Art of Letting Go

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Kim Seokjin gazed up at the moon through his glass windows. The place he called home was empty except for himself. The lights were out and the room was plunged into complete darkness except for the pale moonlight that filtered in through his windows. The serenity of the night was a stark contrast to the emotional pandemonium inside of him as his thumb hesitantly hovered over the delete button on his phone. A picture of him and Eunsoo shone from the screen, their smiles so bright and genuine that he could physically feel the memory of it. A memory he wanted to let go of now.

It's time you let it go.

Jungkook's words faded into his mind. He was right. It was time he moved on from these memories to which he still desperately clung onto. He had to accept the past and move on with his life but then why was he hesitating? 

Why couldn't he just delete the picture that brought back the unpleasant memories? He didn't know why. He should have removed them from his gallery a long time ago and from his mind. He should have deleted it the instant he realized that it was all a lie. Instead, he chose to leave it in the back of his mind. He chose to live in the past and sit holed up inside his brain just as Jungkook had said. He hesitated to click the delete button. He was so used to being hung up on the past.

Frustration coursed through him and in a whim of anger, Seokjin prepared to hurl the phone across his room once again. But he paused. Not again. He already lost one phone that way. Breathing out an exasperated sigh, he brought his hand down and looked at the phone before his eyes went wide in shock.

Image_2096_177815 deleted.

The words shone on the screen. Seokjin stared at the words in disbelief as his fingers slowly began to tremble. He had accidentally deleted the picture. It was gone. The memory he so desperately wanted to get rid of was finally gone. He felt a new sensation inside his heart. Something that felt liberating and powerful that it invigorated his senses. 

Is this how letting it go feels like? Because it was an incredibly amazing feeling and as he looked up at the sky this time, it wasn't loneliness that he felt. He felt free.

It wasn't so hard to do it a second time. Seokjin swiped on to the next image and deleted it and this time there was no hesitation. So he swiped onto the next one and the next one. There was nothing holding him back now. He went on removing every single thing that reminded him of the past and he kept on going, relishing in that new sense of freedom. He felt as if he could finally breathe. Somewhere along the way, he had reached a video of himself he had recently taken at the lakeside park, and without a warning, the video began playing.

"Wah, it's the lake!"

Kim Seokjin smiled at the camera as he presented the beautiful view of the lake to the camera. An uninvited feminine form jumped inside the frame with a mischievous grin. Morphing her face to mirror Seokjin's, she lowered her tone as she mockingly imitated his voice, "Wah, it's the lake."

Seokjin rolled his eyes at Jaehwa's weird impersonation of him though the glint in his eyes gave away his amusement. Bringing the hand that he was pointing at the lake to under her chin so that he was presenting her, he announced to the camera scrunching up his nose in disgust. "Wah, it's an ugly frog!"

Jaehwa prepared to imitate him. "Wah, it's an ug- wait, WHAT DID YOU SAY?"

Deep bubbly laughter filled the air as he laughed at the camera, literal tears forming in his eyes from the strain of laughing so hard. Her expression... It was so hilarious! Jaehwa tensed her muscles ready to spring into action, wearing the most humorous expression of annoyance on her face and Seokjin knew it was time for his escape. He took off. He was still unable to control his laughter as Jaehwa's muffled indignant cries rang out from behind.

"You're the ugly frog, you prick! How dare you!"

The video finally came to an end plunging his home into an abode of silence once again. A small, fond smile was stretched across his lips. Suddenly, he realized that he had been smiling. Shocked, Seokjin touched his face. He was smiling? Genuinely? It felt different.

The voice of his best friend floated into his mind once again.

You're so hung up on the past that you don't even realize what's happening.

"Maybe you're right, Jungkook," Seokjin whispered into the night.

"Maybe not all of them are the same."

________________

Han Jaehwa ran up to the desk of her best friend waving her phone in the air. Abruptly coming to stop in front of her desk, she wheezed out pointing at the message Jieun had sent her. "What's the meaning of this? What do you mean Seokjin apologized to you?"

Jieun shrugged, feigning disinterest. "I don't know. He said he was sorry and that he couldn't go on that date. He said a lot of stuff but I didn't really understand all of it."

Jaehwa looked at her friend who had the most unbothered look on her face and she slowly asked, "Are you okay? You were so excited for it..."

Jieun flapped her hand in the air dismissing her inquiry. "It wasn't that serious or anything."

"But you thought he was going to..." Jaehwa trailed off, still eyeing her best friend skeptically.

"Ah, that's because I may or may not have had a teeny-weeny crush on him." She explained pinching her fingers together to indicate the amount. "But you know how I get a crush on every handsome man out there, don't you? Like I legit had a crush on Sahan before I saw Yoongi and then I had the longest ever crush on Yoongi before Seokjin came along."

Jaehwa was familiar with her friend's ever-changing list of crushes but she never knew about Sahan or Yoongi. Her jaw hung open at the newfound revelation of Jieun.

"Besides, I was kind of expecting something like this," Jieun stated, arranging the papers cluttered on top of her desk into a neat pile.

"What? Why?" Jaehwa questioned feeling quite puzzled.

Jieun looked up from her work to Jaehwa. With a small smile, she stated, "Maybe because he likes someone else?"

"He likes someone else?" Jieun noticed that Jaehwa's voice had gone significantly low.

"It's just a hunch but I'm like 99.9% sure about that." She repeated holding back her smug grin.

"Oh..." Jaehwa trailed off. "Okay then." She said mindlessly before she walked away as Jieun sat watching her retreat. She frowned. Did that idiot not get it?

Leaning away, she urgently called out, "Hoseok, you can come out now."

A redhead peeked out from under her desk looking around. "Is she gone?"

"Yeah, you're safe now," Jieun assured as she watched Hoseok crawl out from there. "Why did you hide when Jaehwa came?"

Hoseok shrugged. "Uh, well... it's nothing. But Jieun, is it true? Did you... really have a crush on Jin Hyung?" He asked earnestly, his doe eyes trained on her.

Jieun awkwardly scratched the back of her neck, "Um, yeah...but I got rejected. Kind of."

"Are you okay?" He pressed, looking at her with his concerned eyes.

"I'm alright. It's nothing big." Jieun dismissed his worries but Hoseok saw right through it. Gingerly, he placed a hand over hers, surprising her as he looked into her eyes. "You deserve so much better."

Jieun pursed her lips as she looked back at him.

"Maybe."

_______________________

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