The meaning of protecting you with my life

Complicated feelings

Lan Wangji had been on pins and needles ever since the rescue operation had started and he and Jiang Cheng had sneaked into Nightless City in search for the indicated inn. No, that was not quite right; he had been restless and wanting to have Wei Ying at his side even before that. He could still not forget how the Yunmeng Jiang sect heir trashed in his arms and angrily shouted at him about how they had all decided to just abandon his brother. There was no lie in that statement. He still felt shame when thinking about the first rescue operation.

He had known even before it had started that Wei Ying had been running the greatest risk and that he had decided to put himself in danger willingly for others' sake. While Lan Wangji admired and liked this trait of Wei Ying's, he could not help but to worry. And his worries and horror sky rocked when Jiang Cheng had told him about the missing golden core. It had been the first time in years that Lan Wangji had cried.

He now understood fully well why Wei Ying had picked up demonic cultivation and why he had been so cold to him. He had surely wanted to hide the fact that he had no golden core anymore, for whatever reason that was. He must have thought that Lan Wangji wanted to take him back to Cloud Recesses to imprison and punish him there. He must have misunderstood the Second Jade's intentions. Lan Wangji did not want anything more than to protect him and help him. Though he apparently failed to communicate this clearly enough.

At first, he had wanted to help Wei Ying to let go of demonic cultivation and pick up his sword again, now he knew better. He would never take away the only protection that Wei Ying had. If he could not use his sword anymore, he needed something to help him get by and to use in case of emergencies. Even if that something was resentful energy. The only problem was that it was harming him and Lan Wangji would have to find a way to minimalize its impacts.

At first, when they had found the other in Yiling, he had been outraged that despite Lan Qiren's best advice, Wei Ying had still turned to demonic cultivation. Lan Wangji knew it was dangerous and he did not want to lose his friend who had suddenly stopped smiling and bugging him as he had been until that point. Well, he said his friend but Wei Ying was much more to him than that.

It took Lan Wangji three months of desperately searching for him to realize that in fact, he started to think of him as his soulmate. Thinking back, he must have realized it even sooner, back when he had tied his forehead ribbon around both their wrists and also in the Cave of the Tortoise of Slaughter, but it had been almost unconscious. He had thought that Wei Ying had just had that influence on people, making them act just as recklessly as he himself did. But now, remembering everything, he had been smitten with the younger boy from the very beginning and his affection had only grown since then.

The realization that he was in fact in love with Wei Ying did not come suddenly, no, it was more of a gradual thing which had fully formed the moment he was flying away from Nightless City, abandoning his husband to his own devices. His heart had broken at that exact moment and it had not been mended until this day. He knew it would only stop hurting when he would have his husband in his arms, finally safe and sound.

He was now glad for the shared forehead ribbon. Even if Wei Ying probably did not know the true meaning, he himself knew it only too well. They had already been promised to each other for a long time, they were husbands, no matter how weird that could sound to others. And Lan Wangji had failed to protect his husband.

After the realization, it had been extremely difficult for him to just stay in the camp, comfortable and safe, while Wei Ying had been fighting their battles for them. He had wanted to storm the Nightless City palace and free his husband at once. Then, he wanted to finally make his true feelings known and confess his love.

He would also have to tell Wei Ying about their marriage. It was making him ashamed that he had not explained it earlier. What if Wei Ying did not want to be in this kind of union with him? What if he would ask Lan Wangji to annul the bond and accept divorce? The Second Jade knew that if Wei Ying would not feel comfortable about the feelings forced on him, Lan Wangji would free him from those shackles even if it would break his own heart all over again. He would never imprison his husband in the same way his father had done to his mother.

The only thing which held him back from joining his husband's side as a prisoner, for he himself would never been able to rescue him, that much he knew himself, were Nie Huisang's reassurances and insistence. The spy the Qinghe Nie sect heir had in Nightless City had been sending them messages every day and stating that Wei Ying had still been alive at the moment of their writing and that he wanted to see his mission through. Lan Wangji trusted his husband, he knew that once he had set his mind on something, there was no convincing him to abandon his convictions. And so he just stayed in the camp together with a very grumpy and eager to spring into action Jiang Cheng, waiting for their chance.

It was finally here and Lan Wangji felt like he could not wait even for a second longer. Still, they had to be very careful while sneaking through the hallways and servants' corridors inside the Nightless City palace following a very nervous looking Wen Ning. They were so close now yet they still had to move slowly in order to avoid being caught. Even though there was a battle raging outside, there were still soldiers and guards in the palace as well.

Lan Wangji had immediately remembered the Qishan Wen sect disciple when he had seen him in the inn. It had been the one which had taken part in the night hunt against the Waterborne Abyss back during the guest lectures in Cloud Recesses. It felt like a lifetime ago when Wei Ying had saved this particular youth. The Second Jade was grateful that it had in fact been someone from the Qishan Wen sect and that the disciple was now on their side, be it because of his life debt or another reason entirely. At least Wei Ying had not been here completely alone.

Finally, they arrived at a closed off door guarded by two soldiers and a swirling cloud of resentful energy. Wen Ning stopped and looked back at Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng with unsure eyes: "Young Master Lan, Young Master Jiang, we are here. Young Master Wei is being held in the room up ahead. The Yin iron is there as well. I can only help you until here, this is the only entrance, I cannot get you inside. I am sorry. If it was only me..."

Wen Ning looked very apologetic so Lan Wangji hurried to reassure him: "Young Master Wen, thank you. We will take it up from here."

Wen Ning nodded, still unsure and nervous. Lan Wangji looked at Jiang Cheng and he did not even have to say anything at all.

They both moved at the same time, each taking one guard and neutralizing him. Then, the Yunmeng Jiang sect heir kicked the door open. They were finally here, ready to rescue Wei Ying. Lan Wangji could only hope that they were not too late.