The meaning of protecting you with my life

Battle of wills

Wei Wuxian had only vaguely realized that Wen Ning had already left, he hoped that the Dafan Wen disciple went to join his family, to hide and only come out once the battle would be finished. It was only a passing thought but Wei Wuxian wanted to somehow make it up to him for taking care of him this whole week even while he had been running a great personal risk, and not only for himself but for his whole family. Hopefully, once the allied forces would win, Wen Ning and the Dafan Wen clan would be able to ask for help and support from one of the great sects. They had not participated in the war; they should not be blamed for the faults of one of their distant relatives and pursued only because of their shared surname.

Wei Wuxian's entire being was focused on straining all his remaining forces and willpower on controlling the Yin iron, or more like understanding how he could actually control it. He was close, he knew it but there was just that last push left for him to take control of the relic and not be overwhelmed.

He could tell that the final siege must have already started because suddenly, nearly all the pressure of the resentful energy he had been putting up a fight against ever since being locked in this room withdrew away from him. Until now, he did not even realize just how suffocating it had been, how hard it had been to defend himself and his free will, not until the weight had been lifted and he could breathe freely again. It was so liberating he almost wanted to cry.

He could however not enjoy himself and rest or gather his forces for that matter. Not when he knew that his friends and family needed him. They were all somewhere out there, fighting, he also needed to help. So he only took a deep, steadying breath and continued to battle for the control of the Yin iron.

It was so incredibly easy this time when he did not have to divide his attention between defending himself and attacking at the same time. It took only a short moment and he was finally in.

Not literally of course, he could still not move a muscle and was caged like a wild animal, but he finally understood how the control of the Yin iron worked. It was all about will and manipulating the resentful energy outside of his body; not his own like he had been doing until now. He did not need to take in anymore resentment than he already had, it was all about commanding the overwhelming resentful energy abundant in every corner of Nightless City, there was plenty of it all around and more was being produced due to the battle raging outside.

Wei Wuxian could now feel all the resentment there was, every single wisp of it, every negative emotion of all the people currently living inside the Nightless City walls, and also every single death, both on the sides of the Qishan Wen sect and the allied forces. Every lost life was quickly followed by a flare of resentful energy as the body of the cultivator was raised from the dead and controlled by the Yin iron. There was so much, too much in fact. It was threatening to overwhelm him and never let go.

He felt like he was walking on eggshells, with his sanity on the line. If he made one wrong step, he would become a puppet himself; a living one but without any free will.

Wei Wuxian knew however that he could not let himself be overcome by the Yin iron. No, he had to control it instead. He had to stop this madness; especially the creation of new puppets and then the puppets from fighting. Only then would he be able to concentrate on the next task, destroying the Yin iron for good.

Once he prodded deeper, trying to actually control the Yin iron, he was met with a fierce resistance. He knew that it must have been Wen Ruohan.

As soon as the first surprise went away and Wei Wuxian failed to take advantage of it, his mind too slow and tired from everything that he had been through, the attacking resentful energy was back. Wen Ruohan retaliated with unparalleled strength. Wei Wuxian would never be able to muster so much of it, he was exhausted from everything that had happened to him in the last months and it was now that it was all catching up to him.

He swore internally but did not give way. He would fight to the bitter end, he owed it to his family to not give up. For one, he had to keep them safe to the best of his abilities – they would never be safe as long as the Qishan Wen sect remained in power and the Yin iron would not be destroyed – and he still considered himself as part of the Yunmeng Jiang sect, it would not do if the head disciple was not able to abide by its motto. He had to attempt the impossible. He had to prevail or die trying, there was no other option in his heart.

Images of everyone he had ever known flashed in front of his eyes, giving him courage and lifting his spirits. He knew he was fighting for them and that he was fighting together with them, even though he could not see them right now, they were just beyond the walls of the palace, or perhaps already inside, searching for the Qishan Wen sect leader. The knowledge gave him strength to push on.

He put all his willpower to use and slowly, oh so slowly, he was gaining ground on Wen Ruohan. He thought he could hear him scream in anger and the resentful energy once again lashed out onto him. But it was of no importance anymore, he was standing his ground and still pushing back.

He did not know how long he and Wen Ruohan had been fighting each other, it could have been seconds, minutes or hours in the real world. He really could not tell because in this special space created just by resentful energy, the Yin iron and his and the Qishan Wen sect leader's wills, time did not flow in the same way. Or at least Wei Wuxian assumed that since he had no way of knowing for sure. And did it even matter in the end? He just had to finish this as soon as possible.

He could still feel how people were dying and being resurrected as empty puppets controlled by resentment. He could only hope that his effort in not letting them go to the battle anymore was stronger than Wen Ruohan's commands for them to join his army. It was truly a battle of wills; while his physical body was broken and useless right now, that was not the case for the spirit. And his will seemed to have been stronger than the other's.

He was not on his own after all. Every time he waivered, there was someone to support him, every time he stumbled, there was someone to help him out.

"A-Xian!" Jiang Yanli was smiling at him with gentle eyes and her arms wide open.

"Wei Wuxian, do not do anything reckless. You are strong, so prove it!" Of course Jiang Cheng's encouragement would be just as crude as his usual self.

"A-Ying, I am counting on you. Remember, 'Attempt the impossible'." Uncle Jiang had always had a way to state the most important. And Wei Wuxian would forever listen to him, so attempting the impossible it would be.

"Protect them with your life!" Madame Yu's words stung as all previous times but right now, Wei Wuxian was grateful for the reminder. This way, he knew what he was fighting for and that he could not fail under any circumstances. His life was a small price to pay for the lives and futures of the family which saved him previously and gave him a place to call home.

"Brother Wei, if your plan succeeds, we will be able to end the Sunshot campaign with lesser losses than we had anticipated." Of course, Nie Huisang was right. He had to do his best, there were people who depended on him. There were other families who could lose their loved ones.

And then there was Lan Zhan. The perfect, pristine, righteous and unmovable Second Jade, smiling slightly at him with a worried and soft expression, much like he had done in the Cave of the Tortoise of Slaughter. Wei Wuxian felt like he was running a fever again; his vision was blurry and he could not remember Lan Zhan's features all too well, he could not focus on them, not when they were barely recognisable. But he knew it was him because the image was humming that peculiar and lovely tune, the one that was surely used for healing and lifting one's spirit.

Wei Wuxian started humming along and as he was gaining more ground and his determination never wavered again, his voice was becoming steadier. The song was overtaking even the screaming of the resentful energy in his head and he relaxed into it all the while pushing Wen Ruohan back.

Just a little bit more and he would be there. Just a little more and he would snatch the control of the Yin iron from Wen Ruohan's hands. He was close. He smiled at the blurry figure of the Gusu Lan sect disciple. He knew the end was close.

"Goodbye, Lan Zhan. You will never know that I have come to love you."