Slow Changes (Whizzvin)

Part XXIX. Well-Needed Therapy

Last chapter of 1980. 5 chapters until Whizzvin. 10 chapters until epilogue. Jason tells Mendel about girls at school and about how he doesn't have romantic feelings for them but he wants the girls that... Smoke and wear revealing clothing. And Mendel just says it's childhood trauma or something. Also, this is Mendel couch section snippets!

Sexual mentions. angsty Trina, angsty Whizzer but not really, and Marvin with Janet and I don't like Janet for some reason and I think it's because I named him after Janet from Rocky Horror. I know. I'm like that

Mendel's Point of View: Various Times, December 23rd, 1980.

Jason sat down on the living room couch. "I don't think that I want to marry anyone but I really fine women to look very appealing but then I don't want to marry one but that doesn't make me gay because I still think they're really pretty and I just really like the girls who dress in revealing clothing. I want a girl who can wake up next to you and-" I clicked my pen and tuned him out.

"That's completely natural for boys your age, Jason!" I tried to give him a warm smile and he just rolled his eyes. He's a rebellious pre-teen. I can't blame him. "Jason, when I was your age, I hated marriage. I hated anything that had to do with love and look where I am now." Jason twiddled his thumbs, probably as a way of fidgeting. "Uh... Married to my mom even though you never even dated her and only married her because she was pretty?"

Kids can attack you in the ways that make you self conscious. "I suppose so, but your mother is a very charming woman. I wouldn't risk my career for someone I didn't love, Jason." He rolled his eyes again, being very animated in his distaste. "And time's up. Your whole issue is probably just from bad views on love because your parents divorced and fought and you saw Marvin hit Trina."

And next up in the couch monthly family sessions was Trina. I don't know why I'm still my wife's psychiatrist, but she seemed to really need it. "Hi, honey!" She folded her hands in her lap, like always. "Hi, honey." She was never as... Enthusiastic as me about our relationship. But that could be because of Marvin or stress or anything.

"So you seem stressed? What could this be from? Is there anything that could influence that?" I started chewing on my pen. "Well, Whizzer isn't doing the best and I'm trying to help him, honey. But he just can't get over Marvin." Trina thought I couldn't keep a secret, so I don't know why she would tell me this. "Don't tell anyone that. It slipped, hon. Don't tell anyone he still loves Marvin."

I nodded. "So you seem to care for Whizzer, correct?" Trina was filing her nails. "Yes. He's my friend. We bond over Marvin abusing us and we have a really... Unbreakable bond." She laughed nervously, probably afraid I would think she was cheating. But Whizzer is... The gayest person I've ever met. And I've met a lot of gay clients. "So you're empathetic of him?" She nodded. "Time's up."

Whizzer was next. He had never been to a Mendel couch session. This was his first one. "Take a seat right there." He looked at the seat. "You mean the couch?" I nodded and he took a seat on the couch. "This is how I work from home and practice for my job. Now, have you ever been diagnosed with anything I should know about?" Whizzer shook his head no. "What was your childhood like?"

"My parents disowned me when I was 13 and came out as gay. I'm half Mormon. My mom wanted me to go to BYU Idaho. I'm half Jewish by descent, but my father converted with my mother. I had multiple brothers. Two. Jack and Kevin. Kevin was my twin and he got excommunicated and also turned out to be gay and now has a coffee addiction and I moved here from Utah when I was 14 with someone who picked me up off the street."

"So do you wish you actually knew your parents? Do you wish to get back in communication with your brother?" Whizzer shook his head no. "No. He lives somewhere with his ginger boyfriend who likes... Tap?" Whizzer pretended to vomit. "He can't style for shit. He only has good hair. My other brother's... Okay? And he really likes... Donuts? He stole one once."

I tapped my foot. He had barely mentioned his parents besides their religion and genealogy. "And your parents?" Whizzer looked at the ground. "No. Not in a million years. I don't even remember their names."

Marvin's Point of View: 3:59pm December 23rd, 1980.

I'm at a visit with Mr. Woman's Name. "And you're still in love with him?" I smiled. "I'm still in love with him. He's my favourite person. I hurt him, he didn't hurt me." Janet adjusted his glasses. "And why did you hurt him?" I sighed. "I wanted to see him beg for me to stay with him. But that didn't happen. So I yelled at him." That was true. That was the actual reason. And I was finally ready to admit that. How I wanted attention. How I wanted it all.

"And did you get that? What I mean is, did you get a thrill out of it?" I shook my head no. "No. No I did not. In the end, it actually hurt me. In the end, everything about him fucking hurt, okay, Janet? Okay, Mr. Lady's Name?" I sighed and started sobbing. "I'm sorry, Mr. Aaronovich." He didn't seem hurt. "Marvin, this happens to me all the time. Don't worry." He gave me a comforting smile. This is what they pay him for.

"Well I am fucking worrying because I just blew up at my psychiatrist and my ex doesn't love me and personally I no longer love myself either because I've been through years of bullshit with him and still living him. I've been through 2 years of this shit and it feels like 2 fucking lifetimes and I'm so done, Janet." I was ugly crying at this point. I wanted to trash the room. I hated everything so fucking much.

"Marvin, this is completely natural." I didn't believe him. "No. No it's not." He placed a hand on my shoulder. "Don't touch me, Janet." He takes his hands off of me and lets me cry it out. "The session's over." He whispers a few minutes later. "Sorry." I get up and leave.

A/N: 1116 words woo. I have the outline for every chapter and the epilogue finished yay.