H&J Lockdown

23

After two cancelled flights, multiple fights between Hero and I, a week later I was officially back in America. The last place I wanted to be.

Because I had so many shoots and things lined up for promo for our movie my team and the production company wouldn't budge on me staying in London like Hero. Some of his was planned around him being in London before hand and getting him approved to travel to America for work was harder then it was for me, for whatever reason.

Before I left we had dinner with his mum, broke the news to her and gave her the envelope for safe keeping. We were going to have a gender reveal when things died down and I could go back. She took the news way better then my parents would and I could tell she was genuinely excited for us. 

I was on my own for the first time in months, well except of course for the fact that I was staying with one of our friends and could rely on her and her family. But away from Hero for the first time in months and although it was nice to get back to work, my heart wasn't really in it.

We were face timing each other constantly when we had down time so even though I couldn't physically be there with him it helped.

My morning sickness kicked in again full force at night, making it so I couldn't hold down most food and causing me not to gain weight or show still. The only thing growing seemed to be my boobs.

Yesterday I was working all day and t Hero seemed to be being supportive. He was nervous about me being around strangers but we weren't super careful around his friends or the friends they brought home so he agreed to let me do my thing as long as I took all necessary precautions.

Today I haven't been able to reach him and when I called his friend after hours passed to see if he knew where he was he blew me off and I could tell he was lying to me when he told me he hadn't talked to him.

After hours of trying this morning I finally had enough, figuring he was just mad about me working again and gave up. I had a exciting shoot in the afternoon and I wasn't letting him or anyone ruin it for me. Especially when he didn't apply the same rules for his social and work life as he did for me because I was pregnant.

I understood his concern and shared it to some degree but this was our new normal and both of us had to adjust. Our careers were very important to us and i couldn't let everything I worked for suffer because of the virus or because I was having a baby when I had the opportunity to work safely, just like him.

Him ignoring me only made my anxiety about being alone worse and I had a very important day coming up that I wouldn't be with him for so it upset me to think we would just be fighting until I could return to London.

I turned my phone off and stuffed it in my purse to be forgotten during my shoot. 

Deciding to try something new I go full out on the shoot, making it my sexiest one yet and so different from the modest ones I normally do.

After we finish the photographer goes over a few of the pictures with me that he is going to post tonight. I am extremely pleased when I see how sexy they turned out and secretly feel happy knowing even though Hero is ignoring me, that he will see them everywhere once they are posted by the photographer...