The meaning of protecting you with my life

In Nightless City dungeons

Yu Ziyuan woke up slowly, for a while, she was disoriented and could not remember where she was. Only until she realized that someone was holding her in their arms, running fingers through her hair. She immediately relaxed into the motion. She knew it was her husband trying to sooth her and offering comfort if she wanted to accept it.

They were in this cell for who knew how long already. There were no windows and it was hard to count days – or weeks or months? – when everything they could go by were the irregular meals which were being thrown into the cell. They have both long abandoned any pride and were happily eating off the ground, they were too hungry and inedia could only sustain them for so long. Their clothes were now nothing more than rags, hardly able to cover their battered bodies.

Sometimes, one of them, or both at the same time, would be taken out and either brought before Wen Ruohan for questioning or for the simple pleasure of being shown off as prisoners in chains, or to another cell where they would be questioned with more painful methods. Despite everything, they would never reveal their children's whereabouts, if they were even known to them at this point, or any war intelligence. The last thing they wanted to do was give the Qishan Wen sect any advantage in the war which had now truly erupted.

Despite the dire circumstances they had found themselves in, they had been allowed a little happiness to sustain them. Luckily, they were kept together in a small cell and they have never been this close in their lives. They took into comforting each other and after long years of living in a separate quarters, they finally started to sleep side by side again.

They were only just surviving and they knew it, but there was nothing they could do. They were never told about happenings in the world outside of their prison cell. It was mortifying to be left in the dark about how the war was progressing, and more importantly, if their children were save. Had they managed to run away and hide? Had they joined the war efforts? Were they alive at this point?

No, Yu Ziyuan could not let herself succumb to despair. She had to remain hopeful, that was all she had left, Jiang Fengmian and the fleeting hope that Wei Wuxian had been able to protect her children and take them somewhere safe.

Suddenly, the door flew open. Yu Ziyuan could hardly suppress a shiver, this was too soon, she had just woken up after one of her questioning sessions. She was not prepared for another one, or for Jiang Fengmian to be dragged away from her for that matter, she need his comfort right now. Especially because she had once again started thinking about the children and she could feel her eyes becoming teary and her very soul hurting.

She could feel Jiang Fengmian's body stiffen and he gasped for air a little. She could not help her curiosity and looked up. Instead of only guards, Wen Chao was now standing in their cell. She was staring at him completely dumbfounded. This was the first time anyone from the Qishan Wen clan had come personally to meet them in their prison, they only ever had them dragged outside of the cell; they had mocked them all too many times for not being able to stand the stench in the small room. Well, it was all their fault in the end since they did not let her or her husband to clean themselves and there was only a bucket in one corner as a bathroom.

Wen Chao apparently did not count with this fact and he was now making a disgusted face. It somehow satisfied Yu Ziyuan a bit to see him in this little discomfort. She drew herself closer to her husband and waited to see what other horrors had their captors prepared for them.

Instead of dragging them out from the cell or torturing them on the spot, Wen Chao sneered and looked at them with a cruel spark in his eyes: "No need to get up, just stay down as true slaves should."

They did not react, they were already used to insults and it did little to them. The next words however cut them deep. It is said that words could be more powerful than swords and more painful than even the harshest torture, and they were now proven correct.

"I came here in the goodness of my heart to inform you about the fate of your children. I know you had been anxious to know what had become of them. So Let me tell you; we had captured that pest Wei Wuxian and he is now dead. As for the other two, we know where they are and we are going to fetch them now. Will it not be a touching reunion if we let you all meet in your cell before executing them? I am positive they would love to see how low their parents had fallen before dying. Would you like to watch or would you prefer I send someone to tell you after it will be done?"

Wen Chao did not really wait for any reply from their side, it was clear he just came to toy with them and to cruelly laugh about their misfortune. And laugh he did as he left the frozen couple alone and went away.

Yu Ziyuan was trembling all over. She could not stop herself from crying now that it was just her and her husband in their cell again. It was too much for her to process, it hurt beyond belief. Jiang Fengmian, although surely shaken himself had scoped her closer to himself and rocked her back and forth to console her in her grief. It helped, but only a little.

It had been better when she had not known what had become of her children. Then, she could have at least entertained the smallest of hopes that they were all safe and sound, now, even this hope had been taken away from her. She felt completely empty, and even emptier still as her tears refused to stop and were taking with them even the last parts of her soul.

Jiang Fengmian was whispering something to her and it took such a long while to will herself to actually hear what he was saying: "...Ziyuan, it is fine. He came only to torture us. Perhaps the children are still safe somewhere out there." It would have been a lot more reassuring if her husband's voice would not be trembling as it had and if she could not feel his tears on her shoulder.

She hiccupped and wailed like a small child, she did no longer care to be seen as weak by her husband, this whole ordeal had helped them to open up to each other. She could feel guilt gnawing at her gut, if the children had really been captured and Wei Wuxian was now dead, it was all her fault.

"No, you do not understand, Fengmian. It was me. I had whipped A-Ying with Zidian before the attack on Lotus Pier, he was injured! And then he had shielded A-Cheng from Wen Zhuliu, and I did not even make sure he was alright before ordering him to protect A-Cheng and A-Li with his life. I am sure that foolish boy had done just that, I had repeated this line to him so many times before, I knew he had taken it as his personal mission to protect the children. I should have been a mother to him but instead, I had always treated his as a servant. He must have despised me...

I should have never said that it was all his fault; it was not, the Wens would have come either way. But I had been just so angry... Fengmian, he is dead now and it is all my fault! I had always been so harsh on him; he will never get to know that I actually came to care for him as another son... And now even A-Cheng and A-Li... I cannot take it anymore..."

She now broke down completely. She did no longer care that this was exactly what Wen Chao had been aiming for. She did not care if he was watching from the outside of the cell and was thriving in her despair. She was hurting, terribly so, and she was not sure she would be able to go on if Wen Chao's threats were indeed true and they were already capturing Jiang Cheng and Jiang Yanli.