I'll Always Love You - A Romanogers Fanfic

38

STEVE'S POV

I traveled to London with Sam for Peggy's funeral.
It was a beautiful service, and I hate myself for thinking about Natasha a couple of times during.

I haven't talked to her since the incident in the stairwell, and it's best that way. I should spend this time on remembering Peggy, but I just miss Nat so much, and I wish she was here to get me through it. She'd definitely know how to calm me down.

"Hey!" Sam snaps his fingers in front of my eyes, and I zone back into the real world.
"Were you thinking about Sharon, that apparently is Peggy's niece, or were you thinking about Peggy, or were you thinking about Natasha? Man, you need to solve your lady problems" he chuckles and pats my shoulder
"Sam, don't talk about multiple women in a church" I hiss at him.
"Then let's leave? What are we still doing here anyway? The service ended 15 minutes ago" he says and looks around, in the now, empty church.
"Just go ahead, I'll catch up" I say with a tiny forced smile.
"You better, I don't want to wait outside a church for too long, and when you get out I'll talk you through the lady problems" he says with a smile.
"Because you've had so many, so you know?" I ask and smile, a little more true this time.
"You'd be surprised man" he says and leaves the church.

I sigh and put my hands in my pockets and look up to the ceiling.

I miss Peggy. All the time we didn't have together, all the time we should've had.
But had I not been an ice block for several decades I wouldn't have met Natasha.
I scold myself internally for once again thinking about Natasha instead of Peggy, but I don't know what it is about that Russian redhead. I'm just so unbelievably in love with her.

"No Steve. Peggy, think about Peggy instead of Natasha, think about Peggy" I mumble to myself, and I recall everything I remember about my time with Peggy, until I stop when I hear the sound of high heels on the church floor.

Natasha.
Has she gotten more beautiful since I last saw her? Or do I just miss her so much, that she automatically looks more beautiful now than ever?

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NATASHA'S POV

I hate to admit to myself that I've missed Steve like crazy these past three days.
I've danced for hours everyday, locking myself in my room and just danced around until I fell asleep with the nightmares that came back immediately. I luckily haven't had any bad ones yet.
But the dancing didn't help as it usually does. All I could think about was what Steve had said, and I was furious with him. I even broke two lamps and one potted plant in anger.
But I've missed him. So much. And I knew I had to do something, I knew that at least I, had to clean up after what I said.

So here I am. In London. To tell him that I really am sorry about his loss. To let him know, that I didn't regret being with him.

He looks up as he hears my steps. From the distance I can see his beautiful blue eyes. He looks absolutely miserable, and I want more than anything to just run to him and kiss him, but I can't.
It's pathetic enough that I cried over him the first night, I need to find a way to be around him without feeling the need to surrender myself to him, like some pathetic chick that lives for a man and cries about him every night.

He looks at me as I get closer, and then at the portrait of Peggy.
"When I came out of the ice, I thought everyone I had known was gone. Then I found out she was alive" he says in a calm voice and looks back at me. "I was just lucky to have her" he continues in the same tone.
"She had you back, too" I say, and for a moment it feels like before we broke up.

"Who else signed?" He asks, and the moment ends just as fast as it begun.
"Tony, Rhodey, Vision" I say with a nod and looks straight forward to not look him in the eyes. He knows I haven't changed my mind, so luckily I don't have to say that I agree with Tony out loud again.
"Clint?" He asks and looks at me, but I don't look at him.
I smack my tongue. "Says he's retired" I say and finally look back into his blue eyes. It's hard to know that I'll never get to spend hours looking into them again as we sometimes did. We'd just get lost in each other's eyes, and I would feel like everything was gonna be alright.