When Dreams Turn into Nightmares [DREAMNOTFOUND ANGST]

Chapter 33

Georges pov

"Everything is going to be okay." I tilt back, putting my arms just behind my head.

"Now, that's the spirit! You're boyfriend is going to be just fine." I chuckle at Tommy.

"Pft, yeah, boyfriend." Leaning my head to the side, I start to frown once more, facing out the same window Dream was earlier.

"Wait, I for real don't know. Are you two actually dating?" Tommy continues after a few seconds. Even when knowing the clear answer, I still think.

It's- crazy how much has happened with us- how much I've denied everything after such things happened- how much I've pushed any feeling back when coming to the topic. But that- I see more of now. Really- after that kiss- that night- it's all only just begun settling in. Now with the term boyfriend flying around- It's just- strange. Before it was more of 'he's not my boyfriend,' with laughs, and denying everything. I hid every emotion from the surrounding people, even him- even myself.

Honestly, I don't know how to describe my feelings. I mean, I can explain how they are twords him, but just how I think of those feelings. It's so- confusing. Coming from someone who has never dated, never really liked anyone, never felt that spark- To even add on to it, someone who thought, or thinks they are straight. Then now thinking of the whole boyfriend thing again- I don't know.

I'd say that I shouldn't have pushed the emotions away, that I should've actually thought about it instead of shrugging it off. But I think the way I learned it was- important. I feel it has really showed me more than anything else could, rather then just trying to figure out this whole side to me without anything to really go off on. The more I actually think of it as well, the more I notice him grow on me, see that I might- just maybe- actually like him.

Though I've never felt love, or simple butterflies before, I think this just might be the first time I am. Also, I need to stop pushing Dream away too. I've already pushed myself, but I've came to realize the foolishness of that. I've learned. But knowing if someone really, really likes you, is tough for me. Sometimes I get scared just of the thought of him going away, leaving me. I've lost him before, and I regret it, I've told myself I'm never letting that happen again. I'm not giving up on him that easy. He deserves better than that.

"George?" I'm broken from my long string of thoughts. "Didn't mean to strike a nerve there-?" Tommy speaks in a confused-type way.

"Oh, sorry- Just thinking. You're good. But uh- yeah- yeah, no. We're not dating." He hums.

"Took you a while to answer there. It's kinda strange really, seeing how you two interact. But still not dating???" Tommy shakes his head, then looks back at me. "You can tell me anything, you know?" I shrug with a chuckle.

"Yeah, yeah. Trust the loud child that says everything on their mind, and lashes out on people when they call them a kid." He frowns.

"Hey, you know I'm not always obnoxious. And I can keep a secret. Anytime my bud Tubbo needed a rant, I always had his back. I was even able to personally help him with some of the things he said. But it's not like I'd do anything if you didn't want me to though." The corners of my mouth start to rise a bit, turning my previous sorrow filled expression, to a happier sense. Maybe- I can trust him. It's not like I'm saying everything obviously, but having a small ramble to someone would be nice.

"You know what- I trust you." Tommy then cheers with a small 'yes', quickly focusing after. "Don't tell anyone though. Especially Dream." Once he nods, I begin with the shrunken rant. "So, it is about Dream. Suprise, I know. But it's just that- I've never felt that connection with anyone before. Even since kindergarten, never dated anyone. So I don't really know how it's like or anything, and always thought I was straight- But just to get to the point, I think I might like Dream." I shut my eyes, slowly opening them to a face I wasn't expecting. No laughs, or anything. But someone simply listening.