Finding Us!

Distance

Jake pov~

A dull ache.

I've been feeling a dull ache, for a few days now. It's not prominent, neither hurtful just persistent. Coincidentally, it started happening the night after Mariah, left.

She left.

It's been 5 days since I've seen Mariah. Or heard her for the matter of fact.

The way things have turned out, only left me extremely guilty and unexplainably at unease. I haven't ever felt this guilty before but, I did felt at unease.

3 years ago, to be precise.

~flashback~

"What is it baby?.... What does it say?"

She asked looking at me hopefully, as her eyes glued onto to me. They were, big, bright, lifeless yet, hopeful. And I finally averted my gaze, as I couldn't look in her eyes anymore.

My hands shook violently and so did my body in, utter fear and sadness.

Their were a flood of thoughts in my head yet, not a single word to utter. I felt helpless, hopeless and out of control, as if I didn't have any significance. As if... I never had any.

"Jake! What does it say?" She asked again, louder this time and I still couldn't muster enough courage to look at her.

I was so vulnerable at the moment that, I would shatter any moment. The paper in my hand, concluded the only thing, that I've feared & prayed at nights to be false. Yet, it was there.

To eat me alive.

She finally got up from the bed and started walking towards me. I didn't wanted her to have it, see it so, I took a step back but, she reached out and snatched it out of my hands. I was stunned and couldn't say anything as, a lump started to form in the back of my throat.

I looked at her, as she read the piece of paper in her hand and slowly her eyes, lost it's brightness and closed down. Just to release a tiny drop of tear, that trailed down her eyes.

And that was it.

I shattered.

Falling on my knees to the ground, I lowered my head, closer to myself and sat their defeated. I wept and wept endlessly, as I cried at the helplessness I felt. Through tears stained eyes, I looked at her as, she sat on the bed in complete shock. I tried to look at her as long as possible. Trying to memorize every feature on it.

And finally I reached out my hand for her, to take so, I could touch her.

But, she whispered.

"It's positive."

~~~~~

I sighed at the memory and finally decided to call her.

I picked up my phone and searched for her number but, when I found it, I wasn't able to make myself to call it. I contemplated over the situation for a long minute and switched off the phone.

It's useless.

I engrossed myself in my work again but, the incessant thought of her wasn't going anytime soon.

So finally... I called her father.

I waited to the call to be picked up and by the third ring, I heard a voice.

"Jake! How are you?" He chirped.

"Hello sir, I'm good." I said, trying to soften my voice, evidently. "How are you?",

"Oh! I'm great. Also, call me dad. Not sir." He said, chuckling.

"Sure." I said and continued talking to him.

"Actually, I wanted to know, if Mariah is behaving alright. I hope she isn't being a trouble." I asked and he chuckled.

"No, no. Definitely not. She's well very behaved." He praised. "And right now, she's enjoying the snow." He said laughing.

"Snow?" I asked.

"Oh yeah, it's snowing here today." He stated.

Snow? This time of the year? In New York?

"Oh... I didn't know it snowed at this time of year, in New York." I stated, surprised.

"New York?" We're not in New York." He stated.

"Huh?" I couldn't understand a thing. They aren't in New York?

"No. We're in our vacation home, in the cabins, in Minnesota." He stated. "Anne didn't tell you?" He asked.

No. She didn't.

"Yeah-yeah... She did, I'm sorry, I forgot." I said, nervous laughing at the end.

"Don't worry son, happens to me all the time." He said and laughed it a bit.

I talked to him for a while and then, also to Anne's mother. She asked if I was taking care if myself and having my meals on time. The couple was kind. And it filled me with more guilt.

Finally she gave phone to Mariah and I talked to her.

"Hello?" She asked, while giggling.

"Hi baby, how are you?" I asked.

"I'm so happy, daddy. You know it's snowing here and I'm having so much fun with grandpa." She said in one go.

'Grandpa.' looks like she's opening up.

"Yeah... Sure, you're having so much fun that you're not even missing your daddy." I said, almost playfully.

"No daddy! I miss you. I really miss you." She said and I chuckled.

"Alright, alright. So did you make a snow man?" I asked.

"Yes I did." She squealed, "A big one." She said and giggled. I talked to her for a while, instructing her not to, trouble anyone and suddenly she gave of her to to Anne.

"Here, talk to mommy."

"Mariah, wait... Hello?" I called but, I guess it was too late.

I heard a little ruffling and complete silence. For a long minute neither of us said anything and I was too afraid to break the silence.

After mustering enough courage I spoke.

"Hello?"

My voice so soft and desperate, almost breathy that even I couldn't recognize it.

And immediately she cut the call.

Well.... I deserve it.

I deserve everything she wants to send my way. Yet, I cannot stop this longing...

It's needed but, it's painful.

And the cause of this dull ache...

Is this distance.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_--●--_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Hello my loves💜

Sorry for the short chapter😅
But, things will take a complete turn from here.
Please look forward to it.♥️

Stay tuned 💛

Song recommendation;
Where are you now ~ Skrillex, Justin bieber, Diplo.

Hope you like it💜