Once In A While

Chapter 37: An Eye For An Eye

The flight was unbearable.

We all sat in silence, minds wandering off to the previous events- how in only a matter of minutes our plans had alternated, our numbers reduced. Tear-stained cheeks, quivering lips, sorrowful eyes, and trembling hands. It was at that point when I understood how far deep into this rabbit hole we had descended- death, in all its forms and intricacies- possibly unable to ever crawl out of it alive.

A soldier cannot go without thinking about death, that is certain, as it's all we ever see on the battlefield, really. Faces you once laughed with, shared childhood stories, longed for freedom and peace with, comforted each other during difficult times, now beaten to an unrecognizable extent. You can claim you got used to it, but the truth is, you never really do.

With Hange now gone, Armin had been left to fill their shoes- challenging, that was.

"Alright," He said as he joined us in the main area of the flying boat, sitting on the floor, "Let's discuss our plan."

According to Captain Levi's and Pieck's observations, Armin was able to draw a rough sketch of Eren's Titan Form; it was huge as we remembered, all bones and no skin at all. Pieck proposed that if necessary, Armin could always blow Eren up, using his own Titan abilities- he reluctantly agreed. Levi said that perhaps we could find and kill Zeke, since he used the Founder through Eren.

"We had to kill hoards of our comrades to be able to get this flying boat up in the air... So the least we can do is fight so all of their deaths won't be meaningless. I am ready to do whatever it takes." Jean spoke up, trusting in Armin's plans.

"I had to shoot people we knew from when we were kids today... I made their faces unrecognizable... All while they yelled at me, how they were saving the world and I was a traitor..." Connie murmured, his head hanging low. "Hey, Reiner... I can now imagine how tough it must have been for you, Bert and Annie... I am sorry."

"My sins are beyond redemption... I doubt I'll ever be able to forgive myself after all I've done, even if I manage to save the rest of humanity, so let's at least save what's left of humanity, together." Reiner said, placing a hand on Connie's shoulder.

"You're right... We all are murderers, but we still have to keep going." I said, fidgeting in my place.

"That's true... Reiner, we're the same. I never had any right to blame you, for anything. I became a murderer in order to save others..." Jean looked at the boy he had beat up not that long ago, and I could tell at that moment, he felt less rage fueling inside of him- I did, too.

"Eren told me the same thing, that night in Liberio. I kind of think I understand what he wants... Eren might possibly want us to stop him, no?" Reiner looked at us, then his stare landed on Mikasa;

"What do you mean?" She asked in return.

"Well, that's just how it feels to me."

"Eren can control of the Titans, using the Founder's abilities... But he's still letting us use our own abilities, freely... I think you're right, Reiner.." Armin looked up, as he got up from the ground; before we could speculate further on this train of thought, our surroundings changed- it was that place, the Paths, again.

"What, he hear us or something?" Levi mused.

"Eren! We need to talk!" Armin yelled with his hands cupping his mouth.

"You've done enough! I am sure no one will put a hand on Paradis for centuries to come! That's just how much fear and destruction you've caused! You can still end this now with a peaceful pact! You were right, we all are sorry for pushing you to this!" Armin used all his strength to be heard, soon joined by the others, as they tried to gain Eren's attention.