I'll Always Love You - A Romanogers Fanfic

26

NATASHA'S POV

I sigh. These past two minutes have been very long.
I pick the test up from the counter, and gasp.
POSITIVE
How? I'm sterile. But it said positive. I need to see a doctor to make sure. But it's not possible. But it's positive. But it's not possible. I really need a doctor to tell me.

As I exit the bathroom I can't help but feel happy. I might be having a baby. How do I tell Steve? Do I even tell him?
I put a hand on my belly.
"We're going to find a way to tell your daddy" I mumble to it and pats it gently.

"Who are you talking to?" Steve asks and his head shows up from around the corner with a box of what looks like Christmas decorations.
"Huh? No one" I say and quickly remove my hand from my belly.
"Are you sure? Because I could've sworn I heard a voice" he says and look around in the empty hallway.
"Maybe you're just old, and you can't hear very well anymore" I shrug. I can't talk to him before I find a way to tell him I'm pregnant.
I keep walking even though he seems like he wants to talk to me.

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STEVE'S POV

She keeps walking. I can hear her mumble something to herself. That's probably what I heard before.
I really need to talk to her though.
I decide to let it go for now, and continue towards Wanda's room with the Christmas decorations.

"I got the box of Christmas decorations" I say as I enter Wanda's room.
"Oh great!" She says and uses her powers to get the box out of my hands so she can take a closer look.

After 30 minutes of sorting the good decorations from the bad ones Wanda stops.
"What's wrong?" She asks.
"What?" What makes you think something's wrong?" I ask calmly without removing my look from the Santa that I have in my hand.
"Usually you talk to me, right now you're like the others, treating me like I'm not there" she says.
"Sorry, I guess I just have a lot on my mind" I say without specifying. She doesn't need to know that Natasha is constantly on my mind.
"Like what?" She asks curiously.
"A lot of things" I say.

She gets into my head, and I don't stop her until it's too late.
"Natasha? Why are you thinking so much about Natasha?" She asks with a confused face.
"Wanda, stop reading people's minds without their permission" I say a little annoyed, and go towards her door.
"Tell me why you're thinking about her!" She says loudly.
"It doesn't matter" I say. "I'll see you at dinner".
I leave her room. She was going to figure it out sooner or later, I wouldn't be able to stop her anyways, but this was a bad time for her to find out that I'm ridiculously in love with Natasha, so I hope she didn't realize that that's why Nat is all I'm thinking about.

I'm waiting for the elevator to close when a hand stops the doors.
Natasha's eyes stare right into mine before she enters the elevator. Her lips twitch into a small smile as  she leans against the wall.
This is the perfect time to talk to her.
I press the button to stop the elevator.
She tilts her head and lift her eyebrow in question.
"I have somewhere I need to be Rogers" she says and tries to get to the button, but I block it.
"No, Natasha we need to talk" I say and look at her beautiful face.
"Why Steve? You were the one who wanted to go back to before, so we don't need to talk about it" she says and keeps trying to get past me.
"We can't pretend it didn't happen. You said that yourself" I say.

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NATASHA'S POV

He's right that we can't pretend it didn't happen. But I can't be with him. I know that very well, and he does too, and in my experience just not talking about things makes them go away.
Or you kill the other.
No other option.
"Steve, I need to be somewhere in..." I look at my phone "...20 minutes" I say and look into those blue hypnotizing eyes. I look away almost immediately.
"But we nee-..." he says but I cut him off.
"Yeah yeah we need to talk" I say and finally get to the button.
"When you get back from wherever you need to be" he says and look at me seriously.
The elevator dings at his floor.
He looks at me.

And then suddenly his lips are on mine. Not a desperate kiss. A passionate one, leaving me with butterflies as he leaves the elevator.
"If you stay away from this conversation" he says in a warning tone and points at me like it's a threat.

"Go away, go away" I pray to the butterflies when the doors are closed, taking me to the ground floor.
What has he done to me? I'm almost turning soft. I'm determined to not let that happen! A man isn't allowed to make me soft.

I park my car in the parking lot of the doctors office after a drive that seems like it was only five minutes because of all the cursing at myself from turning soft.

"Natalie Rushman?" I hear a voice say after a couple of minutes in the waiting room.
I look up.
"That's me" I say and get up. Fury have had people fixing all my personal details so I can use fake details in public places, even though an increasing amount of people knows my true identity after I had to speak up after the Rumlow-thing.

I follow the woman who called my name into a small office, and I can feel the excitement bubble inside of me. This is real. I look around in the office with baby posters and gear to babies and pregnancy.

"Take a seat" the doctor says and I follow her order.
"So you suspect pregnancy?" She asks as she puts on her rubber gloves.
"I do, because I took a test that showed positive, but I was sterilized in my teens, so I wanted to make sure" I say.
"Well then it's highly unlikely, but not entirely impossible. Have you had any medical issues lately that could also be a factor to the symptoms, I assume you're experiencing?" She asks and looks at me.
"I was recently shot in the stomach, but I had symptoms before then as well" I say.
"I'm sorry about that, let us just take a look then" she says.

"There sure was a fetus" she says after a little while.
"Really?" I ask excited. "Wait...was?" I ask when I realize what she said.
"Was. But it wasn't the bullet that killed it, the fetus was dead, the bullet never hit it. I'm sorry Miss Rushman. Now I've only seen supposedly sterilized women getting pregnant despite of their sterilization three times, but the same thing happened to two of them, and the third one had a high risk pregnancy, and had a baby with a lot of medical issues, so it's definitely not uncommon. The symptoms you were experiencing after the death of the fetus were most likely your brain still thinking there was one. It's a common phenomenon, and chances of you getting pregnant ever again are extremely slim, like a two percent chance. But nevertheless I'm very sorry about this one" she says and gives me a sad smile.
"Thank you anyways" I say with a smile, but the bit of excitement, the tiny ray of hope I was holding on to has disappeared like dew to the sun.