Burning Desire (Alastor X Reader)

Part 2 / Chapter 5: Move on

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Yeah... the Author cried

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The days passed slowly. A few guests had moved into the hotel despite all Vox's propaganda. Boris had not come out of his room, still programming his software to silence Vox for a while in order to help you and Charlie to develop the hotel more easily.

You went to see him a few times to bring him water, food, or just a little company. The poor wolf-dog looked just as exhausted as you did. He asked you how you were doing, and you said "Fine" . However, you both knew that was a lie. In fact, neither of you were doing well. Boris was drowning in plans to move on and forget that the friend he had known no longer existed.

For your part, you were quite absent when you spoke with the members of the hotel, preferring short, simple sentences to keep the conversation to a minimum.

Your daily routine had become quite routine, you got up, helped Al prepare breakfast in an almost deathly silence, sorted the papers Charlie gave you, did some simple tasks to help Niffty in his work, played a moment with Nikolai as a break, then you contacted Orso and Fos to keep yourself informed of what was going on in your neighborhood and of future press articles. Finally you would have dinner with the hotel staff and then help Niffty and Al with the dishes before going up to bed. It was always the same. You did your chores like a robot and your lifeless expression sometimes looked like a ghost.

To Alastor's dismay, you were as empty and bland as a wandering soul. He had tried to get your attention several times, but you only responded with a weak smile and a brief answer.

You had also become a very small eater, it was rare that you finished half your plate. You drank and ate less and less. There were days when he would see you still glued to your desk working late into the night, pushing back your bedtime.

The royal doctors were reassuring about your health, however, they often chastised you for your stubbornness in working and avoiding taking your medication as it slowed your recovery considerably.

Your defense was quite simple, your medication was preventing you from concentrating and making you tired, thus hindering your work. Getting you to take them was a feat, even Nikolai couldn't do it every time.

Your routine lasted for two long weeks, there was only one extermination during this time. Fortunately, everyone was at the hotel or in a safe place when it happened. You, on the other hand, were in your room staring out the window with a blank stare and trying to ignore the screams of horror and agony of the demons echoing in the streets. At one point you saw the BF/N firebird in the distance. The sight of the fiery raptor of course sent shivers down your spine, it was as if it was in front of you again, ready to obliterate you.

BF/N had not left your dreams or nightmares either, the few times you slept it was to relive the extermination over and over again, to relive and hear again the anger of the man you loved, to relive the pain of that poisonous blade that tore and devoured your skin, to feel again that infamous pain of your heart being torn apart. Many times the dream would end with your death and the cold laughter of your boyfriend. There was never a good ending, never a hope of a potential reconciliation. No matter what you said to him, no matter what you did, you always ended up dying at his feet before being burned, or stabbed.

These macabre dreams were one of the reasons you didn't want to sleep or even take those fucking pills that made you tired. Sleeping became a painful torture. Sleeping was reliving and remembering. The only time you could "forget" your past was when you were working. However, there were times when even the work was insufficient and left you with a heavy void in your chest. You couldn't forget, no matter how much you wanted to, no matter how much you knew that going back was impossible. No matter how many times you got back into bed, no matter how many tears you shed from all the pain that was eating away at your heart, you just couldn't forget it for very long. Even if you managed not to think about BF/N for a day, your mind would force you to remember him through your short nights.