H&J Lockdown

74

As soon as we landed in LA I could tell I never should have left London. Traveling alone was hard and confusing. Traveling alone with a baby was so much more frustrating.

We arrived at our hotel after midnight and my first job was early the next day so I only had time to text Hero, letting him know we were safe before trying to get some sleep. But Baby J had other plans, deciding she already slept enough on the plane and instead wanted all of my attention all night so in turn I only got a couple hours of sleep.

I was late to my call time the next day, starting my day off on the wrong foot. Then the nanny my team hired met us on set but not even a hour in I could tell she was inexperienced. Every time the baby cried or needed something she would bring her to me, instead of trying to sooth her or take care of her so my short work day turned into a all day event.

The rest of the week went more or less the same except we were able to get on a sleeping schedule a couple days in. My team replaced the nanny with someone more experienced towards the end of the week i liked and even trusted enough to leave Baby J with while I went to a event one night.

Hero didn't want me to leave her with the nanny but with him not here I didn't have much of a choice. I hadn't been to a event in almost two years and him not wanting me to go made me want to go even more, just to be defiant.

I always watch as he goes to things, seeing his pictures all over social media. Me, on the other hand, always gave up these things to be where he was or i was busy working.

Normally I wouldn't care. I dont like the spotlight or the attention but after everything that happened last year i wanted a night out. A night to make connections and bring back some normalcy in my life.

So i went. I dressed out of the box for the event, opting out of wearing a fancy dress and going with a 90s casual look instead. I only stayed a couple hours and was forced to take pictures so i knew it would only be a matter of time before Hero found out.