I'll Always Love You - A Romanogers Fanfic

91

NATASHA'S POV

Clint and I have landed on Vormir. It's so weird being on a different planet. I thought I'd had my fair share of experiences, but apparently not.
It's so surreal. We're all alone in an entire planet, and we're headed towards our only reason to be here: the mountain.

"What do you plan on doing when we've gotten everyone back?" Clint asks as we begin climbing that mountain Nebula talked about.
I sigh. "I honestly can't really think about that right now. What about you?" I ask.
"My family. Only being with my family. But seriously, give me something. Missions? Are you getting back into dancing for real? What about you and Steve?" He asks, the last question with a teasing smile.
"I forgot! No one knows!" I exclaim. We've all been so caught up in all this, that I haven't even told Clint that Steve and I are getting married.
"What? What is it?" He asks curiously and turns around to look at me, blocking my way so I can't get past him before I've told him.
"Uhm...Steve and I...we're getting married" I say with a smile.
Clint's jaw drops, and his face lights up.
"Really!? That's amazing! I'm so happy for you!" He almost screams and he hugs me tightly.

"Why are you so happy about that?" I chuckle when he's let go of me.
"Because I've never seen you happier than you've been with Steve, and I want you to be happy because you deserve it, Nat" he says with a sincere smile.

"And you don't?" I ask as we continue our climb up the mountain.
"Hardly anymore" he says, and suddenly his voice is all quiet.
"Clint stop. Of course you do. I know a thing or two about murdering too many people. But you've forgiven me for that, haven't you? And Steve loves me despite of it. And I've become an Avenger. Things change, people grow" I say, and I really do know what I'm talking about.
"Yeah, but I've grown into a bad person" he says, and I can hear he despises himself right now. I know a thing or two about that as well.
"Clint, you weren't bad. You were broken. You lost everything" I say and put a comforting hand on his back.
He doesn't say anything. I know he doesn't know what to say, because I know what it's like to lose everything. I've lost my everything more than once.

More than halfway up the mountain, he finally turns around.
"I didn't lose you, Nat. You're part of my everything, and if I'd been stronger, I would've stayed and helped you. You lost a child too" he says with a sympathetic smile.
"An unborn child, Clint. You lost your wife and your kids, who are actually born. I got to at least keep my boyfriend" I say with a little smile to lighten the mood.
"There's no way you can justify this Natasha. You lost just as much as me. You're just stronger, and I'm so sorry I didn't help you" he says, as we keep going up, and we begin to see the end of the path.
"You're here now. That's what matters" I say, and we walk the last way in the snow in silence.

"I bet the raccoon didn't have to climb the mountain" I groan exhausted when we've made our way to the top.
"Technically he's not a raccoon, you know" Clint argues.
"Oh whatever, he eats garbage" I say, before an unknown voice sounds.

"Welcome" it says, and both Clint and I draw our weapons.
"Natasha. Daughter of Ivan" it says, in a weird hollow like voice.
"Clint. Son of Edith" it says.

Clint and I are both ready with our weapons, unaware of what this creature is.

We move slightly closer, without lowering our weapons for even a second.
"Who are you?" I ask it.
"Consider me a guide...to you...and to all who seek the Soul Stone"
"Oh good. You tell us where it is, then we'll be on our way" I say, trying to cover up that I'm actually a little scared.

"Ah Liebchen...if only it were that easy" it says and comes out of the shadows, and it turns out to be...Red Skull?

He shows us to a steep edge, and he begins an explanation...which ends up as a huge dilemma for Clint and I.

After realizing that one of us has to die, we try hard to find a way.
Clint sounds like he doesn't believe it, but everything else is so crazy, that I'm bound to believe that it's true.

"Whatever it takes" I say after thinking for a while.
"Whatever it takes" Clint repeats quietly.

It's gotta be me. I've struggled to get here, struggled all my life to do good, and I finally have an opportunity to even out for everyone I've killed.
I can never go back, and no one ever could or should forgive me for those I've killed, but I have a chance to bring someone back to life, and I won't even think twice.

"I'm starting to think we mean different people here, Natasha" Clint says after we've agreed that it has to be done, and we're standing hand in hand.
"For the last five years, I've been trying to do one thing. Get to right here. That's all it's been about, bringing everybody back" I say.
"No, don't you get all decent on me now" he says.
"What, you think I wanna do it?" I ask, and my thoughts immediately go to Steve.
As much as I love him, this is for a greater good, and I'm not that hard to live without.
"I'm trying to save your life, you idiot" I continue.
"Yeah, well, I don't want you to. How's that?" He asks.
"Natasha, you know what I've done. You know what I've become" he says with pain in his voice.
"Oh, I don't judge people on their worst mistakes" I tell him. If I did, I would've had to kill myself at least a million times.
"Maybe you should" he whispers.
"You didn't" I whisper back, and I reminisce our friendship. He's the greatest friend I've ever had. My first true friend.
"You're a pain in my ass, you know that?" He asks.
I nod in response, and we put our foreheads together like a goodbye.

This has to happen.

He startles me, and I fall to the ground, but I'm quickly on top, and I get up and electrocute him with my wristbands.

I take the opportunity, and I run towards the edge, but an arrow explodes next to me, forcing me to throw myself to the side.

As I try to get up, he runs towards the edge...and he takes the jump, but I manage to catch him and secure us so I'm hanging lower than he is.
I am the one who should do this, I really am.
My final chance to do good.

"Damn you" he groans.
"Wait" he says, and I can hear he's struggling, but I've made up my mind.

"Let me go" I whisper.
"No. No Please no" he says, on the verge of tears.
"It's okay" I whisper again to assure him.
"Please" he begs, but I can't stay anymore. This is what needs to be done.
I let go of him, and immediately the free fall hits me.

I can hear him screaming as I keep falling.
I'm gonna miss him.
I'm gonna miss the team.
I'm gonna miss Steve.
But I'm doing it for everyone else.

But Steve.

"I'm sorry Steve" I whisper to myself as the freezing wind wheezes in my ears.
"I'll always love yo-.."

I'm sorry.
Further explanation in next chapter, because right now I'm sobbing.