Worth the Shot - JENLISA collection

pretend it's okay

She's jealous and I really try hard to understand, but I'm tired and the last thing I want to do is fight with her.

"Jennie, can't we just talk about it tomorrow?" I asked tiredly.

"Fuck, whatever," she angrily says, walking towards the door when I pushed my legs to go in front of her, my hand resting on her forearm.

"Where are you going?" my brows were already drawn together in irritation.

"Home."

"It's 2AM," I argued. "And this is your home."

Her stern eyes landed on mine. "Well, this home is suffocating. I'd rather be on my own apartment."

Dropping my hand to my side, I barked a sarcastic laugh. "Your jealousy amazes me sometimes."

"This isn't just mere jealousy," she huffs.

"What, then?" I crossed my arms, "If you're not jealous of my bestfriend whom I work with, then what really is the issue here, Jennie?"

When she looked at me, tears were already pooling in her eyes. "Fine. Maybe I was being petty, hoping you'd at least not cancel on our dinner because it is... was my birthday. Just like how you cancel out on me every time I try to save this relationship from falling."

Shit. It's Jennie's birthday. How can I... fuck!

The look of disappointment laced on her pained eyes haunted me as I came to this realization.

"Let's end this here, Lisa," her bitter voice was marked with finality and it scared me more than it should.

"You know it's just a matter of days until you come running back," I stared on the floor, refusing her gaze.

It can't be the end of us. We've done this before but we always get back together in the end. She wouldn't really leave me, would she?

"And we both know you'll make me want to run away again the moment I come back," she says in almost a whisper, "I can't live like this forever. You should be happy there's no one who would get in the way with your work anymore, with her."

I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting the tears building in them.

No I don't want anyone else. Fuck it.

"Jennie... You don't mean it," I opened my eyes, desperate as I caught her wrist.

My hold was weak, I knew because of her effortlessly pulling back as she looked away with her cheeks already wet with tears.

"I mean it. With every fiber of my being."

Her tone was low but sharp, her words cutting deep within me.

-

I couldn't sleep.

But I refuse to let it sink it. Jennie loves me and I'm in love with her. We made promises together. She knew I couldn't live a life without her.

So how do you expect me to believe it's over for us?

It was around 7 in the morning when I decided to get up and prepare for work. Jennie being here when I get back home later was on my mind as I try to pretend everything's fine. It's just a little misunderstanding.

Or maybe I'll drop by her apartment. She must be busy studying for her master's. I'll bring her flowers and apologize. If she's not that busy, maybe I can make it up to her by celebrating her birthday with a great dinner. Yeah, I should call for reservation on her favorite restaurant.