Once In A While

Chapter 36: Departure

During the rest of our trip, I drifted in and out of a restless sleep; The medicine provided was almost enough to keep the pain at bay, but not enough to stop it completely. I wasn't the one in the worst condition, though; Captain Levi, despite being able to move around on his own -well, attempting to, having to limp and use the wall as support- was still suffering, silently so. He refused to sit still.

"Sir, you need to keep resting!" I heard Armin say, from further down the deck, a limping Levi approaching him, with his back turned to us- us being Pieck and I, after I realized I couldn't sleep my injury off any longer.

"You still want me in asleep in bed? If I rest any longer, you all will forget I even exist." He grunted, pushing himself forward.

"We are going to interrogate Yelena about Eren, you could come." Armin sighed, eyeing me and Pieck.

"I think I'll pass. I will go to check up on the others, see if I can... I don't know, help them someway. If you find out anything important, just fill me in." I waved at them, dismissing myself.

There was a slight breeze when I excited the ship, approaching the place nearby where I spotted Connie, Jean and Reiner helping Onyankopon to load the flying boat with fuel. Sure, I couldn't physically help them, not with a gunshot wound that was still very much fresh, but I could help them with small tasks, I tried to convince myself.

"What are you doing out here? You should be resting." Connie looked up at me, before transporting another barrel with fuel onto the flying boat.

"Couldn't sleep any longer, so I thought I'd drop by and... See whatever it is you're doing." I shrugged my shoulders, eyes searching for Jean- and there he was, climbing down the plane.

"You feeling any better now?" He asked as he stood in front of me, pulling me into gentle hug- it was well received, as reassurance was well-needed in times like this. I pecked his lips, then looked at him;

"Yeah, definitely better. Though it kind of bugs me I'm out of action and all that, you know." A frown took over my face for a mere second, then slowly faded away.

"Can we talk for a moment? Somewhere more private." He side eyed the other boys who were still working, and after earning a nod from me, gently led me to a more secluded area.

"So? What is it?" I asked him, as his mind seemed to wander somewhere else.

"Look (Y/n), I..." He trailed off, his eyes not meeting my own. After a pause, he continued;

"What we're about to do, is very risky, we both know that. Our lives are on the line. And it concerns me... Your condition, I mean. You were shot for fuck's sake. And I don't know what will happen with this reckless plan of ours... We might die and it makes me nauseous to even think about it..." He brought a hand up to his face, brushing away a strand of hair.

"Jean..."

"Sometimes I just wish I could had somehow persuaded you into joining the MPs or the Garrison back then. You'd be happier, safer... I wouldn't have to worry about your well being on a scale like this..." He sighed, finally locking eyes with me.

"Jean, it was my decision to follow you here. We did it for him, remember? I don't think my consciousness would have allowed me to live in the inner state, enjoying all the privileges a high rank could offer me, while knowing that I not only didn't avenge my friend's death, but left my other friend on his own too. So, don't overthink this. You couldn't have changed my mind. Safer, yeah, I could have been, but happier? I doubt it. If it's with you, I'm okay. I've always been." I took his hand in mine, looking at his honey colored eyes that looked at me so desperately now.

"And sure, we don't know what the future has in store for us. We might as well be heading to our deaths... But then again, isn't that what we always have done? It's part of being in the Survey Corps. With that being said, please don't worry about me anymore. What will be, will be. We can't predict the future, but we can work to make it better... So please do your best out there, because we're the only ones left that have a chance to save humanity! And... We've promised each other a life together... So don't forget that, either. Perhaps we could redeem ourselves... Then maybe we could enjoy some peace, isn't that right?" I smiled softly at him, as he brought me in for another embrace.

"I really hope this works out... It might sound selfish but I really want enjoy some peace with you." He mumbled.

"It's not selfish... You've fought for years, you deserve peace... Living in this hell of a place, defending Eldia... It's not an easy job, what we've gotten ourselves into. But just endure it a little longer, okay? We're all tired of this endless feud. But we can end it, here and now." We pulled away, and before we headed back to the rest of the Scouts, I told him;

"Sorry for turning this sappy all of a sudden but... We might get separated during the battle and I just want you to know that no matter what happens, I never regretted any of this... I never regretted us, I mean. You mean so much to me and I can't even describe it with words, Jean." He smiled at that.

"Me too. We're living through this. For each other, right? Like we've always had done. In the forest battles, in Shiganshina, in Liberio...Now. This isn't any different." He reassured me, as we returned to the plane.

---

"Everybody, we're to leave soon, so inspect your gear and make sure everything's functioning." Hange ordered us, as we checked our ODM Gear.

Annie wouldn't be joining us- too tired of fighting she was, so she would be staying back with the Azumabito and little Falco and Gabi, retreating somewhere safer. I understood her reasons for withdrawing, wanting to spend her last few years peacefully, so I didn't interfere; I waved her off along with the rest of us, a frown slightly forming on my face- less and less we remained, the 104th graduates.

The sounds of the fuel tank filling up were shortly interrupted by gunshots- a few here and there, the Azumabito's mechanics panicked, but alas, it all came to a stop; Mikasa had shot whoever the attacker was.

"Wait... Floch?" I slowly bent down next to Hange, who was inspecting his injury- lethal, it seemed.

"Don't go... Please... Everybody... Our island... Will be killed... Our devil... Is our only hope..." He managed to say, words getting mixed with violent coughs of blood. He was gone shortly after.

I didn't know how to feel- You see, Floch and I were not remotely close, but he always seemed to be there during major events of my life, like that day in Shiganshina, for example. He had a different ideology from the rest of us, he stood up for his beliefs, and that was what costed him his life, in the end.

"You're right, Floch... Today we might not succeed, but maybe someday." Hange said, getting up. I exchanged looks with Jean, who was at my side, then closed Floch's eyes for the final time, before getting up. The Rumbling was closer than ever.

An argument broke out in front of the Titans approaching as at a concerning rate. Armin said there was nothing we could do about it, so he would stay behind to slow them down- buy us time to escape, if you will.

Of course, Reiner was against this idea; to him, Armin was the one to save humanity, the only one who stood a chance against Eren. So he offered up himself instead.

​​​​​"Enough people! I am the one who brought us here... No matter how many comrades of mine died... I kept moving forward. It's time I take responsibility for that." Hange silenced them, then resumed;

"Armin Arlert, I hereby appoint you 15th Commander of the Survey Corps. The position demands an unyielding desire for understanding. There's no better person for this role than you. I am leaving them to you. And that's it for now. I'll see you guys later!" They smiled at us, but we were all too shocked to reciprocate the gesture.

"Oh, Levi is your subordinate now, so work with him to the bone, will ya?" They waved at us, as they walked further down to meet with Levi for a last time.

We all remained in silence as Hange took off a minute later, sacrificing themselves for our cause. And just like that, the 14th Commander of the Survey Corps was gone.