer to what I asked Adrian"

   "So my own question doesn't deserve an answer uhn??!" Adrian asked with so much desperation in his eyes.

   "Do you like me Adrian?" I said with a low frustrated tone that sounded like I won't repeat myself again.

   "Yes Tania! Yes! I have feelings for you okay..... I like you so much that I'm feeling hurt that I meant half of nothing to you that's why you kept your illness away from me.....Fine! You were scared to say it but I thought we started to share a bond,after the day at the river__ I couldn't deny it anymore that my feelings are real" Adrian said with a sad face.

   "I..... I.....wanted to tell you,but each time I summon the courage,I see you and her together and..... I just stay away and keep it to myself "

   "Me and her? Who's she?" Adrian asked bewildered.

   "Your girlfriend__ Bianca. You lied to me that you had no girlfriend but everyone in school except for me knows that you guys are dating..... Well I know now. You can't imagine how hurt I was when I was left in the dark and I got to know like everyone else.... That pain hit differently"

  "I'm sorry Tania..... But you really misunderstood things. I never lied to you..... I meant it when I said I had no girlfriend and Bianca..... We are not dating, we are just..... Uhm.... Let me say close friends which the school has misunderstood to be couples"

   "How do you want me to believe that? You guys are way close and ...... And..... She's always around you"

   "I never told anyone this but__ Bianca begged me to always stay around her. She's kinda lonely and drawing attention to herself makes her feel somewhat happy"

    "Lonely? She has everything I ever wished for.... How's that being lonely? "

  "You might see people around her every time but it can get pretty lonely when it comes to confiding in a person or talking to someone,having a real company...... You know. She's not all Queen Bee as you see her,she's got a soft spot too and that's where I came in,we never dated" Adrian explained.

   "So..... You never lied??!! "

   "I never did..... I wouldn't lie to you,no no" Adrian said.

  "I feel pretty stupid now 😅....... I hated you so much thinking you lied to me,I always felt you were messing with me,probably you were a playboy. I'm so sorry..... I'm ....."

   "Its fine!"

"No its not fine,I'm really sorry..... And my illness,to be very honest I was scared__ what if you didn't like me anymore or didn't want to have anything to do with me anymore cos of my condition"

   "I would never leave despite the condition, I'm ready to stay..... I'm going nowhere"

  "Whoa! You'd stay with me?! After knowing all that's wrong"

  "Cmon..... Nothing's wrong,you'd be back on your feet soon".

   And that was how Adrian and I dived into lots of conversation. We talked about everything that seemed so heavy to say and so did he. Talking to him now made me realize that sometimes all we need is to 'talk'. Learn to communicate and say those bottled up feelings,those hurting words,the grudge.... Just let it all out,who knows the story in your head about the whole scene might be actually different from what truly happened.

 
  
     Adrian and I talked till midnight and when his eyes were so heavy, I adjusted on the bed and told him to climb on. He was hesitant at first but I persuaded him and he agreed and he cuddled me tight under the warm blanket and we had a lovely night rest.

  🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥🏥

It was another day in the hospital,i slept so well in Adrian's arm last night. My parents were already here and so was Adrian,he already stopped going to school and concluded he'll make up for his grades in summer school.

I had my haircut today and yes! I was officially bald. If you wanna know how I looked,like the way every bald person would look. I don't miss my hair that much,it got so scanty that I got frightened just looking at it. I wore a head warmer just not to look completely weird and I still needed lots of rest.

  It wasn't easy,living with cancer and struggling with my teen life, it hasn't been cool or fun. I really need a makeover but no rush tho...... I believe in miracles.

  After everyone left the ward,someone opened the door to enter my room and guess who it was:

     " Am I welcome in?!"

  " You are already in..... "

   "Tania, I know I haven't been a good brother  to my little sister lately .👸 But can you forgive me.......pls"

"I should forgive you ???