Finding Us!

Confession

Jake pov

Hurt.

I was hurt...

Over the fact that, I hurted her so deeply.

So deeply that, even though she says she's forgiven me, I cannot seem to believe her, 'cause I haven't forgiven myself.

"Don't worry... I'm not pregnant."

I never knew, a sentence could hurt me so much. I don't know what hurted me  more, that statement was the truth or she said something like that. But, maybe it was the hurt, in her eyes.

I played with her heart.
Her body....

And I didn't even think, what would she feel.

Am I really so fucked up?! Am I really the monster? Am I....

And, how could I forget I didn't use any protection that night! I was so in rage and drunk that, I couldn't even think straight. I just barged into her room, in middle of the night and yet...
She gave into me.

And now I'm ashamed of myself.

Honestly, I don't know what I would've done, if....... If she actually was pregnant. But, one thing was sure, I wouldn't have forgiven myself, for the rest of my life. And I don't even wanna think about the hurt, pain and angst she'd feel.

It's so hurtful.

I've been here for 4 days in total and not even once, did she look at me, the way she used to. She rather glanced at me very rarely and didn't even initiate, anything. Not even a word.

Maybe her parents understood, cause they never pushed, any of us or the situation.

They just observed.

I finally, had to convince Mariah to come back home with me, to Seattle. Because, she's grown so fond of her grandparents that, it was almost impossible to make up her mind. But, eventually she listened when, Anne asked her to. She agreed on one condition....

That Anne would return back as well.

At first, I honestly thought, she'd deny right away or completely but, she didn't. She agreed and right now, all three of us are in flight, on our way back to Seattle.

Obviously, Mariah was sitting in between Us but, the distance between us seemed farther more. I hate to say this but, I'm glad she's coming back, even though I've been so mean to her. Maybe, she's doing it for Mariah. But, maybe just maybe....

She still loved me.

Cause if she does, even a little bit, it would be enough for me. And she'll forgive me.

Suddenly, a thought of her comes to my mind. Would she really hate me, if she knew what I've done? Would she ever forgive me? Or... Would she leave me forever?!

But, I already have the answer, even when the question was different.

I really hope she'll at least let me explain myself properly. I need to tell her that... Whatever I've done was in clear rage and hate. That I'm a coward who cannot accept the reality. And I'm that monster, who was the cause of her pain and takes full responsibility of it.

I just hope.

_-_-_-_-_-_

"Anne I..."

She stood abruptly and left the table, like the last time I remember she did.

It's been 2 days already since, we've been back home and she's still not even looked at me, for once. I tried to talk to her, look at her, explain to her but, she just leaves, coldly.

And now I understand, how horrible I've been to her.

Soon, I see her coming out of her room with her purse and go out of the house. She's headed back to work.

Without even glancing back, again.

I sigh deeply.

She's not gonna forgive me. And I don't expect her to do anymore but, I just want her to let me explain. That's the least I could do.

I get up from my place and started going out of the door as well....

Maybe... I deserved every bit of it.

Everything, except for her.

_-_-_-_-_-_

I glanced out at the setting sun, as I saw the green lush garden, bathe in the golden hour.

I've never seen this garden so beautiful before. It had all sorts of plant, not that I could recognize any of them but, they looked beautiful. I remember it barren, just plain. But now, it's way more than that.

Way more beautiful.

I've specially come home early, just to talk to her. Hoping that she'd be sitting on the porch, facing the garden, reading her book as the sun would take a few long glances at her.

But, she wasn't here.

Maybe she's still working.

And I can totally understand. She's been really into her brand. I saw it the very first time, I went into her office. She's definitely worked over it but, couldn't make it into the qualifying, because of...
Me.

I sighed again, deciding to go up into my room.

I was about to climb up the stairs when I saw her coming, into the house. She looked tired but, I couldn't wait to talk to her so, I spoke.

"Anne. I've been meaning to talk to you." I said, as I stood in her line of sight. She glanced at me, momentarily and started going back into her room.

"I just spoke something." I repeated, yet she didn't reply. By now, I was raging in anger once again and I went behind her, into her room. I opened the door harshly and yelled at her.

"I'm trying to speak to you." I yelled.

"And I'm not." She said, non chalantly. I drew in a deep breathe.  It's okay, just talk politely.

"Anne, I'm sorry. I really want to explain myself and maybe ask fo-" she cutt me off.

"Mr. Wilson." She spoke, glaring at me. "I've told you already, I don't want your apologies." She crossed her leg, as she glaring. "I don't like people who, pretend to be innocent, when they're not. I'd rather never look at you than, listening to you again." She said, as if her tongue was coated in venom. "That's why, maybe you've so many secrets to keep. Because, you act different with everyone around you." She said and there....

I lost the my patience.

I swiftly moved towards her and held her wrist. She gasped at the intensity of my hold and I started, almost dragging her.

This needs to end here.

It's enough already.

_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_--●--_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_-_

Hello my loves💜

I'm sorry for the late update and the short chapter but, the book is about to end soon...😓
Also, tell me your thoughts about the upcoming chapters.
I'd like to read them♥️

Stay tuned💛

Song recommendation;
Memories ~ Maroon 5

Hope.you Like it💜