A little bit more red

t w e n t y - s i x (rewriting)

"I can't lose her"

Kylie River

I closed my eyes and let the bright sun, shine on my face. People have been walking past me, asked me if I needed any help.

I didn't answer. I kept looking on the ground, saying nothing.

They probably thought I was crazy. No one cared.

But it wasn't their fault. They don't know what happened to me. They don't know how I am feeling. Right, I feel absolutely nothing.

I stared on the street.

I was still sitting on the ground. I didn't manage to get up. I was too weak.

The pain didn't stop. It was like a hard stab in my heart, that just wouldn't go away. I didn't know what to do now.

After that happened, I was sure I couldn't live a normal life, like that one I have been living before. Everything would be different from now on.

Would I ever be happy again?

I thought about my parents. They wouldn't want me to give up. To stop all the pain and just give up. But how can I move on after this?

My parents are dead, Tom hates me and Dray was only playing with me.

It's probably what I deserve. Everything that happens, happens for a reason right?

I couldn't even cry anymore. Not a single tear rolled down my cheek.

I felt so alone. Alone in this huge world. Alone, even though I was surrounded by people.

Nobody would be able to help me, nobody would understand what I am going through and nobody would be able to help me out of this ever again.

It doesn't make sense anymore.

After a while, I finally dared to stand up and keep walking. I just went straight forward, hoping I wouldn't meet anyone I know.

Hoping that I would find a place where I could be alone.

At some point, I was back in front of our hotel.
I didn't know how I got here. Probably a coincidence.

I decided to walk to my room. I knew Dray wouldn't be there.

He told me he doesn't want me. I can't change him. And after everything that has happened, I just wanted to be alone. Decide what to do now.

I walked straight to the elevator with slow steps, leaning against the wall as I felt my feet start shaking again.

I let out a sigh and pulled myself together so I could get into the room without fainting.

When I opened the door I noticed that he wasn't there. I was alone.

There were clothes everywhere but I narrowed my eyes and my legs walked me straight into the bathroom.

I don't want to remember him. Not that night. I wanted to forget everything.

I could see red lines on my wrists. Various flashbacks appeared before my eyes. How I was dragged into the room. How I started losing control over my whole body.