H&J Lockdown

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Weighing 6 pounds 10 ounces with a tiny dimple in her cheek, pouty lips and tons of dark blonde hair, Baby J was finally here.

It felt like I was in labor forever but mostly because time moved so slow until I got a epidural. The pain was unlike anything I had experienced before and I couldn't relax because I knew in a couple of minutes another contraction would hit me again.

I kept my composure during all of it for the most part but if Hero had a couple broken bones in his hands after it all, I couldn't be blamed. 

When the epidural started working I was able to relax until it was time to push. The nurses came in on the hour every hour making it hard to sleep and by the time I was fully dilated it was two in the morning. I was exhausted but Hero was full of energy and talked me through the whole thing, never leaving my side.

The delivery was fast, she came only after a couple of pushes. Once she was out they placed her tiny screaming body on my stomach while the doctor instructed Hero how to cut the umbilical cord.

After both me and baby J were taken care of we were left alone with her for few minutes until they took her and Hero away to give her a bath. 

When they were done they returned to our room and a nurse taught me how to feed her properly. Once i got her to latch and she was finished eating she offered to take her back to the nursery for the night so we could get some sleep but Hero instantly declined.

"I don't know what to call you besides Baby J." Hero whispers to her as he takes her out of my arms when the nurse leaves us alone. "You look like a swollen, smaller version of your mum. Exactly what I hoped for."

"We could just say we were expressing our creative side and name her that." I tell him with a smile, knowing he hates that his parents did that to him.

"Or we could just name her John." He smarts back coming over and leaning down to kiss me turning serious. "I love you both so much, I didn't know I would feel like this. Thank you."

Uncontrollable tears stream down my face and I nod, knowing exactly how he is feeling but unable to express it because my heart is so full and I'm so overcome with emotion.  

"I know baby." He says wiping away my tears with his free hand, understanding how I am.  "I'm going to rock her for a while while you sleep." 

I kiss his hand as he pulls away, he lets me kiss baby J then takes her to the rocker in the corner of the room.   I continue to cry happy tears for a few more minutes silently, until I finally fall asleep- my heart fuller then ever before.