Light of Stars [2]

Chapter Thirty

♕ Below the Bridge ♕

Zander sat on the bed and leaned towards her, kissing her temple before settling to sleep. Sybilla held her breath at the sudden action. He'd never done that before. It been a few hours since she'd left Aubrette's room, and she had stayed hoping that he would come here tonight, that she would get to see him again after all that happened in the day.

She had lied to herself as she'd searched for Aubrette, lied and told herself the deep feeling in her stomach of worry and nausea was just cause she couldn't find her friend. That the fact she had not seen him in hours did not affect her in the slightest. But she had know all was a lie as soon as she heard him enter. As she felt him close to her again.

Sybilla had not dared to accept it, until now. How much she cared. The thought sent a spiral of fear down her bones.

"What are you thinking about?" Zander asked. His hand drowning patterns on the bare skin of her arm, trying to sooth her back to sleep.

"How scared I am" she answered truthfully.

"Morte is looked up beyond so many layers of moonstone its impossible for him to escape" he spoke, and his lips touched her shoulder. "I won't let him get to Aubrette" he promised.

Sybilla turned, looking at him, remembering how he'd jumped from his seat, and pushed Morte to the ground as the arrow had cut through Aubrette's skin. How his eyes had fallen on her, and his shoulders relaxed as he realized Izabella had already armed her, and the two of them were now making their way out of the crowd.

"I'm not scared of that" she said, he frowned slightly. She remembered him, his words that night in the ship before everything had suddenly seemed too real. How he'd claimed his heart hers.

She remembered how she'd felt as she'd ripped the covers away from Mason, as she'd pushed herself through endless thick shadows to get him to wake up. His face of hope as he'd watch her on top of him shaking his shoulders to get him to open his eyes. The devastation in his face as he'd realized what he'd done. Where Aubrette ended up because of him. How hurt he'd been when he realized she still could not forgive him.

It was the first time she'd looked at him the same way she'd done before again. The first time she'd allowed herself to feel, whatever lingering feeling of love and devotion once had burned inside of her. They'd bone been to young, to reckless, too desperate to fall in love with anyone. They had shared too much of each other already, but that hadn't been love.

Not when he had keeper her hidden, when he had refused to let her tell Aubrette so many times. It had not been love when he'd left her without saying goodbye. More hurt by whatever fight had gone in between the two of them, than what she would think... what she would feel in his absence. He had not cared enough, or maybe... maybe he'd thought she would love him enough to forgive him, once he came back, love him enough to hold on to that love.

Sybilla had let herself feel the hurt, not because she did not love him anymore, but because of how it had ended, how he had chosen to end it all. Long before they'd shared their last kiss, long before the queen or Nerezza had made their mark on him. Their relationship had died the second he'd ran away to hide in Goldcrest. They just had not realized it yet.

"Then what are you scared of?" Zander said, close enough that she could feel his eyelashes brushing her cheek.

Sybilla held her breath. "Hurting again. Of you hurting me" she admitted.

"I don't want to hurt you" he said, moving slightly back so that he could stare into her eyes. He was one of the few people who looked at her in the eyes now. One of the few who did not shy away from the fire in them.