This 'alien' feelings!

The talk... or...

Bright

I take another deep breath as I approach the area where they put all the animals in. Only to be separated by fences inside to prevent them from attacking each other.

But to my surprise when I reach the area, all the animal are seemingly happy and contempt. My eyes searches everywhere for the guy. Until I heard a faint voice that sounds like reprimanding.

"You! how many times do I have to tell you be nice to other. This is only temporary, we are fixing your home so you can have a better one." My eyes locked on the figure who is kneeling down talking to the big malmute as he scratches the dog's fur.

"See, it's not so bad wasn't it?" Win talked again, this time I went near. I don't know what made me calm down, but seeing him happy like this with his walls down, tugged my heart. Can he still be like this if I'm near? I asked myself.

"Win~" I called his name, softly. His shoulder tensed as he turned his head to my way quickly. Our eyes meet, and this time I was sure he had the same expression when we first met at the club. I heard his voice hitched and I stepped back, trying to make space.

"Win, are you okay...?" I asked worriedly, but too scared to approach. He clutched his chest tightly as he was gasping for air, few dogs around me suddenly stands up as they surrounds me, showing their fangs, growling ready to attack. But that doesn't scare me a bit. Win condition is, I want to help but I know I triggered this afraid that if I lend a hand, it'll go out of control. 

"Win, I'm sorry let me get someone for help." I told him, my voice shaky as I couldn't hide my sadness anymore.

"N-no... don't." He managed to utter as he lean on a pole beside him.

"Could you... please get my pills in my bag." He said as he pointed on the bag. Without hesitation I quickly went toward his bag as I hurriedly search for the said medication. I didn't realized it but my hands were shaking too, my whole body. I took the pill and a bottle of water.

"Here..." I said, still keeping my distance handing his medication. He slowly sits on the floor as he take it. While I was just standing there, not moving. Trying to relax myself too. For few minutes, we were quiet, the dogs that were growling at me, surrounds him with their tails waving.

"Okay...okay, I'm calm now..." Win said to himself...or me, or the dogs.

"I'm.. I'm sorry I think I should leave now..."

"No. Wait... sorry about that..." Win apologized. It damn make my heart hurt even deeper with that.

"Why are you apologizing... you shouldn't be... I should be the one to do that." I replied still on my spot, not moving.

"Bright..." he called my name, softly. Why are you so kind Win? It make me feels like I shouldn't be apologizing to you and feel this guilt that is eating me inside forever. I don't deserve this.

I turned my head away, trying to suppress my tears away.

"This...this thing happen when I'm not prepared." He explained.

"And I caused that... am I right?" I asked straightforwardly. Win just look me with his wide eyes, surprised with me knowing, but moment later soften.

"That's not true, it's because I'm just weak that's all... I couldn't control my emotion..." he said as he stands up, dusting his self up.

"..." I was just speechless when he said that. He looked at me as he throw a sad smile before resume talking to the dogs.

"Okay, guys shows over, shoo shoo..." He said as he motioned his hands. He went away further. While I was still on my spot... is this it? Can I even make a proper conversation with him?

"Bright?" I was snapped back into reality when I heard Win called my name...

"What are you doing stand over there, come here there are chairs for us to sit." Win offered.

"Are you sure you'll be fine if I come there?" I asked. I can see him take a deep breath before replying.

"Yeah, it'll be fine."

I was sitting tensely on the chair, quiet. Not knowing what to do, what to say, or even how to breath near him... I was afraid, afraid of hurting him...

"Shouldn't you be there fixing?" Win asked, after few minutes of silences.

"Mike offered to help."

"So you came here?"

"Y-yeah..."

"What for?" He asked, softly no rushing.

"For you... I mean to talk to you..." Win raised his eye brows as he look at me.

"So you came here to talk to me?" Win asked...

"Yes..." I replied hurriedly.

"And what would be the topic of our talk?" I get the feelings that Win actually knew what I was going to talk to him about... is he waiting for me to say it?

"About us."

"Sure... but let's not start with apology okay." When he said, all the words that I have prepared to talk to him, seemingly meaningless right now. I got nothing to talk about then.

"uhm, errr..." I couldn't form any words.

"How are you?" Win suddenly asked.

"Huh?" I looked at him confused.

"I asked how are you doing?" Win repeated himself.

"Oh, I'm doing fine... you?" I asked back. He smiled.

"I'm doing great... lots of fun handling the animal here..."

"Oh, I see... I didn't know you were good with animals." I looked at him, as he smiled again. Then I realised something... we were talking... is this what he meant by it?

"We are talking..." I said, as a matter of fact.

"Yes we are." he replied. I smiled.

"Thanks." I muttered.

"For what?" he asked still with his soft smile while petting the animals near him.

"For... not hating me I guess..."

"There are things that I cannot do, one of them is hating you." Win said that as he went to feed the other animals.

I didn't realised that he left me, speechless again. But this time, not without making my heart racing. It was the feeling that I have long forgotten since the day he left. And this time, I want to keep it that way, protect this feeling... and him. 

I stands up before I called him again.

"Hey Win! can I help?" He turned around looking at me as if he was thinking if he should let me.

"Sure, you can go feed the animal on that side... and how is the repairing work in progress?"

"I think we are almost at 90%..." I replied as I take the animal foods.

"Good... It'll be nice for them..." Win said.

"I know right..."

I didn't know we could talk like this, and if this is the farthest we can go, I don't mind. Him talking to me like this, is enough. I couldn't dare to want more... I couldn't dare to hurt him again... This time, I will protect him well.