Over The Seas [Kim Sunwoo The Boyz]

Ch. Thirteen

A few days had passed after my last conversation with Sunwoo.

I regret most of it.

It wasn't like a serious argument but I think I hurt his feelings...

I didn't think he'd care that much about me since I'm his friend's younger sister. We don't know each other that well and we barely hang out. It would've been nice to be closer with him but it's not like I really have a chance with a kpop star.

I should still talk to him though.

                       ~Later that day~
After school, Sewoon and I planned to go to the arcade. I haven't really been anywhere in the city so it's nice to explore with someone besides my brother and his friends.
I still have to meet Jihoon at his school so he knows that I'm safe and whatnot. It'll give me a chance to talk to Sunwoo.

Sewoon and I start to walk to Hanlim and I couldn't help but think about the recent events that occurred.

I don't even know what I'm supposed to say. I'm not good at apologizing really...

"Hey, are you okay? You've been distant all day." Sewoon broke the silence as we get closer to towards the school.

"Yeah, I just have something on my mind recently." I responded, hoping he wouldn't ask anymore questions.

"Do you want to talk about it or no?" He asked curiously.
I had to think about it a second. I've grown  to trust him in the past few days but I'm not sure if I'm ready to tell someone about these weird and random feelings I have.

I closed my eyes as I took a big sigh.
"I have feelings for this one guy and I know that he doesn't feel the same. We had a conversation a while back and I said some stupid things that I regret telling him." I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my chest as I finished the sentence.

Sewoon just looks at me with wide eyes as if it's impossible for someone like me to have a crush, let alone actual feelings.
"Wow," he says. "I'm sorry that happened to you. Seems like a big deal if you've had your mind on it for a while now...How are you doing, though?"

It was nice if him to seem so caring. We're not the type of people to really share about our emotions so he had a good reaction. He actually sounds concerned for me.
"I actually don't think it's that big of a deal since I was just being dumb and I wasn't thinking of my words. This is something I can easily fix, it's just that I haven't seen him recently. And since it's been some time since we've had that last conversation, it'll be hard for me to apologize sincerely." I take another deep breath, really concentrating on my emotions.

I can tell that Sewoon doesn't really know how to comfort me. He's already an awkward person so I can imagine how he's feeling in this situation.
"It's okay though," I pat him in the shoulder and give him a smile, hoping that he can tell that I'm trying to ease the mood a bit so it doesn't become all quiet.
"I think I'm about to see him so I can talk to him now and it'll be all over."

He smiled back at me and said, "I'm glad you're having a positive viewpoint on it. I'll be supporting you from a distance."

We finally arrive at the school and I walk up to my brother and the other guys.
"Hey, Jihoon." I say quickly so that I can head over to talk to Sunwoo.
Jihoon turns to me and just waves at me.
I don't think much of it- maybe he's just in a bad mood or simply tired.

I look at Sewoon to gesture that I'm going to talk to Sunwoo. He gives me two thumbs up and a genuine smile.

Sunwoo was sitting on the stairs just looking down at his phone. Luckily, the other guys are talking to their other friends so he's alone. I awkwardly walk up to him, feeling more and more nervous.
I sit next to him on the steps and he slowly lifts his head up and looks straight ahead.
I don't know what's going on and it's making me a little nauseous. Like I said, I'm not good at apologizing.
He finally looks at me with a calm face. He opens his mouth to say something to me but then looks away.
I finally decided to just talk since it was already getting awkward.

"I'm sorry." I blurt out. He looks at me again, with the same look.
"For what?" He asks me, as if he's completely forgotten our situation.
"I'm sorry for what I said in our last conversation." I couldn't maintain eye contact with him anymore. I felt ashamed and his looks weren't helping.
"It's fine. I get you were just tired and needed sleep. Girls are always moody so I understand why you said what you said."
I didn't really expect this reaction from him. He sounded angry that night...
"But I still shouldn't have said that. I hope you know I didn't mean it; I enjoy hanging out with you and the group, it's just that I felt really left out and you're all older than me so I felt like I didn't belong anymore."
Sunwoo looks at me with caring eyes.
"I understand that. This is still a new place to you and you feel uncomfortable at times. We haven't been doing such a great job and making you feel at home sometimes so that's on us, but more on me."
I was about to interrupt him but he quickly motions me to let him finish.
"I know that's not exactly my responsibility but I've been getting to know you more and more so I feel like I should be doing that for you. I'm closest to you at age than the other guys so it would make sense if I was the one to help with getting more comfortable with this city. Now, I know you've been making friends at school and they're capable of showing you around and stuff and that's okay. If you feel more comfortable with them, I'll be fine with that. I just want to tell you that..." He pauses for a second to catch his breath,
"I want you to know that I'm here for you. Whatever you need, whenever, I'll be here. Well not exactly here but you know what I mean."
We both let out a slight chuckle. As I processed what he said, I started thinking about my feelings. He really doesn't seem like he's interested at all, he just wants to be friends. It disappoints me a bit but we haven't been getting to know each other that much, just one on one, so I don't think I should expect much yet.
I look over at Sewoon and I see that he's just standing there, looking around very awkward and I can't help but feel bad for him.
I look back to Sunwoo and I still can't help but feel sorry.
"I'm glad you feel that way," I gave him a smile to show sincerity. "I should still be careful with my words. I don't mean to hurt you in any way so I apologize in advanced if I ever do."
He pays me on the back and says," I've grown to have a lot of patience. When you're living with eleven others boys and always with them, it's something you have to have."
We both laugh and it feels heartwarming. I'm so happy to finally be at a good place with Sunwoo. But I'm still confused about my feelings.

We both get up at the same time. I tell him that Sewoon is waiting for me to go to the arcade so I had to go. Sunwoo looks at me with a strange look.
"What's wrong?" I ask him.
"Nothing, it's just that I never imagined you hanging out with a guy like that."

Guy like that ??? What does he mean but that?

I laugh and tell him,"He's actually a pretty cool dude. He's the one who helped me get out of my comfort zone at school and he makes me feel better when I'm sad and stuff. We haven't had an actual hangout so today's the first."
Sunwoo still looks at me with that strange look. Then he looks down for a second and seems a little upset.
He looks back up at me and says,"I'm glad you have a friend at school who's willing to help you. If you say he's a cool dude, then he must be."
I wave at Sunwoo and say goodbye. I had a sudden instinct to hug him but I didn't know how he'd feel about it.
He smiled at me once more and was starting to walking away.

Should I hug him? Will it be weird if I did?

I reach for his hand and I quickly gave him a hug. I didn't do it too tightly but enough to show that I was happy with our conversation. I smiled at him once again and walk away.

I didn't get to see his reaction but I know Sewoon did. I'll just ask him but not now.
I got really flustered with the hug and I didn't feel like talking about it because I know I'd get all giggly and whatnot. Having feelings is dumb, honestly...

I go up to my brother and tell him that I'm heading with Sewoon to an arcade.
"Just get home on time and be safe."
I assured him I will and Sewoon and I start walking away from the school.