"When Does It End" (Maria Hill/GipReader)

Ch.23

I put clothes on my bag...i-she's--how...Peggy is gone this time forever, i feel tears run down fast enough that i don't have time to wipe them, i start to sob, i sit down on my bed and take the ring around my neck ''oh god Peggy, why,'' i sob harder  ''i'm sorry, is hould have done more'' i put my hands on my face and cry, i then feel the door open and angry steps walk in the room 

''Why didn't you tell me'' i hear Maria angry voice say ''answer me Y/n why didn't you tell me about Peggy''shit ''WE SLEPT TOGETHER, more then one time for god sake, and you never really tough about telling me about the super love of you'r life Fury had to tell me'' i keep my head on my face while more tears leave my eyes ''talk to ME'' i unintentionally let a big sob come out of my mouth, Maria drops to her knees and takes my hands out of my face to see my bloodshot eyes ''oh no i'm sorry baby i'm sorry'' Maria grabs my arms and makes me hug her, i start to cry more but it does feel very nice 

''I'm sorry Maria-i-i didn't want you to leave me or to-to be scared'' Maria rubs my back ''i just feel like every thing around me is crumbling. what happend in Lagos and Victoria is dead she had an OD and Peggy-oh god-Peggy she died in her sleep am packing to go to her funeral'' i let out another sob ''i just feel like i don'r have control over things'' i say to Maria letting her see my fragile side 

''It's ok...i shouldn't have yelled at you-i just- i guess i got jealous and hurt you didn't tell me'' i nod still warped around Maria arms, i take a deep breath and pull back i wipe my tears 

''I feel like a baby'' i say laughing a bit, Maria scoffs with a  laugh 

''Well you aren't, you can cry when ever you want'' Maria leans in and gives me a small peck with makes my heart melt

''As much as i like this i need to go.''

London

Every thing passed so fast me saying good bye to Maria the  flight, now me,Steve and some boys from Peggy's family are carrying her casket while some little children sing, my eyes are drenched in tears. When we get closer i a see picture of her, god i loved that picture she was in her uniform. After we put her casket down we sit down, the priest says some words which i'm to sad to hear, but then he calls Sharon to talk , i'm sitting next to Sam and Steve 

''And now, I would like to invite Sharon Carter to come up and say a few words.'' Sharon looks nervously, she was the one who told me where Peggy was 

''Margaret Carter was known to most as a founder of SHIELD...but I just knew her as Aunt Peggy.'' Steve and Sam seem to be talking in between stares ''She had a photograph in her office. Aunt Peggy standing next to JFK. As a kid, that was pretty cool. But it was a lot to live up to. Which is why I never told anyone we were related.'' she then looks directly  at me ''I asked her once how she managed to master diplomacy and espionage in a time when no one wanted to see a woman succeed at either. And she said, compromise where you can. But where you can't, don't. Even if everyone is telling you that something wrong is something right. Even if the whole world is telling you to move . . . it is your duty to plant yourself like a tree, look them in they eye and say " No, you move...that's all.'' she goes back to her seat and then the priest comes back 

''Now i would like to ask one of the people who Peggy must loved in this world not only as a friend but a lover to come here...'' oh shit, i see Steve look nervous ''Y/n Stark'' i look beside me and see Steve stare at me with confusion and anger-i can't belive my secrey is out, i slowly get up feeling every person in the room look at me 

I look aroundseeing Sharon which smiles at me with sympathy and then...i see Natasha who gives me thumbs up ''i-Peggy--'' i take a deep breath ''Peggy wasn't just a lover to me, she-she was the complete love of my life, she was my light when i felt like i was going dark and i was her safe space, i loved her so much...i still do, but now she's gone'' i feel a tear slip from my eyes ''Peggy loved me as much as i loved her...we where supposed to spend the rest of our lifes together...but someone took that from us...Margaret Elizabeth Carter was the most beautiful human being to walk on this earth not only for her facial  features but for her heart, Peggy always wanted to help everyone that's one of the things i must loved about her...'' i see Steve get up and leave mad and Sam goes right after him, i sigh ''My love for Peggy will never disappear...she will always be in my heart and in my head'' i slowly take my ring from around my neck ''but that doesn't mean i won't love again...or have a happy ending without her...i love you Peggy'' i say the last part for myself, i slowly walk to my sit.