I Hate You, I Love You

chapter thirty-one | yes or no?

"Noah.." I said, walking into my room to see Noah laying on my bed crying. "Baby what's wrong?" I walked over to him. He didn't look at me.

I sat down next to him, rubbing his arm. "Noah, talk to me..did I do something?" I questioned. He didn't answer. "NOAH FUCKING TALK TO ME GODDAMNIT" I yelled.

"Fuck off dixie!" He sat up. "I get that you don't love me. You could've told me!" He said. I was confused "what do you mean!?" I said.

"You said you loved the girls more than me..I'm your fucking boyfriend Dixie. I do everything, I give MY EVERYTHING to you and you choose them over me"

"Noah! Obviously I love you! I'll always love you! But their my best friends, obviously I'm gonna love them as well!" I shouted, not too loud though.

"I'm sorry Dixie, but I give up. I'm not good enough for anyone. I try to hard. I also fall to hard. We're obviously not meant to be. I tried my absolute best to make you feel loved and amazing. Hopefully I conquered that. I love you Dixie, always will and always have" he started to cry.

"N-Noah. Please. I love you. You have made me feel loved and amazing. I see you always trying your best to love me and I know you conquered that because I've never felt more loved..ever." I said, also starting to cry.

I added in, "and I promise you are good enough. Just like you tell me, you're perfect the way you are. You're the best boyfriend I've ever had. Nobody's made me feel this loved. P-please don't leave me.."

Noah wiped my tears and pulled me onto his lap. I laid my head on his shoulder and wrapped my arms around his neck "I love you Noah" "I love you too"

"a-and I'm sorry for saying that..I promise I love you so fucking much" "it's perfectly ok baby. I understand that their your best friends" he smiled at me. I smiled.

"Now can we go back downstairs?" I asked. "Mhm let's go- but only if you cuddle me" he looked at me. "I'll cuddle you" I giggled.

We went back downstairs "everything ok?" Blake asked. We sat down "mhm perfectly ok" I smiled. "Good"

Noah laid down and then I laid down on Noahs chest. We were already almost halfway into the movie. Wow we were gone for a while.

We watched a couple movies until it was about 2 am. Charli was the first one to fall asleep and the Noah and I were the last ones

"Goodnight birthday girl. I love you more than anything" Noah kissed my head. "Bubba it's not my birthday anymore" I giggled. "Well too bad. But I still love you" he smiled

"I love you t-" I felt something come up my throat (ew💀). I ran to the closest bathroom, almost not making it to the toilet. Noah ran after me and held my hair back. "Hey, let it all out..ok baby?" He rubbed my back.

I finished throwing up and I just sat against the bathtub, crying. Feeling like nothing. "Hey princess, come here" Noah said, pulling me onto his lap.

I laid my head in the crock of his neck. "I-I'm sorry" I said. "There's nothing to be sorry about angel. Everything will be ok, I promise"

"o-ok..but Noah" I looked up at him. "Yes baby?" He said. "l-last time we had sex- well every time we've had sex we didn't use protection.." I said, nervously.

"Mhm..and?" He asked. "W-what if I'm p-pregnant.." Tears started coming down again. "If you're pregnant, then your pregnant" he smiled. "Y-you won't leave me?" "No! Never!"

I smiled. "I have a test up in my bathroom, can we take it now? I wanna know" I smiled. "Of course baby. Let's go"

We walked upstairs to my room and entered my bathroom, trying to be as quiet as we can because everyone in the house was sleeping. I went under my sink and grabbed the test.

"Ok, here it is" I opened the box and saw the test. I took it out and looked at Noah. "Welp" I sighed. He placed his hands on my cheeks. "If you're pregnant, then we can do this. Our baby will have the best mommy ever"

I smiled at the thought of me being a mommy and Noah being a daddy. I mean he was my daddy, but I guess I could share him (yuck😭). "But bubba, I can't share my daddy" I whined. "Dixie!" He laughed. I giggled.

"ok in all seriousness. I'm gonna take it" "ok baby. I'll be right here" he smiled and I sat on the toilet, beginning to pee in the cup.

Once I was finished I dipped the test in the cup and let it process. I set a timer on Noahs phone for 3 minutes since mine was downstairs and we just waited.

[3 minutes later]

"Ok bub, you ready?" Noah said. I looked up at him. All my nerves were kicking in. What if I was pregnant? How would my parents react? Charli!? I am super nervous. "Y-yeah" I said.

"Baby, you're ok. Everything will be ok. Positive of not..I'm not leaving you. Never." He hugged me. I hugged back "just in case this is my last time, I love you" "Dixie! Stop it. I told you-"

"I know I'm kidding bubba" I giggled. "Ok let's look" he said. I flipped the test over, slowly. Noah and I saw it at the same time because we had the same reaction. It was....

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A/N:
hello. so basically on Monday i ordered social tourist clothing and it was supposed to come yesterday. still not here. so i emailed Hollister to ship it to me again, and now i have to wait ANOTHER WEEK for it🤦‍♀️ at least i get it for free tho.

Have an amazing day/night<3

Word count: 1014