Over The Seas [Kim Sunwoo The Boyz]

Chapter Fifty-Six

Areum had texted Sewoon to come over; she knew it would be best if he was here too.

"What do you mean you saw him again?" Sewoon asked as he walked in the living room where I had stationed myself after Areum forced me off my bed.
"I saw Sunwoo at work today." I reiterated.
I told them what happened at work and made sure not to leave any details out for Sewoon.

They didn't say much after I finished. I'm sure they're letting it process in their minds before asking their questions.
"So, how are you feeling?" Areum first asked.
"I'm not entirely sure."
"It's simple! Are you happy to see him or not?" Sewoon bursted out. Areum poked him in the ribs with her elbow after his comment.
"I don't know. It all happened so fast and too many thoughts are running in my mind right now." I took in a few breathes to calm myself. "I thought that if we ever saw each other again, it would be on the street and only for a few seconds but now I know that I'll be in the same building as him."

I examined their faces: Sewoon was clearly hiding a grin while Areum had a look of worry and concern.
"This could be a good thing, you know."
I asked Sewoon to explain.
"If it really means something, then maybe you guys are meant to meet now. Maybe he might still have feelings."
"Sewoon!" Areum shouted angrily. "Be more sensible!"
"I'm just saying!" He argued.

The thought of Sunwoo still having feelings for me pierced my heart. I don't think it's something I would like to think about right now.
"It's been years– I don't think those feelings could still be there." I reasoned. I'm confident his feelings are gone and mine should be too, right?

Areum stops Sewoon from asking more questions before he says something worse.
"It's okay." I interrupt. "I understand that you were friends with him and you're excited he's back."
Areum sits back in her seat. "So do you know what you're going to do?"
I told her what I had already concluded. "Since I'll only be seeing him at my place of work, I'll remain professional. I don't think I'll be seeing him anymore, though. There's really no need for this to become a big deal."

They don't ask anymore questions so I tell them I'll be fine and thank them for their support. Since Sewoon was here, I thought we could all watch a movie and have dinner together at the apartment.

. . .

Today is my day off from work. Since I've been busy after school, I haven't had enough time to do my school work. Once my last class was finished for the day, I immediately headed to the library.

Heavily immersed in my work, I paid no attention to the time. When I finally took a break, I realized I've been working 3 hours straight.
I thought time flies by when you're having fun not suffering from homework.
I took this time to stretch.
"Oh– Riyae!"
I froze mid-stretch as I turned my head to a voice calling my name.
"Hey, Jonghoon." I greet him with a smile.
"Is it okay if I sit here?" Jonghoon asks as he walks to a chair across from me. I nod and offer him to take a seat.
"My afternoons have been getting pretty lonely without you here helping me." Jonghoon said.
"I know. I'm sorry that I've been so busy with work."
"I'm totally joking with you but I appreciate it." He chuckles.
"Are you here to study?"
He nods. "I have a quiz coming up soon."
I let him do his thing while I work on mine.

I did notice an awkward atmosphere around us. It has been a few days since we hung out alone. I think Jonghoon felt this way too when he asked me about work to spark conversation.
"It's going well. Not much to report on." I reply.
"Well that's still good. Better than being miserable, right?"
"I did make a coworker-friend already. Her name is Shin Yeojin." I add.
"That's really cool. I'm glad to see you happy. Since I'm the one who found the internship, I'd feel guilty if something bad happened." He awkwardly added.

Then I remembered about what happened earlier in the week. I never told Jonghoon about Sunwoo, mainly because I never found the right time. It's not like I could just tell him anyways. Plus, I already deemed it not a big deal. Though at the same time I can't handle lying to Jonghoon. We've been friends for so long and I usually tell him everything. I just really don't want to make this a big situation.

"What's wrong?" Jonghoon asks as I debated with myself if I should tell him or not.
"I just don't want this to burden you."
He furrows his eyebrows and looks at me with eyes full of affection. "You could never burden me."
I stare intently into his eyes. I decide to tell him.
"It involves having to tell you a secret of mine– a secret that I've kept from you all these years."
I could tell he became intrigued.
"So last week, I found out that my ex is working at the same company as me."
"Is he one of your co-workers?" He asked.
"Technically, no."

To feed Jonghoon's curiosity, I tell him all about Sunwoo and our relationship. I begin from our first meeting, to going into depth about our friendship, to us dating in secret, and finally ending at the breakup.

"So, you mean to tell me you really dated a kpop idol? And only in the first year living here?"
"Yeah..."
"And now, four years later, you're working at same entertainment company?"
"Yeah..."
"Wow, that is a lot." Jonghoon says sympathetically. "I had no idea you were even in a relationship that first year."
"That was kinda the point." I chuckled. "I was also pretty hung up on him for the next two years after that."
"He sounds like someone special." He says in what sounded like a despairing tone.
"It's just awkward seeing him again after all this year time." I admitted.
"How did it happen?"
"I hit him with a door on accident."
He tried not to laugh. "I'm sorry but I'm also not surprised."
I took a little offense. "Do I usually hit people with doors?"
"No, of course not but-" He said as he still tried to fight against the laughter. "You always find ways to make things more interesting."
"I don't know if that's supposed to be a good or bad thing but I'm just going to let it go for now." I say while I, too, fight the urge to laugh.

Once we both calm down, Jonghoon continued the conversation.
"Is it awkward because there are some unresolved things between you two?"

I still haven't figured out how I feel about meeting Sunwoo again. I have sides of me wanting to feel nothing. I lost feelings for him a long time ago and there's no need to even pay attention to this. But I have another that wants me to feel everything. Sunwoo could still have feelings for me and seeing him again could ignite them in me. I thought I didn't want that but this side tells me that I do.

Without coming to a conclusion, I lie and say, "No, there shouldn't be anything left between us."
Jonghoon seemed relieved. "Since there's nothing to really worry about and you guys are pretty much on good terms, there's no need for it to be awkward, right?"
"Right." I agreed and thanked him for his advice. I quickly finished my work so I could get home soon; I left before Jonghoon could offer to walk me home.

I walked in the apartment and went straight to my room. I sat at my desk with my hands placed on my forehead

Why did I lie? I know I'm still confused about it all and I'm not completely sure if I even have feelings for Sunwoo right now. I don't want them but it feels like they might appear. There's no need for me to lie to Jonghoon. It's not like it'll affect him in any way. 

I tried to find any reason as to why I didn't tell Jonghoon the truth. Did my brain just force an answer out of me? I know that he would understand if I was uncertain– he's a good friend like that.

I let the thought go for now; I'm too tired to figure out an answer right now. I get ready for bed early so I get a good night's sleep. I have work in the morning.