Part XXX. Jason Offends Trina

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Trina and Jason work on the plan and Trina decides to let Mendel in on it, but makes him promise not to tell anyone or she would divorce him. She never would, but he believes it and they decide to make the plan even better. Jason also offends Trina.

No trigger warnings for this chapter! This chapter is pure "Let's get 2 boys together because they need to be happy even though they were only together for nine months "

Mendel's Point of View: 9:43am, January 2nd, 1981.

"Jason, hon, we can't tell your stepdad!" That's what I heard from the beautiful, graceful Trina. "Tell me what?" I smiled at her from the bottom of the stairs. They've been whispering on the stairs a lot. I know she would never cheat on me, but it's very concerning. I don't want to be nervous and no one's yelling at me so I should feel alright, right?

Trina starts to panic, you can always notice it in her eyes, "Tell you about uh... Um... Come on the stairs sweetheart." I sigh. "Just a second, babe!" I hate stairs. They're a horrible form of physical exercise. I put my spork I'd been eating yogurt with in the sink and throw the yogurt container away. I climb up the stairs halfway to Trina. "Honey, we're trying to get Marvin and Whizzer back together. Don't tell them or we're getting divorced."

I didn't want to believe her, but I did. "Okay! I promise, honey." I could tell she couldn't trust me with secrets. Sure, I told everyone about her two STDs but hey, that's not too bad, right? It's not like she has anything else. I'm not a bad husband. She loves me, I just had to tell my friends why I was scared to have sex with her because they were making fun of me.

"We're going to do it at my very first baseball game of the season and we're inviting them both and they'll fall in love again because they still love each other and it's very, very obvious." I laughed at Jason's explanation and Trina gave me a dirty look, thinking I was laughing at Jason. "Excellent idea. You're a talented young man." I said, not wanting to upset Trina further. "I'm not YOUNG." Jason stuck his tongue out at me. "Well you aren't old."

Jason was somehow insecure about his age. When he's older, he'll want to be 12 again. I swear. "I'm middle aged." Trina starts laughing. "Middle aged? So you'll die at 24?" Trina laughed harder. "Noo. I'm just not young or old!" Trina was VERY amused. "You'll die at 24?" I joined in on the joke. "Jason, that's why your mom put you in therapy." Jason just rolled his eyes.

"Jason, me and your mom are middle aged." Trina looked at me, offended. "Sorry. Jason, I'm middle aged. Trina is comfortably aging and doesn't look a day over 20." Jason rolled his eyes. "She looks 50." Trina was shocked, to say the least. "I'm... I'm 32, Jason." Jason rolled his eyes and I flicked him on the head to not let him slander my wife. "She's 32. Now be nice to your mom or I'm taking your chess set away, okay?"

Jason apologized and gave Trina puppy dog eyes. "Honey, you can't say that. Especially to women. Remember when I taught you about a little thing called manners?" Jason sighed and I placed a hand on his shoulder. "Trina, honey, he knows and I'm sure he's sorry. He didn't mean it to be mean, right?" Jason nodded.

Trina wasn't the nicest mom. She was more of a helicopter mom. But she was a hot helicopter mom. And I love her. I kissed Trina's cheek. "Sweetheart, he was trying to say he was old. Don't cry! Hey! It's fine!" She was crying. I don't understand how someone can be so self conscious over her age. "Hey, honey, it's okay! He loves you and thinks you're young. He knows you're young. You're not 60."

I motioned for Jason to go to his room. "Trina, sit on the couch. I'll make you some tea. I'll make the bed and do the laundry. Would that make you less in the mood to... Murder our son?" Trina smiles at me politely. "Yes, yes it would. Where's Whizzer, honey?" I don't know where Whizzer is. "Probably asl-" I think to look out the window. "I honestly don't know. His car's gone." Trina props her feet up.

"I love you, Trina, okay? Now just think of... Pretty things! Like the birds you always watch in the mornings." I don't know how that offended her so much. Apparently her time of the month was due so that probably just explains everything. "Do you want chocolate?" Trina smiles at me politely. "No, honey. Can you cook me some fried okra?"

How the heck do you cook fried okra? "Uh um... Yeah! Yeah, I can. I'll just go into the kitchen and I'll make fried okra!" I get one of her cookbooks out and learn how to fry things. Why do we fry things? Who decided to learn how to fry things? Who just boiled grease and put something in there and said 'Oh! Let me taste this!' and after the struggle of making fried okra, I bring the plate out to Trina. "Here, honey! Enjoy!" I gave her every utensil because I've never had fried okra before.

Trina ate it sheepishly. She didn't seem to enjoy it, but no one enjoys my cooking because apparently I can't cook right or something. I kissed her forehead. "After the fried okra do you want to-" She gave me an odd look. "Who? Me? No. Not right now. But I would love to cuddle with you after this and after you do my chores, okay?" Oh god. What'd I get myself into?

"Of course, honey." I started folding laundry in the chair on the side the couch. "Hey, honey, tell me about that woman who bothers you in Walmart." She always loved complaining about Janus. "Well she comes up behind me when I'm buying simple kosher salt and she's like 'What do you need kosher salt for?' and I'm all like 'Well I need salt.' and she just snorts and walks away!"

"Well is she anti semitic? Does she hate religion? Does she hate you? How could someone hate you, honey?" I kissed her forehead. "Hey, honey, I know she's a dick," I say whole folding shirts. "I love you, okay? And I will go to her house and- Actually, would I get arrested for that? I'll uh..." Trina laughs and throws her plate away. "Honey, you don't have to do anything."

Great. Mood swings. Hormonal women scare the heck out of me. "I can throw that away for y- Oh. She's already gone into the kitchen." And that was the night Trina got really emotional over a 12 year old calling her old.

A/N: 1167 words woo! I published the entirety on AO3 last night. Not the full fanfic, just what I've published on here so far.

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