Light of Stars [2]

Chapter Twenty-One

♕ Golden Water ♕

The water was dark but she knew her way around darkness better than most. And this time there was nothing holding her back from hiding away from it. She could feel their hands touching her skin as she passed through them swimming deeper into the sea. She could see the world fading away, until there was nothing but night sky.

Blue, deep and endless.

When drowning felt like breathing clean air she searched inside of herself for a part of her soul that had remained hidden behind locked doors for too long, locked away along with the pain of reminiscing. It sparked, a tiny drop of sun, surrounded by something so dark even the depths of the Grave shied away from it. When she found it, Aubrette let it burst open.

She let it pour out of her in the most familiar way she knew, in a way that resembled the flickering lights that floated above Blackstone's square. One by one appeared around her, dots of light that mover at her will. She was their sun, their center. Aubrette remembered the day she'd released them, how it had felt that day, so out of focus, uncontrolled, shattered, the way her soul had been. But her mind was sharper, clearer now. She had a purpose. Something to fight for. She would not let them slip.

Then she made them brighter and melted their light together, she thought of Goldcrest's sun, unbearable for days against her skin, warmth so high it was impossible not to bow at it. She screamed, filling her light with her anger, feeling as the darkness from her soul faded away the longer she kept it burning. It felt like being in the middle of the night sky as the stars melted and turned it into gold, and Aubrette was flying in the middle of it.

The world was golden, and it poured out of her without end. Aubrette closed her eyes slowly, letting it all consume her bit by bit, she didn't know if she was still breathing, she did not understand how something she had been so afraid of could feel so freeing. She was sure there was water traveling into her lungs, and the moment there was no space inside her anymore the world would turn black. And for the first time in what seemed like forever, she feared the darkness. She did not want to sleep anymore.

Aubrette forced her eyes to stay open even when it was hard too see anything at all, she forced every muscle of her body to pull forward, fighting the heaviness of the water to float into the bit of sky that was still visible to her. She let it pull her forward, and hoped it was not the depth of the sea that was dragging her under.

The water seemed lighter, easier to swim against, but she could no longer feel her legs fighting against her current, no longer could feel her arms moving. Her body was giving up, she was not strong enough, she'd let it fade away, turn weak, refused to eat, still refused to breathe, to care about it for longer than a second. She would not be able to get out, but the rest of them would. Every last one of them.

Her body floated in the middle of the sea, her eyes closed, a starry night meeting her inside her mind.

Aubrette willed the light to shine brighter.

She let it burn, and burn and burn.

☆

Her head burst through the water and she gasped as she took the air in, clean air filled her lungs and she could see again. The waves pushed her back underwater. The lullaby made its way into the back of her head again, and it did not feel like a lullaby, it felt like a scream of war.

Further, Further, Further.

Her head rose above water, and she tried to keep it there for as long as she could. There was laughter and dancing again, and it hurt to look at, hurt to be near to. She saw Layla pushing her way through the crowd, and Aubrette realized she must've wanted to help, she tried to smile, but Layla's expression continued to be of worry.