Over The Seas [Kim Sunwoo The Boyz]

Ch. Twenty-Seven

"I like you."
. . .
Sunwoo stares at me, eyes wide open in shock.
"Wait, what?"
"Yeah, I said it. I have feelings for you."
At this point, I didn't care what came out of my mouth. All I know is that it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my chest.
"Don't worry, I'm only saying this so it'll be easier for me to move on."
Sunwoo's eyes lighten up as I had confessed my feelings.
"You-you actually like me?"
"Yeah." I said feeling embarrassed, even a bit ashamed.
I could tell that Sunwoo was left speechless.
"But I don't want to anymore."
"Why?" He asked eager to know my reasoning.
I let out a harsh breath.
"I don't know if you've noticed, but you're literally a kpop idol. What chance do I have? You're way out of my league; there's just no point in trying anymore."
He tried to speak but I quickly cut him off.
"You know, everyone's been telling me that you like me. For a second there, I actually started believing it. How dumb of me, right?"
"But-" I cut him off again. I didn't need to hear anymore of his excuses.
"It's always been the same for me when it comes to feelings and crap, so don't feel sorry." I walk by past him and head to the door to go back inside.
Completely ignoring everyone in the living room, I make my way upstairs to my room to be alone.

I lay down on my bed and stare at the empty and dark ceiling.
Not being able to push down my thoughts for long, I began to process what had just happened.
I can't believe I just said all of those things to him...What was I thinking?? I wasn't even thinking at all!
I took a deep sigh to calm myself down and to think more effectively.
Why is it always the same with love? The first time I decide to try again, it all blows up in my face. Why did I have to like Sunwoo? Out of thousands and thousands of people here, why him?
My anger and frustration slowly turned into pain and tears. I layed there in my dark room, alone with my thoughts. Of course things weren't going to be any different this time.

NEXT DAY
I woke up feeling more tired than ever. I immediately fell asleep after the tears had stopped streaming down my face last night. Slowly remembering all that had happened, I felt almost miserable and uneager to move.
Today was the day we were supposed to start prepping our stuff for our holiday trip. Knowing how important it was, I very slowly got out of bed and did my morning routine to start the day. I then sat at my desk to make a list of everything I needed to bring with me.
It was a good distraction from everything; I never thought writing a list would be good for me.
I could really use these next few weeks to forget about everything. Hopefully Sunwoo will be able to forget about everything and just go his own way.
The I suddenly remembered that he was actually graduating in about two months.
Even better.

Once I had finished my long list, I had felt my stomach rumble. I decided to go downstairs to make some quick ramen and stay in my room while my parents were at work and Jihoon alone in his room, as per usual.
Hopefully we'll have some more quality family time next week; I think we'll all be needing it.
As I was eating my ramen on my desk in my room alone, my mind constantly circles back to last night. How much longer can I handle this?
I suddenly had an idea that I wish I had thought of before. I grabbed my phone and opened my contacts. I called Sewoon knowing he'll be there to listen to me.
The phone rang and he answered.
"Hello?"

"Hey, Sewoon."

"You okay? What's up?"

"I'm fine, just needed someone to talk to right now."

"Well you called the right person."
I actually laughed a bit, for the first time since yesterday.
I explained to him all the occurred yesterday night. It hurt a bit to have to explain the whole conversation with Sunwoo in full detail. All the emotions came running back: the anger, the disappointment, all of it. I didn't think it had affected me this bad. Makes sense though, I'm always the one hurting.

"You finally confessed your feelings for Sunwoo! After all this time?!"

"Yes, but that's not the point."

"But it's still an achievement that you were able to tell him to his face."

"Sure, but I only told him so it'll be easier to get over him. I'm sure he'll ignore me now so."
There was a moment of silence from Sewoon's end, followed by a sigh.

"You think it'll really be that easy?"

"Why shouldn't it be?"

"You naive, naive girl. I'm sure you of all people would know that you don't just get over someone like that."
He's not wrong, I've always had a hard time losing my feelings for a guy. It'd take months to years...

"I gotta start somewhere, right?"

"Just don't frustrate on yourself. Go at your own pace if this is really what you want. Ultimately, it's your choice in how you want to deal with this."

"Thanks, Sewoon. You're a great friend."

"Again, what would you do with out me?"
We laughed and continued to talk about other stuff on our minds.

SATURDAY
Today's the day we leave for our trip. I finally get to meet my extended family and get to spend time with them. It'll be a good distraction, hopefully. I definitely need a break from...life.
It was barely morning when we woke up and got our stuff ready. My grandparents didn't live too far- just on the outskirts of the city. We made our way and arrived in less than an hour.
Hopefully everyone will be accepting of me. These people have never technically met me before so I know it'll be awkward for everyone. Jesus take the wheel

We slowly walked to the door, feeling more and more anxious. My mom knocked on the door and we were greeted by my aunt.
"They're here! They're here!"
She yelled out and everyone came running to the entrance. They all warmly welcomed me inside and kept on asking if I was okay, if the ride wasn't too long, if I had eaten, etc- though I did noticed them all talking slowly and focusing on their pronunciation as if I couldn't fully understand them.
I don't blame them for thinking I can't speak fluent Korean- I've only been here for about 6 months.
To save them some time and effort, I respond back fluently.
They all seemed a bit shocked, yet relieved.
"Wow, you're a fast learner, aren't you!"
After greeting everyone politely, my parents told me to hang out with Jihoon and my cousins so the adults could do their catching up.
This turned out a lot better than I had thought. What a perfect escape...