The meaning of protecting you with my life

Long wait

Jiang Yanli knew she should be resting so she would be strong enough to immediately get out of the bed and be ready to leave as soon as her brothers returned. She however could not find it in herself to do so, only falling into a fitful sleep here and there, waking up quickly each time. She spent most of her awake time staring at the door. Every small noise made her heart start racing, hoping that Wei Wuxian had found Jiang Cheng and they were both now coming back for her.

Unfortunately, she had been disappointed every single time, there was still no sign of her brothers even though it was already noon of the second day. She was almost ready to give up and just go to sleep, surely they would wake her up once they were back. Still, hope was such a treacherous little thing, hard to completely extinguish.

So when she heard the stairs creaking, she immediately shot up and looked towards the door again. Unlike before, the steps were now getting closer and then stopped right in front of the room. The visitor seemed to have been hesitating until the door finally opened and she saw a tired looking and dishevelled Jiang Cheng coming in. He closed the door behind himself.

He was alone and Jiang Yanli had to wonder where Wei Wuxian had run off to now. She was however not all that afraid for him, he was probably getting some more supplies for their travels.

"A-Cheng!" she called out happily and Jiang Cheng approached the bed with heavy footsteps, falling down to his knees next to it. Jiang Yanli was getting nervous now, she had not expected this kind of behaviour. Then again, her youngest brother was probably still shaken and needed support.

She smiled at him and took one of his hands into hers, tracing small circles into his palm. She could feel how tense his muscles were and she wanted to know why that was.

"A-Cheng, what happened?" she asked gently, only the tiniest undertone of worry making it into her voice.

"Sister," Jiang Cheng said brokenly, "I am sorry."

Jiang Yanli smiled a bit more now, thinking that her brother was apologizing for his angry outburst inside the boat earlier and then his little running away stunt: "Silly boy, you do not have to apologize."

Jiang Cheng shook his head violently and looked her into the eyes for the first time since stepping into the room. Jiang Yanli was immediately taken aback. There was so much pain in her younger brother's eyes that she just wanted to hug him and never let go. She actually leaned forward to do just that, her fever completely forgotten when her sibling needed her, but her brother was not done talking.

"Sister, I was foolish. I blamed Wei Wuxian even though it was not his fault, at least not entirely, and now he is gone."

Jiang Yanli was alarmed at once. It was nothing new for her brother to regret his often rash words, especially when said in anger to Wei Wuxian. It was what he had said after that that made her fear resurface.

"Gone? What happened, A-Cheng?" she quickly prompted.

"I..." Jiang Cheng choked back a sob, "When we were coming back to the town, I was distracted and did not notice a patrol of Wen sect soldiers. Wei Wuxian did. He shoved me into an abandoned alley before they noticed me and then run off. I searched for him for almost two hours but I could not find him anywhere. Those Wen dogs had disappeared as well. Sister, I am afraid they had captured him..."

Jiang Yanli's chest was now so tight that she could barely breathe. She could imagine Wei Wuxian doing that, she knew that when choosing between his own and someone else's happiness and needs, he would always choose the latter. She loved him for that, but at the same time, it had always scared her a bit and she had been afraid it would one day end up in his own doom. Had that day come today?

No, surely not! Wei Wuxian was strong, he could take care of a handful of soldiers, even without his sword. It would be fine; he must have just lured them away from the town. Probably into the deep forest around where he would be able to ambush them. He was probably having fun toying with them right now. Any minute, he would come back to the room, his usual smile on his lips, looking as if nothing happened and they would, just like usual just forgive him for making them worry. Yes, that must have been it, she was not ready to admit any other possibility.

She patted Jiang Cheng's head lightly and tried to reassure him: "A-Xian would be just fine. He is strong. I am sure he will come back for us in a while and we could all go to Meishan together."

If anything, it made her brother only sob harder, clutching her hand that it was almost painful now: "Sister, I... I had said some really mean things to him. I had even hit him..."

Well, this was nothing out of the ordinary either. "A-Cheng, it will be fine. I will help you to apologize as soon as he comes back, alright?"

"But, Sister," Jiang Cheng tried to go against her and she could see that this was bothering him more than any previous fight with his brother he had ever had. "What I said... I should not have done that. I knew it even at that time but I was too angry... I blamed him that he had ruined our family. I know it must have hurt him..."

"Oh, A-Cheng..." Jiang Yanli sighed and scoped her brother into her arms at once. She could see that he greatly regretted his words. She also knew that Wei Wuxian would have truly been hurt by such an accusation, she had seen enough of times the same scenario, only with her mother in her brother's place, and it always left the then small boy dejected for days.

"I will be fine; A-Xian will forgive you." She knew that for a fact, Wei Wuxian always did. "Let us just wait for him to return and then we can handle everything, hm?"

She tried to sound cheerful but she could not not notice a feeling of dread starting in her guts and slowly spreading. Although she wanted to believe very much that Wei Wuxian would be just fine and would come find them soon, there was also another possibility for his and the soldiers' absence. One, that Jiang Yanli did not want to think about at first but which she had to consider more and more seriously as hours passed.

In the evening, Jiang Cheng brought her some pancakes which he found in the small bag Wei Wuxian had left on the table. She only managed to take a few bites, her brother seemed to do the same. Then he made her take medicine against her fever and she fell asleep.

It was already way into the evening and there was still no sign of Wei Wuxian anywhere. As her eyes were closing against her will, her hope was slowly disappearing from her heart.