The meaning of protecting you with my life

Departure from Lotus Pier

Jiang Cheng could not believe what was happening ever since Wang Lingjiao had marched into Lotus Pier and demanded Wei Wuxian being punished. He had been so anguished when his mother had picked up the Zidian and actually started whipping his brother, he had never seen her like that. Sure, ever since his brother came into their lives, she had not liked him too much, but using Zidian on him? That was going overboard. At least she refused to cut his arm when Wen Chao's woman demanded it.

Then again, as she had said, it had been his fault in the first place that the Wens had come into their home. Had he not played a hero and tried to save the Second Master of the Gusu Lan sect, nothing would have happened. He just had to attract unwanted attention of the most powerful cultivation sect, and not in a good way.

Even now, when his mother was, very unusually and out of character for her, hugging him while he was sitting in a small boat, he could hear cries and shouts in the distance, getting closer by the second. No, he did not want to leave without his mother! He wanted his whole family to be together. Why was she sending them away? If they stood side by side, the would surely be able to defeat the invaders in no time; and father was already on his way back too. They just had to be able to stall for a little and everything would be fine.

He could fight, his brother could fight, there was no doubt in his mind that if the two of them stood back to back with his mother, they would be invincible. But no, apparently he was still no good. The weight of Zidian on his finger, although only a small metal ring, was enormous, he felt like he had just been entrusted the whole future of the Yunmeng Jiang sect and he knew he was not ready for that. Why was his mother sending them away and telling his brother to protect him?

He could protect himself just fine! He did not need a baby sitter. All the more that his mother did not ask him to protect Wei Wuxian in turn. It was making his heart hurt even more to remember that he had always been the more talented out of the two of them, be it cultivation or anything else. Was he so inferior to him that his own mother was thinking that he could not protect his brother in turn? It really hurt, very much so.

He could fell tears stinging in his eyes as his mother was looking at him with a strange mix of emotions he had never seen her display so openly. He could tell she genuinely loved him and cared about him, something he had never quite doubted but was unsure of on the best of days. There was however also fear hidden in her eyes and he could not help himself to start panicking all over again. If even his strong mother was afraid of the Wen soldiers' invasion, this must have been serious. She should not send them away but let them help instead! They could make a difference.

He almost let his tears fall when she stepped out of the boat, not minding him grabbing her finger and begging: "Mother, do not go! We can fight together. Or you can come with us. We will go to father and then we come back all together to protect Lotus Pier!"

No, it was not working, she turned a deaf ear to his pleas and jumped back onto the pier. For a second, he thought that she would just walk off without as much as turning back. She was standing there completely still, her back straight and her head held high. Luckily, she at least answered his call: "Mother!"

She turned around and her previous emotional and open face was gone, all that was left was her usual scowling expression and harsh words. Jiang Cheng tried to reach out for her again, to get out of the boat and join the fight, to stand by his mother's side. He could not understand why Wei Wuxian was just simply sitting on the boat's bottom, not even trying to help him persuade his mother. What a coward!

Suddenly, Jiang Cheng felt something stopping him and dragging him back to sit down. It took a second for him to realize he was now being tied up by Zidian which turned into the whip on its own and had just completely immobilized him. He would have been still able to get up and go after his mother if he had not been tied to the limp and silent Wei Wuxian. His brother was just sitting there, back to back with him and doing absolutely nothing.

Jiang Cheng was angry at him. He knew that if they just tried, they would be able to shake Zidian off, although it had encircled them quite firmly, it was not hurting them, there was still enough space for breathing and moving his hands. However, he could not do it alone. It was as if all life had left his brother and he had become only a puppet. Did he not care at all what would happen to his mother and to Lotus Pier? Why was he not resisting to be send away from the battle?

Jiang Cheng looked up at his mother again, one tear finally overflowing from his eye when she explained: "Zidian will let you go once you will be in a safe place. If you encounter any enemy along the way, it will protect you."

Jiang Cheng tried to concentrate his will and order Zidian to let him go. His mother had said he was now its master so the spiritual weapon should obey him, right? Nothing happened and Jiang Cheng realized at that moment that even though he was Zidian's master now, it was still more loyal to his mother. His heart fell when he understood that he would indeed not be able to get it off until it had accomplished its mission and took them somewhere safe as his mother had called it. But where could be a safer place than his home, with his parents by his side?

"Mother!" he called after her again, still hoping she would change her mind. He begged and reasoned again: "Mother, father is not back yet. We should join with him and fight together..."

His mother interrupted him, suddenly looking angry again: "And what if he does not return! I am fine without him!"

As if that had been the last drop, his mother suddenly kicked the boat hard to push it into the river's current. The impact made Wei Wuxian fall and he dragged Jiang Cheng with him. Now he could no longer even see his mother anymore! What was his brother doing all this time? Was he too shocked? Or was he too afraid of Wang Lingjiao's threat that Wen Chao wanted his arm? No surely not, he had never been afraid of anything and anyone, except for dogs.

He struggled to sit up again, dragging Wei Wuxian's body up with him. He started calling for his mother again, becoming more and more scared by the second when she attached a talisman to the boat and it started going down the stream.

He tried his best to lean forward to be able to still see her, but the boat's sides were starting to obscure his view. His brother was only a dead weight on his back, preventing him from properly moving around. He had never hated Wei Wuxian, not truly, however, in this moment when he was apparently trying his best to just be a burden, he thought he might. He was not sure what his brother's problem was, he was not even calling out to his mother to not leave them, he was just very silent and still.