I'll Always Love You - A Romanogers Fanfic

27

STEVE'S POV

I'm headed for the gym to get in a workout before the Christmas party tonight.
I haven't seen her in two days. Not since the elevator. I haven't even seen her around.
Was I too out there with the kiss?
I'm debating with myself whether or not I should've kissed her as I enter the gym only to find the woman in question in the corner of the room, throwing sloppy punches at a dummy.
It's not like her to be sloppy.

"Nat?" I slowly approach her. Something must be wrong.
As I get closer I can hear her sobbing.
"Nat?" I try again, this time a little louder.
She turns around. Her eyes are swollen, red and filled with tears.
"Steve" she says, as if she's telling someone who I am.
"What's wrong" I ask.
Had I been anyone else I think she would've tried to hide her emotions more.
"It doesn't matter. It's dead" she says.
"What's dead?" I ask her and gets closer to her.
She reeks of vodka.
"Have you been drinking?" I ask her and catch a tear that's rolled from her eye.
"What does it look like?" She says flatly and dodge me as I'm about to wipe a tear from her other cheek.
"Like you have been" I say.
"That is right" she says and stumbles towards her gym bag.
She grabs a flask and as soon as it's open I can smell the  pure vodka. It must be a very strong one since I can smell it from where I'm standing.
She takes a large sip, sounding like she's almost emptying the flask.
She mumbles something before she accidentally trips over something on the floor.

I just manage to catch her before she hits the floor.
"My vodka!" She screams, sounding terrified that something happened to it.
"It's still there" she sighs relieved and puts the flask to her lips.
"I think you've had enough" I say and take the flask from her hand, spilling a little on her chin.

She licks around her mouth to get the vodka before she looks angrily at me.
"You don't know how much I've had!" She yells insulted.
"How much have you had?" I ask calmly.
"Almost two bottles" she mumbles as if she doesn't want me to hear it, but she's too drunk to filter.
"Then definitely no more for you" I say loudly. How can she not have gotten alcohol poisoning from that?
"You're not the boss of me Rogers" She says more calm now and reaches for the flask.
I hold it above my head as I help stand up, her still reaching for it.
She scoffs annoyed. "Give me the flask, Rogers" she demands, but her slightly shaky legs kind of steps on her point.
"No Nat, I won't give you the flask. I'm going to take you to your room so you can sleep it off, so you're ready for the Christmas party" I say in a convincing tone.
She lifts an eyebrow and looks at me.
"Why do you think you decide what I'm going to do?" She asks slightly annoyed in a bit of a blurry voice.
"Because I care about you" I say.
"Because I care about you" she says in a mockingly tone.
"I do" I say and put a hand on her back.
She scoffs again.
"I'm impossible to care for Rogers, you should know that by now. Exhibit A, I just killed someone you could have cared about" she says as I follow her out of the gym, not knowing where she's headed. Even drunk she holds on to her beliefs of being impossible to love.

But who is she talking about she killed?
"Who are you talking about you killed, and where are we going?" I ask as we go into the elevator.
"To the roof" she says, but I stop her before she presses the button.
"I'll press the button" I say and press the button to the floor with her room.
She mumbles something and slides down the elevator wall.

When the elevator opens on her floor she's halfway through a song in Russian, that I think is about vodka. She's still sitting on the floor, moving her head as a dance.
"We're here" I say and she stops singing and looks up.
"He-..Hey! That isn't the roof" she says and points out of the elevator doors.
"No it's your flo-.." I say but she interrupts.
"I wanted to go to the roof!" She says and tries to get on her legs.
"You're not going there" I say and pick her up from the floor so she's in my arms.
"You suck Rogers. We sleep together a couple of times, and now you think you can decide where I'm going?" She says furiously and tries to get away, but I'm strong enough, and she's too drunk to use spy stuff I can't control.
"Okay it was more than a couple of times" I say when I - with complications - get her door open.
"Whatever" she says as she lands on her bed.

"Okay, now go to sleep" I say, as an order.
She smirks. "Help me get off my tights, I can't sleep in tights".
She may be drunk but she still knows how to get her way.

I sigh.
"Oh come on Rogers, it's nothing you haven't done before" she says and flashes me the smile that she knows gets me crazy.
I clear my throat. God she's good.
"Not while you were drunk" I say.
"It's not a lot harder" she shrugs.

I help her out of the tights, and she sighs relieved when they're off her legs, leaving her in her panties.
"Now my shirt" she says and points to her tight t-shirt that's perfect on her body.

She's now only in her bra and panties, and she looks so beautiful. So much like a goddess. I wish she would have believed me when I told her I loved her.

"Now you can go to sleep" I say and put a finger on her lips and gently wipe away a little bit of vodka or a tear, I don't know.
"Can't you stay?" She asks softly and looks at me as I walk away from the bed.
"Are you sure?" I ask, because I know she wouldn't want me to if she was sober.
She nods. "I've felt so lonely since it died" she says.

I don't even ask what died, I just go sit next to her, leaning against the headboard.
"Thanks" she mumbles, very quietly and puts her head in my lap.
"No problem" I say and plant a kiss on her forehead before I start to stroke her hair.
God I've missed her.

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NATASHA'S POV

I wake up with my head in Steve's lap.
I'm a little dizzy, I might still be a bit drunk.
I remember everything, thank god for my high alcohol tolerance.

I shouldn't have mentioned 'killing someone' but I was sad. Am sad.
I've been crying more these past two days than ever before in my life.
I now know why The Red Room thought it was a good idea to sterilize us.

Ever since I found out the fetus died I've been twisting my brain trying to figure out how the fuck the test could show positive then, but I haven't found an answer that makes sense.

And in the end I needed some vodka. It's a good momentary painkiller, and then working out.

I look at Steve. He has fallen asleep leaning against the headboard.
He still has his hand in my hair, and his other one in his lap.

I look at his wristwatch. There's only an hour until the party starts.
"Steve?" I say and shakes his shoulder to wake him up.
"Yes?" He asks and looks around confused.
"There's an hour until the party starts" I say.
"An hour, I better get ready!" He exclaims and almost jumps up.
"Yeah, you better. Thanks for this, and...I'm sorry" I say and smile weakly and he's already close to the door.
"It's okay, don't be sorry" he says and smiles before he leaves my room.

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