Adventures in the Boiling Isles

Hunting Palismen

One morning, Luz was standing in front of a glass tank where she kept the Echo Mouse that ate Philip's diary. Spoiler alert, she was doing it all morning. "Oh, little echo mouse. You ate the diary that can get us home." Luz sighed. "Can't you cough up a teeny bit?" "Just squeeze it out." King suggested, squeezing Francois tight. "Maybe you just need to be patient." I said. "Shit like that takes time." "Please tell me your secrets." Luz begged. "Hey, knuckleheads. You're gonna be late for school." Eda greeted. "Ready to go, Mom." I said, putting on my sneakers as Luz continued staring at the mouse. "Alright, I guess you won't be getting a magic staff with Peter and the rest of your classmates." Luz quickly got dressed in her uniform and dashed to the door. "Come on, Clawthornes, let's fly!" Luz shouted. "There we go." Eda said. "Luz, I know you're my best friend, but you scare the shit out of me sometimes." I confessed.

All the students who were getting a palisman were told to meet on the Grudgby field. "Hello, my precious Willow tree." I greeted my girlfriend with a kiss. "Hi, Peter. Hey Luz." Willow replied. "Hey, Willow. Shouldn't Amity be here?" Luz asked. "Oh, sorry, Luz." Willow said. "I heard from Alexa that she stayed home today." "Wait. Didn't you tell me she dyed her hair purple, Luz?" I asked. "Oh, that actually makes sense." Luz sighed, disappointed. "Good tidings on this momentous day." Principal Bump greeted. "You're all about to receive your witches' staffs and, more importantly, meet your palisman. This is a crucial step in your magical development. Palismen are lifelong partners. They can become both your good friends, and a powerful tool. In my case..." Turns out that thing on Bump's head was his palisman. He also had a shit ton of hair. "Holy Titan!" Luz gasped. "Frewin here helps me see." Principal Bump explains. "Now, traditionally, young witches carve their staffs from the branch of an old Palistrom tree." Eda added. "But sadly, Palistrom trees are becoming more rare. And those that remain are being guarded covetously." Bump said. "That's why I've teamed up with Bumpipoo." Eda explains. "Never call me that." He grunted. "To bring you..." Eda added. All of a sudden, The Bat Queen came down to the field. "Palisman adoption day!" She announced. I also might've forgotten she was a palisman. "These little ones have not had homes in many years. They want to feel a connection. Kneel and state your deepest wish, and your like-minded partner will find you." "Ugh! I want my own palisman, not some trashy hand-me-down." Boscha complained. "Your loss. I want to be strong and wise to protect everyone I love. And if anyone gets in my way, they'll feel the sting of defeat." Willow said, making a connection with a bee palisman. "Tender yet tenacious." The Bat Queen said. "Clover gives her support." "Oh my gosh!" Willow gasped. "I'm gonna take such good care of you." "Outta my way!" Boscha snapped. "I wanna play professional Grudgby!" "A competitive spirit. Maya will be thrilled." The Bat Queen chuckled as a crab palisman was bonded with Boscha. "Okay, this is pretty cool." Boscha said.

As the other students got their palismen, the only ones left were me and Luz. "I want to be a witch!" Luz exclaimed, but nothing happened. "Uh, probably just takes a little longer since I'm human, right?" "Palismen bond through emotion." The Bat Queen explains. "I do not sense any conviction from you." "That's impossible!" Luz gasped. "I'm Luz. I'm chock-full of conviction!" "Wait! Does that mean it might not work for me?" I asked. "There are many kinds of witches." Principal Bump explains. "What do you plan to accomplish with your magic?" "Oh, uh, get home to my mom?" Luz asked herself. "Find my dad and beat the shit out of my uncle." I replied. "Would you still train to be a witch in the human realm?" Gus asked. "Can you even do magic there?" Boscha sneered. "Can you ever leave us the hell alone?!" I snapped at Boscha, but I still thought about her words. Glyphs don't work in the human realm. Luz can't cast a spell circle. Maybe I'm more of a human than a witch. Maybe my powers are weaker at home. "Huh, I guess I never thought that far ahead." Luz sighed. "Kids, you okay?" Eda asked. Luz and I were sweating with embarrassment.

Later that night before bed, Luz was pacing around the room. "We stayed here because we wanted to learn magic, right?" Luz asked. "We wanted to be witches, like Eda and Azura! But what does that even mean?" "And I'm sure we've both read stories like this. The main character always has to return home." I added. "And, what, did either of us expect to be witches back in Connecticut?" "Yeah, I wouldn't want to be my palisman either." Luz said to the Echo Mouse. All of a sudden, a red bird came out of Luz's bag. "It's you!" Luz gasped. "Did you come here for one of us?" The bird chirped and wandered around. "Of course not." I sighed. "Let's take this little guy back to the nest."