Not my fault,My fate

Chapter Twenty-one

Theme: Missing Bracelet

  🌹😖  TANIA'S POV😖🌹

   While growing up and taking a look of who I've become and where I'm headed which is still blurry in my head cos of my health condition,I feel like there's no one in the world with a worse fate as mine.

   I've lived a very sad life and drawn the conclusion so many times that life ain't worth living and since I have so many problems,probably killing myself was the best shot.

   But now,here I am listening to Adrian's story and I must say,he lived a really sad life while growing. I can't imagine your parents fighting everyday in front of you,creating hatred within and giving poison to your thoughts. Then you have to live under the same roof with the same man that beats your mum and have to take in all of his shii. That type of life is filled with pain,remorse and yeah!!...... They created a damaged child.

   What of Hailey?! She wears headsets that aren't working because everyone treats her like she's invisible so she calms her nerves by pretending she's listening to music so it seems like she's not seeing them. That's way hurtful! And I know she has more that she's not telling me, but I hope she will one day.

   As I start to wonder about these people who struggle to smile even with the scars, there's this thought in my head......."Did I make a mistake by having suicide thoughts??"

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   "Mum came back for me as promised but......I did not wanna go"

   "Why??!" I asked wondering why he made such a mistake, well I have to listen to know if it was a mistake or not.

   "Well you can tell.......... I thought if mum brought another man's child to her new husband's house,it might cause trouble. I thought probably the whole scenario that happened with Dad because of my sister would repeat itself. I love my mum way too much and I did not want to ever be the cause of her unhappiness....   Especially not in her new marriage,she deserves to be happy.

   So I stayed back and put on a happy look for mum. But deep down within me, I did not want to stay. The thought of not been able to leave and just stay with my Dad was scary, I cried every night as I remembered how I didn't leave with mum. Living with my Dad was pure torture,he made me his scapegoat and all the bottled up feelings that he held against my mum were all unleashed on me.

   He made life a living hell for me and took advantage of the fact that I was little and could not fight back. I grew up with so much hatred for him,the only thing keeping us together is that roof we both live under. Once I gather enough to rent an apartment, I'm moving out cos all ties are lost".

  "Wow,it baffles me that you lived like that as a child............ What of mum? Do you get to hear from her?"

    "Yeah I do, she calls at every free time she gets and she's always asking if I'm fine,I tell her I'm fine......I don't wanna bother her with my ish😅"

   "You should stop having the thought that you bother people,besides she's your mum,telling her about what's going on with you is more or less making her a part of your life and it's not called bothering. She's your mother and she deserves to know". Wow see me preaching what I don't practice!

   " I get it........" He sighs like there was more to say.

   "Go on............"

  "My mum sends me a bicycle every year on my birthday,she has been doing that since she got separated from my Dad and that's a long time ago. A note used to come along with the bicycles and it was always the same thing on em__ Ɩɛąrŋ ɬơ rıɖɛ ąʂ ʄąʂɬ ąʂ ყơų ƈąŋ ąŋɖ ῳɧɛŋ ყơų ƈąŋ'ɬ ℘ųɬ ų℘ ῳıɬɧ ąƖƖ ơʄ ɬɧıʂ ąŋყɱơrɛ,rıɖɛ ʄąʂɬ ɬơ ɱơɬɧɛr."

   "Wow,that means she knows,she knows you are going through a lot and would have to run into her arms when you can't take it anymore,that's why she sends you a bicycle every year so your speed in riding can increase...... That's so thoughtful of mum" I said as I was starting to like Adrian's mum.

    "Yeah Mum was thoughtful and pretty smart, she sends her home address along with the notes every year,last year's address was different, I think she moved out with her husband"

   "You must really miss her?!"

   "I miss her every day and every single time,she was all I could ask for"

    "You have to see her__ visiting your mum won't hurt you,you can't keep taking your Dad's excess shii. No one deserves a father like him".

   " Everything will be over soon"

  "What of your sister,what was she like?"

  "Ivy DiCaprio.......... The baddest girl on the block" He smiled as he said that,she seemed pretty interesting.

   "I like her already 🤗🤗"

   "I bet you do, She was an interesting person,full of mischief and naughty acts. She made me come out of my shell,she used to beat up older kids that bullied me and she would steal the last chocolate in the store just for me. She got arrested a couple times and she made childhood cool for me. When she got pregnant,I was kinda lonely cos she just stayed indoor like a fat milking cow".

   I listened to how cool Adrian's sister was and she sounds pretty amazing. His mum is a lovely person too. I can't wait to meet with this two people.

  
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   Adrian stood up and wore his shirt then he took me by the hands and said we were going somewhere. I was really excited and couldn't wait to see this place.

    We got to an old abandoned building and as we had to climb the stairs,we did it together and got to the top of the roof. The sight of the place was beautiful,I could see the busy part of town from way up on the roof.

   " its beautiful!!"

  "Yes it is,Ivy and I discovered this place a long time ago and its still the same"

  As we stared at the pretty view on the rooftop,we talked about lots of stuffs and I started to sense a feeling of trust,I thought of probably opening up to Adrian about my illness. And there it was,I was about to drop the bomb when  Adrian started staring at my wrist awkwardly, did he lose something?

   "Where's your bracelet? I thought you wear it all the time".

   I looked at my wrist and couldn't find my bracelet on it,OMG!!! I started to freak out,where could the twin sister bracelet be???!!