Light of Stars [2]

Chapter Thirty-Nine

♕ The Dead Tree ♕

"I no longer have time Syb. This is our only option" Aubrette said, hurrying down the side of Lynx. Sybilla's steps matched hers almost exactly, only a few steps away as she tried to catch up to Dorian who waited for her at the main entrance.

"No. You're not doing this just because of your mother. Look at me" Sybilla said, grabbing her wrist to make her turn towards her. "I know you. Theres something else, why can't you just talk to me?"

Aubrette looked into her eyes, confused and hurt, as if it all where happening far too fast for her to comprehend. Aubrette thought back on Iz, how clam she had been about it all, and how impressed Zander had been as he realized she would be the first one, since queen Amelie to step foot into Infernum. Sybilla had said nothing through all of it, following her out instead. "Syb, are you the one asking that question right now?"

Sybilla let go of her wrist. "What do you mean?"

Aubrette took a deep breath, took a step closer, she could not hold it inside her anymore, could not pretend she was unaware of something so important for her, could not pretend it wasn't eating her inside that she had not trusted her enough to tell her for so long.

"I know there's something going on between you and Zander" she said, Sybilla's eyes flashing in surprise. "And I know you did not want me to know but I do, I've been seeing you sneaking into each others rooms since the grave."

Sybilla shook her head. "Thats different"

"How?"

"I just" her voice trembled, her eyes looked down to the floor. "I didn't want you to feel like I was happy when you weren't"

Aubrette felt her heart tightened inside her chest, Sybilla's eyes glossing over. She had been so hurt, so shattered not to see any of them where in pain too, and she had wanted to be there for them, all of them, yet she had pushed them away. A rush of anger bursted through her soul, she hated it, hated all of it, hated that being broken meant other people shielding your from the truth, hated that they had felt as if their only option was to put their pain second and hers first.

Aubrette swallowed down the knot forming in her throat, and grabbed Sybilla, hugging her as close as she could. "I want you to be happy, how could I ever not want that? I want you to tell me about it, want you to let me be happy for you" her mouth closed as a sob threatened to rip out of her mouth. "You don't have to protect me Syb. You're my friend, not my healer."

"Okay" Sybilla whispered, letting go. "So lets not hide anything from each other anymore" Her hands wiped away the tears staining her face. "Why are you leaving?And do not tell me its because you need to search for an ally when we could still change Stella's mind. Do you really trust him? Sure his good looking but do you really want to take this big of a chance Zander said..."

Aubrette moved away. "Dorian is not the reason I'm leaving Syb."

"Then why?" She could not breathe. Her chest parting in two at the memory of her standing next to the cliff, of her wanting to fade away in the river, of her not being who she needed to be. Tears clouded her sight again and Aubrette looked up to they sky, begging them not to fall.

"I just need to do something that doesn't involve me staying locked up in a room again." She spoke. Not a lie. Not the whole truth either. "I'm sick of it. And Stella wants me to play into it, she wants me to sit there and look pretty and shut my mouth when she tells me too. It feels like being in Blackstone all over again. I don't want that."

"And what makes you think they will be any different there?" She said, her voice slightly higher. "He called you queen once and you're willing to follow him into the end of the world for it?"