Slow Changes (Whizzvin)

Part XXVII. Where Everyone Is

The Marvin part of this chapter is highly odd. It's poetic and boring and you can feel free to skip it. It shows how everyone's feeling and all. We only have 12 more chapters of this and I want to make the 12 chapters the best they can be. Then I have Trina being Trina and baking and Jason's views on... Religion?

Trigger warning for descriptions of anxiety and descriptions of abuse (not too graphic.)

Marvin's Point of View: 8:17am, September 17th, 1980.

The pills weren't working so they took me off of them. I felt like I was falling. Constantly. Down a hole with no return. I'm still using my crutches to get around. I'll fucking have to for months. I feel horrible. Horrendous. I feel like I can never climb up from this fucking grave that I've dug myself of constant panic and self loathe but at the same time an overexaggerated sense of self importance.

I felt like I was falling down a bottomless pit. I would think my friends hated me and then have a panic attack about Charlotte not answering my calls because she obviously hates me but I deserve it but why does she hate me when I've done nothing but fucking good for her? Then it turns out she doesn't hate me and she was at the store or some shit.

And Whizzer definitely hates me. But I shouldn't be thinking about him. I should be thinking about how I'm supposed to actually be in my son's life and how instead of me as a father, he has my old psychiatrist and my ex boyfriend.

Jason obviously hates me. I made him go through a lot. And I'm actually realizing that. You don't make slow changes, slow changes make you. And I was beginning to realize that. I was beginning to realize that my changes... They were a revise.

Jason's Point of View: 10:03am, September 17th, 1980.

I haven't seen my dad in a long time because my mom says he's doing some mental health things but last time she said that, her best friend was dead or something and I honestly really don't understand death and all the Christians in my class talk about hell and hell seems bad but I don't think hell gets mentioned in the Torah and hell seems like it sucks because you're burning in fire and Satan's saying mean things to you and Jesus thinks you're a dick but I think Jesus is a dick.

My mom says that Jesus isn't something Jews believe in when I mention my Christian classmates to her and she says something along the lines of "Well, honey, God isn't Jesus and sure he was real but he was a teacher of Christ and his story was probably altered out of severe antisemitism when it was wrote down. Some Christians still hate Jews for killing their God."

I don't understand religion. But I'm still really smart and really awesome and my mom's less than awesome but Mendel's the cool dad and then I have another mom and that's Whizzer and then I have the lesbians from nextdoor and one of them cooks and I hate her cooking but she's nice!

And that's really my life so that's cool and I still love chess and my cat's really nice and she's in my lap right now and that's really cute and she's really cute and Whizzer got the cat for us and the cat was a rescue and that's sad because I don't know who'd hurt this cat and if you scratch her gently sometimes she licks you and I've never had a cat like that and I didn't know that was a cat thing.

Trina's Point of View: 3:27pm, September 17th, 1980

Whizzer and I were baking a strudel together. "Whizzer, make sure to get the dough just right, okay?" Whizzer nodded. I'm glad my life was finally under control. His was aswell. And I was happy he was happy. He seemed to be focused on the pastry. He was doing the dough quite well.

"Whiz, hon, you seem distracted. We can talk! Girl to flamboyant homosexual ex of her ex husband." I smile, trying to get him to accept me for my horrible jokes. "It's concerning Marvin." I put my hand over my heart. "Oh, honey, what happened?" I sigh. "Okay so like remember how I didn't want to be in a romantic relationship before?"

I nod, scared of what he's yet to tell me. "I want to be in one. With him, Trina. And I don't want to want to, but I can't not want to. Of course there had to be something you saw in him to marry him and I see so much in him and he's the guy who I want to be in a relationship with and not have around for a quick, angry screw."

I took everything in and smiled at him. "Whizzer, honey, you don't have to get over him. Wait until the next time you see him naturally. Don't call him. Wait until the universe gives you a sign that he's the one. Because then you'll know that you're actually supposed to be with him! He would be lucky to have someone who can cook like you."

Whizzer let out a giggle at the last sentence as I hugged him and he hugged back. "Now, let's fill the strudel." I pulled the cherry filling out of the fridge and the glaze for the strudel. "Now, Whizzer. You glaze after I stuff the strudel." Stuff the strudel sounded like a gay sex euphemism.

He starts laughing. "Stuff the strudel sounds like-" I cut him off with an "I know." So I filled the strudel (which sounds much less sexual) and Whizzer iced the strudel. We put it in the oven and waited. Jason ran into the kitchen when he could smell the strudel. "Hi, Jason!" Whizzer said to Jason, rubbing him on the head. He was a good dad. "Whizzer! Are you and mom making strudel? Can I have some? Because sometimes mom makes things for her friends and I don't get to try them."

"Of course you can have some! Is it ready, Trina?" I looked in the oven and put a mit on, getting the beautiful looking strudel out. I cut Jason and Whizzer a piece and that was our dinner. I love my family.

A/N: 1076 words, dudes. I woke up at 7pm and I only had 200 words written so- Also, I slept the whole fucking day.