Mafia's Prosecutor Lover

24

Namjoon :

The past weeks has been torture for me. I can't focus on anything, none of my work satisfying its like I have gone mad. The thought of maybe I need some release brought me to a club last night but I can't get hard for anyone!

Nobody interest me even they came surrendered, I just can't get in the mood!

I'm about to leave the club when I see Jin is having a drink with someone and they look close together. I keep watching them from afar, hiding myself in a dark corner.

Looking at their closeness while they drink and laugh don't settle well with me. The guy would sometime hold Jin thigh and caress his face and I don't like it.

I left before I did something I regret.

The last memory I have of Jin come flashing back. I know, I hurt him bad. I kiss him then I said I'm not gay. I should've known that I'm gay for him.

Why can't I see?!

Now, here I am. Waiting for him outside of the hospital because I remember his schedule. His shift will be over in a few minutes so this is my only chance to see him because he is not responding to my calls and messages.

Jin walk out going to his car looking tired and sleepy. He didn't notice my car parked next to him.

"Jinnie...." Jin stop on his track when I call his name.

He only look at me for a few second with blank face then he ignore my presence and made his way to his car.

"Jin please...." I call for him again when he is about to get in the car. He stop and turn to me.

"I guess you are here with your girlfriend? Sorry I can't be her doctor because, first my shift is over and second I'm very hungry sleepy. You should keep her company--moral support is the best medicine. Bye."

"Wait Jin, I'm not with anyone. Can I take you to breakfast?"

Angry and hungry Jin is scary. He stare at me again before agreeing.

So we left in my car. Jin remain quiet, knowing him for a short while I learned a few things about him. After his shift he would have light food because he want to sleep as soon as possible.

I take him to his favourite cafe and and we settle at table next to a glass wall. He looks tired but still beautiful. His plump lips looks extra pink and shiny today.

"Get to the point Namjoon, what do you want? Stop staring." He said looking down at his food.

I don't what to say... What should I say?

I want you?

I want to be your boyfriend?

Be mine?

I'm gay now?

"Namjoon!"

"I LOVE YOU!" Oh shit! It slip out like that.

It was quiet for a while then I look up to see Jin blank face. He look pissed.

"You told me yourself that you're not GAY! What are you trying to do? Playing with me? Are you in some trouble with Jungkook that you need my help? How dare you!"

What would I do?

What could I do?

To make him believe me?

Jin sit back crossing his arm looking upset really upset. I need to convince him, I have too because I can't lose him to anyone else.

"I know what I said and I'm very sorry. I have never been with man or attracted to one, it was always girls but being close to you... I'm confused. I don't know why I kissed you and it scared me. I don't want to disappoint you if I am not sure of my feelings for you."

Jin didn't look convinced at all because I am basically rambling instead of explaining. I'm not even prepared when I decide to meet him.

"So...now suddenly you love me? What make you so sure of your feelings? Don't joke with me..."

"Jinnie... If I'm not sure, I won't be here. How can I prove it to you? I'm new to all this. I have never fall in love, I have never like man, I have never been in love so bad like this that I barely living. Since you left, my life hates me, I can't even get back to my life before you. Everyday... Something is missing, I only feel emptiness until one night I saw you with a man. That's how I confirm my feelings because when I saw you--I feel the pain of losing you and I can't. I just can't. "

I said what is in my head, I will answer every question he has in mind until he believes me because I can't lose him. I realise it now.

5 minutes Jin is still stoic in his place and I don't want to push him so I'm giving him the space and time to think about it.

"Let me send you home. You need rest for your shift tonight. If you let me, I'll drive you tonight."

I ask hesitantly.

Jin quietly made his way out and I'm assuming he agree with me.

The drive is quite but I don't feel the tense because at least he didn't reject me right away. Jin only look outside the whole time until we reach his place.

I open the car door for him and walk with him to his door. Putting his password and the door open.

Jin step inside and I am still standing outside waiting for the door to fully closed before I leave.

"Come in." Then I heard it. It's slow but very clear to me. I'm stunt but Jin keep walking so I followed him inside.

Jin is still quiet so I don't know what should I do.

Should I wait in the living room?

Or follow him to his room.

I decide to wait in the living room when Jin is already went to his room. I'm sure he is taking a shower first before sleep. If he want me here then I'll be here so I prepared my self to settle on the couch tonight.

"Come inside." Again I heard his voice. I really hope I'm not hallucinating right now. N

I walk in and Jin gave me a change of cloth to sleep comfortably so I change into it.

Then I heard it again.

"Sleep with me."