Once In A While

Chapter 38: Cruel World

The sound of crashing waves filled my ears, the smell of salty water making me feel at home.

"Much like Armin, you seem to like this place a lot, don't you?" Eren mused behind me, and I turned around to face him; his expression was soft, nothing like the one he wore the last few times we had encountered him.

"Yes, it brings me comfort... And it's calming, too." I smiled at him.

"You know, at first, I didn't really like you." He walked up to me, and I understood what he meant.

"I mean seriously, who would willingly put themselves through hell to hang out with that horse face?" He rolled his eyes at the mention of Jean, and at that moment it felt like I was having a conversation with the Eren I grew up with.

"You've told me that before." I chuckled, and he nodded.

"But I don't dislike you, really. And that time I called you a pushover, I didn't really mean it. I was just trying to get a reaction out of Jean, since he would always defend you."

"Well, I'm glad you don't hate me, Eren. I don't hate you, either."

"You love Jean too much. Sometimes I feel like you give him way more than what he could ever give back to you."

"That's not true-"

"I didn't finish. I know the feeling's mutual, and I may want to punch that guy in the face sometimes, but you're both my friends, in the end. So I'm happy you two are together." He concluded.

"Thank you... I am sorry it has come to this, Eren... You don't deserve any of this..." I turned to him, who seemed rather sad now.

"Well... After this battle, I won't be the only one losing important things to me... I just did what I had to do for my friends... But I couldn't save them all."

"Eren, does that mean any of us won't...?" He was gone before I could get an answer.

----

The wind rushed through the windows, the noise of someone shuffling around the room seemed to be enough to wake me up.

It took more than a few seconds for my eyesight to readjust to the light that lit up the room, slowly revealing more and more of my surroundings. It wasn't the bedroom I was used to wake up in, but I could tell it was the infirmary- rows of beds next to each other, some accompanied but most of them empty, large windows with washed out blue curtains. The infirmary.

Well, after I had readjusted as well as I could, I came to realize that I was in immense pain- half of my face felt numb, and my body felt weak, fragile and heavy against the mattress. I turned to my right, and to my surprise, there was someone sitting in a chair next to me- they'd been quiet the entire time I'd woken up, that's why I was taken aback, I figured.

"You're up." He said, his eyes slightly softening as they looked at me.

"Hi, Connie... Nice to see you, too. As good as I can see you... With only one eye." I replied, and after a failed attempt to sit up, retreated to my previous position so I wouldn't pressure myself more.

"Have I been out for a long time?" I asked him- I had no recollection of any events prior to my injury, so I was worried I'd slept for days, weeks even.

"No, not really... About half a day. Less than expected. You lost your left eye, but the nurses made sure that you had no infection. Your other wounds seem to be healing okay." His reply was, off, for some odd reason; I couldn't tell why, but there was something bothering him.

"Say now... I don't remember anything, really. What... Happened?"

He tensed up at my question; pausing for a minute or two, as if he recollected his thoughts, trying to prepare himself to fill me in. I thought that, well, for us to be alive, it wouldn't have ended badly, right? How else would we still be here?