Lessons Learned, Healing Hearts

Time Moves On (Chapter 49)

It had been an exceptionally challenging day. Dealing with a particularly belligerent client who, having suffered a mild stroke, seemed determined to dwell in a state of 'pity party table for one,' Marlow was relieved that she had taken the afternoon off. As she sat in heavy traffic, she found herself muttering under her breath, struggling to maintain her composure and avoid laying on her horn. Feeling bored with the monotonous music and chatter on the radio, she grabbed her phone and hopped on Spotify. Randomly selecting a playlist, she rested her elbow on the window frame and supported her head on her knuckles. To her surprise, the playlist was the perfect choice to lift her spirits. Rolling up her window and cranking her music, she drummed her hands on the steering wheel to the beat of a Freddy Mercury tune and happily sang along.

Glancing at the console when the now familiar opening notes to a newly released Il Volo song started, Marlow smiled to herself.

Carrying on the tradition of embarking on a North American tour every couple of years, celebrating their 15thAnniversary, Il Volo had performances in multiple west coast cities. It had been three years since they had set foot on American soil. Despite feeling some lingering guilt over how she had broken things off, she was still a fan of their music. Determined to go but not make her presence known to the members of Il Volo, she purchased a ticket for Seattle.

Unfamiliar with the theatre layout prior to purchasing her ticket, Marlow was surprised to find that even sitting in the second row, on the first terrace left, she was much closer to the stage than she thought she would be. Hoping, with the glare of the lights, that she couldn't be seen by them, she settled in and waited eagerly for the show to start.

Seeing Piero step out onto the stage, a rush of pure joy resurfaced, transporting her back to the very first time she saw him perform in person. As the concert unfolded, she found herself fully immersed in the experience, joining in the applause and cheerful exclamations of "Bravo" echoing around her. Lost in the moment, she sang along as Ignazio held his mic out for the audience to join in. Surprised to find Gianluca standing the closest any of them had ever come to her side of the stage, he looked up grinned, waved, and blew out a kiss. Did he see her, or was the gesture a general display of affection for the crowd? She didn't know. Fixated on him, she watched as he joined the other two. As they took their final bows and waved goodbye, her breath caught in her chest when Gianluca, pointing in her direction, leaned in and whispered to Piero. Melting as far back as she could in her seat, she looked away. As she gathered her things, Marlow pushed past the numerous concertgoers moving too slowly for her liking. Scolding herself for not asking the Uber driver who had brought her to the venue to return to get her at 10:30, she pushed open the exit door and looked around for an available taxi. It was rude of her to rush away, but if Piero had seen her, talking to him in person would have made things incredibly awkward for her, knowing he had recently married.

While enjoying her chat with the taxi driver, Marlow heard a ding on her phone, and out of habit, she pulled down on the notification bar. It was a number she recognized but hadn't seen for quite some time. Too afraid to read it, she didn't bother to respond.

***

Laying on her bed in her hotel room, Marlow stared at the phone number. Many times, she had contemplated deleting Piero's number, but there was something strangely compelling about leaving it there. It was a constant reminder that she had allowed herself to be loved, while also motivating her to continue working on herself. A whirlwind of emotions of relief, anxiety, guilt, and joy collided with one another as she hesitantly opened the text.

You came! it read.

A flicker of excitement lit Marlow's heart. He was happy she had come. Noting the time, 40 minutes had already passed since he had sent his message. Certain that he would still be in a meet-and-greet, she purposefully kept her response short.

I did.

Tossing her phone onto her bed, Marlow opened an overpriced water from the mini fridge and took a big gulp. Hearing a ding a second later, she choked on the water. Rubbing her clammy palms down her jeans, she crawled back onto the bed and slid her finger down her phone's screen, revealing the preview message. Sure enough, it was from Piero.

How have you been?

Before common sense could stop her fingers, she texted back a polite, Good.

What the heck are you doing? her brain screamed at her.

Glad to hear, came back the instant response. The guys and I would love to see you again. We were thinking of grabbing something to eat and want to invite you to come along. Can you join us?

She had done it now. Covering her mouth and nose with her hand, her mind raced. Surely, Gianluca and Ignazio knew why they were no longer together. What if they brought it up? Though she had gone to counselling and learned to accept that her childhood did not have to keep her locked down in fear; the same feelings of panic and guilt came flooding back.

I'm sorry, Piero. I've got an early commute back to Vancouver in the morning, and I'm already in bed.

It wasn't just a made-up excuse; it was a three-hour commute back to Vancouver, where she had to pick up clients at 9:30 a.m. However, rereading her previous texts, she recognized how abrupt they sounded. Though she was far from ready to meet up face to face, not wanting him to overthink their exchange of messages as being insincere, she quickly texted back, It was wonderful to see all of you perform again.

I must admit, I was surprised to learn you came.

I still enjoy your music and listen to it all the time.

Awesome.

Well, Piero, it's late, and like I said, I have an early commute, so I need to get some sleep.

I understand. It was great chatting with you for a few minutes. Have a safe trip back home.

Please say hello to Gianluca and Ignazio for me.

I will.

Resting her phone on her chest, Marlow took a deep breath, feeling a mix of emotions as she reflected on her past. Despite undergoing therapy for a year and a half, she hadn't yet addressed the pain of her breakup with Piero. Pricked with a tinge of old regret and finding tears surprisingly welling up behind closed eyelids, Marlow recognized it was time to deal with that part of her life. Sending off a text to her therapist, asking for the next available session, Marlow closed her eyes and fell asleep, blissfully reminiscing about tonight's concert.