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I am the sand guardian, guardian of the sand

Another crack fic because I have no idea what I'm doing with my life anymore yaaaaaaay-

You knew your rival well. How could you not? After centuries of battle and bloodshed dragged on between you two, you had to know every tiny detail about him to use to your advantage.

You knew that he could hardly ever fight his own battles despite his talent in magic, and would send his two eel lackeys instead. You knew that he was as slippery as a snake and to never trust his deals; There was always some kind of loophole in them.

And you knew his name. Azul Ashengrotto.

Today was the day you would finally put all of the information you gathered into good use. Today will be the day you destroy Azul once and for all and claim your rightful spot as ruler of the sea. Many eons ago, back when the world was brand new and was being divided amongst the gods, Azul and you held a bet. It was decided that whoever won the bet would get the sea, and the loser would be stuck with ruling the sands.

The rules of the bet were simple. You just had to find a gem that was hidden other a cup that was being switched around with two empty cups. Sadly, you picked an empty cup.

But one day, a little birdie told you that Azul cheated. He used his magic to switch the gem into a different cup, and you fell for it despite the trickery happening right before your eyes. You confronted him about it, but with a sly smirk he said that magic wasn't included with the rules. The only rule there was that the loser would rule the sand, and the winner would rule the ocean. All you had to do was pick the cup with the gem in it.

You were furious, and thus, you swore revenge.

And now we're here. In the midst of a battle at Azul's palace under the sea.

You had Azul cornered, slashing at him with your mighty spear as he desperately swished the currents around to try and knock it out of your grip. But to no avail, his attempts were rendered useless. You could tell he was getting desperate, the fear in his eyes was as clear as day. Yet you couldn't help but feel cocky at his desperation.

"This is what happens when you rely too much on those eels if you're Azul. You can't even defend yourself. Pathetic." You spat, slashing at him again and nicking his upper arm slightly. He was panting heavily, his tentacles all flailing as he tried to swim away. But he was too slow, a flaw you would use to your advantage. You slashed at his tentacles next, causing him to let out a cry of pain and fall to the ground, looking up at you in fear.

"Y-Y-Y/N! It doesn't have to end like this! I-I-I-I can grant you anything! Anything you wish! We just have to work out a contract and then-" you cut him off by grabbing his neck harshly, raising him up to your eye level. "I don't think I'll take you up on that offer. We both know what happened last time I took you up on a deal." You said, a bit too cooly. He gasped a bit, glancing around the area for something, anything that could help him escape.

"Do you know who I became because of you?" You asked. "Because of you I have earned myself the title of Y/N the sand guardian. The guardian of the sand. Mortals tell stories of how you quiver before me, as you should." You spat. "I've come here to take my rightful place on the throne."

"Y/N you can't do that! The land and sea won't be evenly divided! The council will-!" Once again, Azul was cut off by you tightening your grip around his neck.

"I don't want to hear any more of your babbling!" You snapped, eyes wild as your grip tightened. "You have no place here anymore Azul!"

"NOW FUCK OFF!" You roared, throwing him across the room and out the window. His screams echoed through the palace, growing fainter the further he fell. You let out a sigh, looking around the palace.

Finally. You could rest easy knowing you had your rightful place as ruler of the sea.

...okay this took forever and it didn't even have all the crack elements I wanted. Don't let this flop please-