Worth the Shot - JENLISA collection

(T) lonely

A/N: Missed writing in Taglish so here's one

-

The usual noise in our cafeteria welcomed me the moment I step foot inside. Napahinga ako nang malalim. It's jam-packed and hot in here. Thankfully, nakita ko agad yung mag jowa.

"Hoy buti dumating ka na muntik na kainin ni Rosé 'yong pinabili mo," sabi kaagad ni Jisoo pagkaupo ko sa tapat nila samantalang si Rosé, inirapan lang siya.

"Oh? San na si Nayeon?" takhang tanong naman ni Rosé habang tumitingin sa likod ko.

"I guess you were right," I gave her a half smile, not really wanting to say it out loud. Alam na naman nila 'yon.

"Putangina talaga 'yang pinsan mo lahat na lang ng sayo inaagaw," galit na sabi ni Jisoo.

Even Rosé brought down her utensils and looked at me seriously. "Dammit, isa pa 'yang si Nayeon. She's no different than your exes na pinapatulan din si Seulgi. At ikaw naman Lisa, wala ka ba talagang balak gawin ha? Ano, lahat na lang ng magugustuhan mo papanoorin mong sulutin niyang pinsan mo?"

"The right one won't be tempted kahit maghubad pa si Seulgi sa harap niya," I continued munching on my food without a care.

"Pwede ba pasapak lang nang isa sa pinsan mo?" inis na inis na rin si Jisoo.

Taking a deep breath, I solemnly looked at my two friends. "I deserved it naman. Ako ang nauna. You already know it, so let's just not make a big deal out of it. Mapapagod din si Seulgi."

They both just looked at me in disappointment. Maybe disappointment because they want me to fight back and be happy. Nevertheless, sanay na ako sa gano'ng tingin. I can never forget the disappointment in their faces, especially Seulgi's, nang malaman nilang may nangyari sa amin ni Irene. Seulgi loved her so much and I was so young and selfish back then, I let my stupid infatuation ruin them.

Now Seulgi's doing everything to get back at me. Flirting with my girlfriends or dates, successfully ruining everything before it even gets deep. Up until now, I still feel guilty. Hindi naman sa wala akong ginagawa. Deep inside I kept hoping they'll be faithful to me, I treat them right as best as I can... although maybe I wasn't as invested as I was to Irene, if I like them, I try to exert a decent amount of effort. Eventually, they betray me like I did to Seulgi. Siguro alam ko na rin naman na gano'n ang mangyayari kaya hindi lumalalim ang nararamdaman ko.

"Ah, ewan ko sa inyo. Basta ako baby loyal ako sayo," panlalandi ni Jisoo sa jowa niya. Gross.

"Aw, me too baby. Subukan mo lang mambabae tutusukin ko 'yang mga mata mo!"

And here we go again. These two often makes me sick sa sobrang kaharutan nila pero I kind of envy them. I want what they have.

When my eyes roamed though, I caught sight of Jennie eating alone. Siya yung bestfriend ni Seulgi. I don't know how they managed to get along. Ever since my cousin broke up with Irene because of me, she became a wreck. I was the reason why my once sweet and playful cousin became an ass, a broken one. Jennie on the other hand... she seems nice. I don't know much about her aside from being an active member of a political party in school. She's kind of famous though, everyone likes her. Surprisingly, even Seulgi since my cousin's usual choice of friends are... different from Jennie.

Out of nowhere, Jennie raised her gaze and met mine. She looked like a cat, full of curiosity. Her lips broke into a small smile which I couldn't return. Nag-iwas na lang ako ng tingin at nagpaalam na sa mga kaibigan ko.

Papunta na sana ako sa dorm ko nang mahagilap ng mata ko si Nayeon kaya napatigil ako. She couldn't see me since she's a bit far away, naglalakad papasok sa isang building kasama ang pinsan ko.