The meaning of protecting you with my life

Overheard rumours

Wei Wuxian woke up to hushed voices talking not too far away from him. For a second, he was disappointed, he had hoped for the love song Lan Zhan composed for him to be the first thing he heard. But that was fine, his beloved was probably just sitting next to the bed and talking with someone.

However, when Wei Wuxian opened his eyes and looked to the side, Lan Zhan was nowhere to be seen. He was not by the side of his bed nor anywhere else in the room. He felt slightly disappointed. Had they just not declared love to each other? Where could have the Second Jade gone at a time like this? Wei Wuxian needed him by his side, he could already feel the resentful energy becoming more agitated and it was taking him a lot of effort to ignore the screaming in his head. When Lan Zhan had been here, for some reason, the noise was just not as disturbing and hard to manage.

He was even more disappointed when he realized that none of the two voices he was hearing from outside of the room and which presumably woke him up, was Lan Zhan's. Despite himself, he focused on them. He did not really mean to eavesdrop but anything was better than to listen to the screams of the resentful energy in his own head.

"...what they say about Senior Martial Brother. It is quite sad really. And disturbing as well."

Now that Wei Wuxian knew that the voices were talking about him – and he could still not place them but at least he knew that no one from his family was amongst them – he could not help himself but to listen further. Although he did not want to know what was being said about him as it would surely not be too pleasant given his use of demonic cultivation, he wanted to hear the rumours being spread at the same time. Perhaps it would give him some idea about what had been happening in the cultivation world while he had been unconscious. No one told him anything yet.

"Yes, I know. The three other great sects got a piece of Yin iron each, presumably for safekeeping, but everyone knows it was just to keep the power balance in the cultivation world intact. And since there are only three pieces, the Yunmeng Jiang sect got Senior Martial Brother. And all just because he can apparently control the pieces."

"That makes him a really terrifying figure, do you not think so?"

"No! Why would I? I know Senior Martial Brother is now a demonic cultivator, but we knew him personally. We have known him even before, he is a good person no matter what anyone may say. I will not believe the rumours about him being ruthless and cruel for no reason..."

"Say what you may. But I had seen him during the Sunshot campaign. He really was terrifying... Hopefully he will change back to his old self again now that the war is over."

"Of course he will! With so many eyes watching him, he would have to. The Lanling Jin sect had after all given an ultimatum: if Senior Martial Brother does anything suspicious, the Yunmeng Jiang sect will have to answer to the whole cultivation world..."

Wei Wuxian felt a tear slip down his cheek. He did not want to listen anymore; he had heard enough. He found out that now he actually preferred the screams of the resentful energy. It was something he knew and something which could not really hurt him. It had never caused him as much pain as the voices from the other side of the door had just done.

He did not blame those who were speaking, of course not. It was not their fault that he had become a demonic cultivator and they could not take any blame for his actions during the Sunshot campaign. He had been the one who chose to walk the unorthodox path and he was the one who had to shoulder the weight of the consequences.

It was just that it hurt knowing that the disciples – for it must have been a pair or perhaps more of the Yunmeng Jiang sect disciples who Wei Wuxian used to train judging from the way they called him – seemed to not be sure about his intentions and feared him. After all, had they just not said that they would only accept him as his old self? He was not certain that he could even go back to those days though.

Now he understood everything. It made perfect sense that there had always been someone with him in the room when he woke up, they must have been keeping an eye on him so he would not misbehave and cause trouble for the Yunmeng Jiang sect. Those two outside also must have been there to make sure he would stay obediently in his room, far from any prying eyes. The cultivation world really must have been terrified of him if they had made an ultimatum.

Wei Wuxian wiped away the tear and steeled himself. He had been confused about the way Uncle Jiang and Madame Yu had behaved. But that too was now making sense. They had to maintain the power balance between the sects and they could not have Wei Wuxian leaving the Yunmeng Jiang sect or Lotus Pier for that matter. If anyone learned about it, he would be an easy target, especially if he could no longer use demonic cultivation in order to not offend the other great sects.

He sighed. It seemed like his life had just gotten so much more complicated in a span of a single minute. Or perhaps that was not quite true. He did not know for sure for how long he had been unconscious but it was more than clear that his fate had been decided during that time. It was only that he had learned about it now, everyone else already knew.

Wei Wuxian was now extremely grateful to his siblings for keeping the truth away from him, he could tell that they just wanted to give him a moment of peace to recover. He wondered whether Lan Zhan had also known about all of this. Wei Wuxian made sure to not think too much about it lest he would start doubting the Second Jade's feelings for him and all of this would hurt so much more.

Suddenly, Wei Wuxian stilled, stricken by panic. What was he about to do now? No one told him but judging from the conversation he had just overheard, he was supposed to become a bargaining chip in the inter-sect politics. Actually, he had already become one unknowingly.

Wei Wuxian took a deep breath and closed his eyes, considering what was expected of him in his new position. It went without saying that he could not use demonic cultivation anymore and had to pick up his sword again. A pained smirk appeared on his lips. That was easier said than done; without a golden core, he could never be a cultivator like everyone else, he would have to pretend.

He would also have to try his best to act like he had been in the past to not scare away the disciples. Madame Yu would not take it kindly if he ruined the only chance the Yunmeng Jiang sect had to rebuilt itself. He would also most probably have to pick up his position of the head disciple again to prove his loyalty to his sect and family. He would have to continue taking care of his duties. No one should doubt where his loyalty was standing and that he would never betray his family.

Wei Wuxian took another deep breath. It would be very difficult, maybe even impossible to achieve all of this without ticking off the rest of the cultivation world or putting his family and sect in danger.

Then, he opened his eyes, his facial features hardened. Yes, it would be impossible to do all of this without a golden core and with the resentful energy still influencing him. But he was from the Yunmeng Jiang clan; what kind of head disciple would he be if he did not lead by example? Yes, attempting the impossible it was from now on.

He would protect his family and clan with everything he got. That must have surely been the reason why he was still alive and back in Lotus Pier.